New Year's Day challenge!!!

Thanks Sam. Relapses have haunted me and disappoint me still. I too have gone through the cycle of small bets to large bets to bust. It just highlights that no small bet is worth it for us.

The latest episode is still pretty raw for me. I don't want to waste my life though so need to move on. It takes time, I don't want it to take time, I want it now, but that's why this is difficult and nothing worthwhile is ever easy.

Relapses scare the s**t out of me never had one. The only time I've ever tried to stop is when I joyed here. I have gone times where I have not had a bet mainly due to lack of funds even then I'd have the odd bet with change I wasn't trying to stop.

When I look back when I was 20 I moved to the lakes because I wasn't happy with my life an gambling paid a part in that decision but I didn't realise at the time it more if a sub conscious call that things needed to change.

I plan on this being my day 1 if does happen I prey to God that I have the courage to stop and admit it sooner rather thank later. I've seen people on here saying you have to have relapse to get it, to maybe see the grass is not greener I don't believe I need to do that I can remember how muddy and horrible that grass was and I see the hurt from other who have gone back to gamble. Like your good self change as sad as it was reading your post last week it inspired me not to go back there. Selfish I know but I take any help from anywhere I can find.

I must say though I have to total respect for people who do slip and come back and don't give up on giving up. I worries me how many people have come and gone from this site and have not come back after going back but I can't help that. So dont give up on giving up

Uncertain outcomes - you've put into words the feelings involved in a relapse. Devastating. It's something I need to stop doing or it's pointless trying in the first place.

I don't think I have the strength to go through it again. I need to stay extra vigilant and avoid all gambling.

Day 166 today! And day 7 for me. Had a really rough night with my son. Think the hot weather is getting to him so he's moving around too much and making himself sick.

If anyone has a topic for today then please let me know.

Family (as you mentioned your son). For me my family have been fantastic support not just about my gambling but in general the past year, which has been a very testing one for me. Of course they find it difficult to understand the gambling but they can see how hard I'm trying and the things I have been doing to make the necessary changes. Even though my siblings live overseas I'm very lucky to have a family unit that believe in me. This in turn helps me abstain and maintain as I don't want to let them down again. I want to be a good role model for my son. Someone who he can look at and be proud to call his daddy. I need to take care of myself too. Healthly mind, body and soul

Hi Sam - family is a hard one to discuss. I've been through too much over the past 12 months and to think I've continued to gamble shames me to the core. I'm working on some ways to make amends but it takes time.

Well done on 33 days! That's a great start. Telling friends can be a good one as they can look out for you and you don't want a mate to catch you in the bookies or see you looking up some bet on the dog and bone.

165 days to go and day 8 for myself! Topic for discussion today - the non financial impact of gambling.

I have noticed a change in myself since I started acting compulsively in relation to gambling. I've become a miserable and self loathing introvert. My motivation has dropped and I'm less inclined to get off my backside and do things that ultimately I want to do.

I'd rather play online, research bets or watch an event id bet on than, say, go see my old Nanna who only lives round the corner. When she pops her clogs I won't be able to take that back and I'll regret that time. I need to make some corrections in my life and start being a better person.

Good topic. Whilst in the midst of gambling I would procrastinate also. When I was winning I felt invincible and felt so good about myself forgetting the areas in my life I still need to improve. When I was losing though, oh the self-loathing and miserable feelings soon changed my being. I often felt that I somehow deserved all the s***e that happened the past while, that it was all my fault because I was a no good gambler. Truth is, while it definitely played a part it wasn’t the be all and end all. As the gambling fog has continued to subside I have become a lot more focused on what I want/need to do with my life and how to go about it. Facing my fears head on and have the difficult conversations now instead of tomorrow/next week or month etc. I feel a lot more confident again and am beginning to like what I see in the mirror.

Thanks Sam - that's a good summary - the reference to procrastinating is spot on. That sums it up perfectly. The ultimate example is gambling itself - putting off quitting.

Had a manic day today and played footy tonight. Apologies. Hope everyone is still on course.

Day 9 for me and 164 till end of the year.

I'm on Day 53 myself. Important not to wish time away as we all have wasted so much of it gambling.That old saying becomes more apt everyday, One Day At A Time

Still here, I would like to raise the topic of anxiety win or lose.

I think the emotional impacts , the high of the rush when a jackpot appears or the fast beating and tightness of the chest. The fog lifts out of the gambling session and boom it either feels like what do i do with this amount of money to how do i not lose it and visa versa when you have lost thousands and sit there in shock which can sometimes last for days.

Then all the thoughts flood in, no energy, snapping at people because we are unhappy inside but can not share our secret vice with everyone.

Maybe I am rambling as i have anxiety today still from my recent relapse and its taking sometime to shift a long with

difficult week of events.

I am here to change, I am still in this gamble free journey. Closed down avenues but oh god it feels like i have lost my best friend, my only friend at some points in my life yet a friend that took so much and in return made me ill

Hi I will save myself... thanks for visiting and making a post! It wasn't anxiety as such for me it was just a buzz. My vice was sports betting. I got a massive buzz win or lose if it was close and I was on the end of my sit. Obviously huge elation if my bet was looking like a loss and then in last min it won. But close losses where it wasn't certain which way it would go had my heart pounding. Easy wins did little for me I would not even watch once it was 3-0. Easy defeats and id spend rest of the contest researching up another bet. Slots and casino games are totally different. They are constant same pace or lots of the same and then one jackpot then lots of same and then maybe a jackpot. It's a totally different style of betting and different ups and downs. That's my tuppence anyway. Hope you're doing ok!

Still here on this challenge and I hope you are all doing well. Its a tough time recovery but it is better than being lost in gambling hell !