NO MORE ROULETTE.

A reply to Rossco,

I am a new member / user of GAMCARE, and I have perhaps just lived through your Christmas Future scenario.

I started gambling about 5 years ago, started off with online lottery scratch cards, then I discovered online live roulette and things spiralled.

At first it was just pocket money, simply justified as either buy beer or "earn a few quid" by taking a calculated risk. it seemed to work with small numbers - so why not go big? That's when I borrowed money from the mortgage (about £40k), spent monthly salary almost entirely, and went into arrears with the mortgage - which is when my wife caught me gambling - and I was still buying beer.

My total spend over a 4 month period in 2009 was £80k of real money, the buzz was the turnover accumulator showing over £4 million, I was taking out tens of thousands and running it straight back in again on the assumption that the risk was manageable - but of course the house always wins in the end.

We got past this episode as a married couple, me by the skin of my teeth - it only stopped because I got caught, otherwise I would have probably, almost certainly gone further with the house at risk...

move on to early 2011, I had actually stayed completely clean since Christmas 2009. I took voluntary severance and landed a very nice cash lump sum. The work that I had planned didn't come in, in the right time frame. So I went back to roulette in the belief that I could stretch the money out for another few months - didn't quite work out! I lost £26k, ran up two credit cards to a total of £28k, bottomed out my overdraft of £4k - my bank foreclosed on my current account and called in all the debts. My wife again stood by me, this time she borrowed to get me clear, and luckily the work that I was counting on did start and I was able to work through the remainder.

You may think that this is the end of the sorry tale - but of course it isn't.

Around about July this year I started again, I will claim disillusion with my job as an excuse for dropping back in to the mire. A job that I am very experienced in, and actually very good at, has simply slipped away from me, I haven't been going to work, lack of sleep and stressing over loses, or speculating on betting strategy taking over everything, running out of money so I physically couldn't get there. It has now come to a head - AGAIN - but this time its potential divorce papers, I couldn't afford Christmas, and New Year is going to be a very quiet affair for me. I have used loans from quite unsavoury places to fuel the habit, or to get enough fuel in the car (and beer in me). I have a number of very good friends around me, who I have been ignoring, I have been very snappy, and incredibly anti-social.

Those friends are now helping me with the debt side of the issue, I am posting here to try and clear my head, this is the first time that I have approached any form of counselling or support for what is a clear case of problem gambling.

That's a very raw nerve open to all.

still roulette free. Urges are fading and with new year around the corner i dont think i will play them again. Hope you all stay strong and avoid the temptation that even a quid on these machines would bring. Take care folks.

Hi Piglet,

I am just 3 weeks ahead of you, and thank goodness, was busted by my partner. I have drawn a line under my massive loss (that I was chasing), and immediately sought help from gamcare. I have only had an initial assessment, but start counselling in the new year. I really can't wait for that to happen. I know that I gamble to suppress emotions as it totally takes me to another place where it seems my mind is empty and I don't have to face anything in the real world. The hardest thing for me was to call the helpline and admit that I have a long term problem. We can all get over this and start again. Be strong. Louise.

NoProblem - fantastic stuff, well done! Long may it continue and here's to a gamble-free 2014.

Piglet38 - welcome to the site and well done. Massive step to acknowledge the problem and to come here in the first place, so that's great.

In your situation (and I was in one which was similar), I just want to say that even though it doesn't feel like it now, there is a way out of this - you can lead a happy, successful, gamble-free life. I'm not going to lie and say it's easy or quick - it isn't - but it's achievable.

Every gambler eventually reaches their rock-bottom. When you just can't take it anymore and the will to change overpowers the will to gamble. The problem is, it's difficult to tell when you've really reached it - every gambler probably has many times (as you have) when you are in absolute despair and you think it can't get any worse, only for it to get much worse. So it's hard to tell when you've actually reached the very bottom - but I hope (if that doesn't sound odd) that you are there now. Because then you can finally bring an end to this. It's tough - the early days, weeks, months are tough - not just combatting the tornado which is the disease, but dealing with the devastation it has left behind. You'll have financial things to deal with, emotional things to deal with, practical, work-related things, everything - and it feels daunting. Sometimes it feels so daunting that you just want to retreat to what makes you happy in the short-term - gambling. But that will not make the problems go away, it will just make them worse.

So reach out, as you have done, and get help. All the problems can be whittled down to lots of little ones that can be dealt with one by one. Debts can be repaid, trust can be rebuilt - it takes time, but every day you stay gamble-free is another brick in the foundation of your new life. There's loads of help to be had on this site so stay with us and let us know how you're doing.

Cheers,

Ross