No support

Congratulations on your 63 days 🙂 & well done for coming clean!

Counting kept me safe in the early days & it's nice to be winning for a change, seeing numbers going up instead of bank balances going down 🙂

Have you considered popping into the chat rooms on here? It's typing so you don't have to articulate, you may get a welcome but you can be shy & it's ok from what I've seen of them!

If your partner is struggling with the concept but wants to help, maybe she could phone the helpline for a bit of support?

Keep working on staying stopped & the second you feel like you could accept outside help, go for it, we're all worthy of a bit of support - ODAAT

Thanks odaat, I may pop on to chat soon.

Still feeling good, no urge.

67 days.

Hi Brandon,

BIG well done on what I hope is 70 days now, also coming clean with your partner, the latter a massive step on the road to recovery. It's the norm that our partners don't understand a gambler so don't worry there. I quote your opening post.

............."Ill never go to any groups/chats/counselling, even though im sure it would help. I just struggle talking about it. Maybe one day.​"................

All I will say is you've already said you may give the chat a go, but please consider trying at least 2-3 GA meetings. If they're not for you then at least you've tried. It's a long road with the support of others, without anyone I know I'd I have struggled these last 6 months. All I say is give GA a go, there's no forms to fill out, everything is confidential and everyone there is in the same boat as you trying to live a normal happy life without gambling. You don't even have to speak, just listen, then you may find something that you totally relate to and decide to contribute to the conversation.

Wishing you all the best. Shep

Cheers Shep. I know it would be good for me, I just need to get used to the idea. I think whatever I'm doing now seems to be working. My wife is behind me a lot more lately, offering more support, we talk about the situation.

Despite the start of the football season starting (which I was dreading) I still haven't had a single urge to gamble. Never thought this would be possible after betting regularly for so long.

76 days down...

Checking in, 82 days.

Reading on here regularly feels so helpful, come on most days now.

Brandon you story has similarity as mine. My partner also does not understand the gambling addiction and says the same thing when i counting days. No support from home but i am doing on my own and attend GA meetings regularly which definitely help.

I'm not sure what exactly is expected of the partner here but there's an unpleasant element of self pity in the tone of these posts.

I would love to understand why such destruction was apparently necessary but I'm not going to get any satisfactory answers, it's one of the things that I have to accept.

The support and understanding that you seek comes from fellow CGs in a GA room. Or on this forum. Expecting deep and profound understanding of addict thinking from a non addict isn't going to happen, nor should it. It's the addict thought process that has to change if there's to be real recovery. Nor should you expect the partner to tolerate the intolerable. You are responsible for your own actions and the consequences of them because if you are not, then who is?

CW

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Cynical wife wrote:

I'm not sure what exactly is expected of the partner here but there's an unpleasant element of self pity in the tone of these posts.

I would love to understand why such destruction was apparently necessary but I'm not going to get any satisfactory answers, it's one of the things that I have to accept.

The support and understanding that you seek comes from fellow CGs in a GA room. Or on this forum. Expecting deep and profound understanding of addict thinking from a non addict isn't going to happen, nor should it. It's the addict thought process that has to change if there's to be real recovery. Nor should you expect the partner to tolerate the intolerable. You are responsible for your own actions and the consequences of them because if you are not, then who is?

CW

CW, I understand where you coming from but there are some exception, i told my partner from the beginnings when nothing was lost, but she never bothered if i lose or win, despite telling her that i am going towards addiction and maybe one day it will be a disaster but she never took any notice.

It's not her job to save you from yourself and I'm not sure how you expect her to prevent you from gambling. It's not physically possible. As we've all found to our cost, a determined gambler will do what it takes to gamble.

Also, it's the cry of an addict to say that your case is different. Known in AA as terminal uniqueness. You are an individual but the addiction has common themes.

Time for you to take responsibility for yourself and your own actions.

CW

Edited, not arguing on a forum.

83 days. 🙂

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Cynical wife wrote:

It's not her job to save you from yourself and I'm not sure how you expect her to prevent you from gambling. It's not physically possible. As we've all found to our cost, a determined gambler will do what it takes to gamble.

Also, it's the cry of an addict to say that your case is different. Known in AA as terminal uniqueness. You are an individual but the addiction has common themes.

Time for you to take responsibility for yourself and your own actions.

CW

CW, As cgs we cant get out of this addiction on our own, its an illness, you can not let your cg partner bruning in this misery. If your partner is dying due to cancer would you let him dying even he wants to get the treatment to get better? I am sure you are here because of your partner because you are concerned and effected by his gambling. Yes there is no doubt we are sole responsible for our actions but partner supports counts as well.

Not every one is same how can its not diffirent than other CGS? A typical CG lies cheats steals do everything for his addiction, In my case i told her from the day one and never lied there were so much she could do like taking over finances she could put blocker on for me which she did after losing all. I have social anxiey depression i also daignosed with autisim, unfortunatley i been dragged into this evil addiction and i am trying very hard going to GA regulary despite my social anxiety and taking every step like self exclusion put blockers on to make sure this not happen again.