Relapsed after a year and 8 months

Hi,

Relapse is a bitter pill to swallow but it's also part of recovery. Never stop trying especially as you have reasons to be a better role model for your child. My father was also a compulsive gambler and I sadly followed in his footsteps.

I wish you all the best.

Stu

Mate although it may seem the end of the world please just get back on it, remember how it felt and use it to have another year gambling free, you have done brilliantly so far , no shame and in fact I take my hat off to you for being honest coming on here.

Appreciate the responses stu and Holycrosser. My son has been the reason I have come so far. I know I can go back to it. Terrified this time my partner won't be able to stand by me. I wouldn't blame her. Then everything it means for us as a family, as well as the immediate financial issues. I know I have to get back to what I have been doing the past year and a half. Just feeling sick to my stomach at the moment

The money has gone don’t dwell on it or the urge to put it right will lead you down a rocky road, I appreciate telling family about these things is hard, I duck out of it, good luck pal.

You’re an inspiration to me and I’m sure many others who are trying to go a month without gambling, never mind a year and 8 months.

You should be so proud of how far you’ve come. It’s just a small relapse and I’m sure you’ll go back to how you were GF. You struggled and did so well and there’s no shame in a relapse. We will always have this urge inside us as gamblers.

It sounds like you know a trigger as you say you were feeling anxious. Maybe try to understand why you were feeling anxious and come up with a plan next time you feel like this to deter yourself from going down the gambling route. Maybe think of your children not being able to eat, not having a roof over their head. Whatever it is, I think we have to be brutal and drastic with ourselves in order to prevent that first deposit. Think of the worst possible scenario. This is what I’m going to try to do too.

Wishing you well. I have confidence in you mate because you’ve done it before. You don’t need me to tell you. I’m trying to get to where you are. You’ve done so well and you give me hope.

Definitely agree with thinking drastically AJ because it actually becomes a possibility.
Thank you, I was proud of where I had got to. What is really getting to me is that I have a child to think of and a partner who stood by me before and I am just so angry with myself after how far I had come.
You can do it yourself. Sometimes feels impossible but try to take a day at a time and find the things to focus on that will help you. That's what I had done until now.

I'm not in a position to borrow because my credit rating is so bad after all my past behaviour to gamble

Told my partner and broken her heart again. Impossible to understand why I would do something so stupid when things had been so good gamble free. Disgusted with me and understandably so. Hoping we can find a way through

Good luck with it

I'm in the same position relapsed after 6yrs now living with my sister to give my wife of 42yrs time on her own I've now started back to work to attempt to financially pay her back but it's eating away at me all the time when I'm awake how I deceived her trust again it's a lot harder to take this time the way I started back with all the lies and deceit

We are looking at joint counselling mike maybe that is something you should consider? All we can do is use the shame we feel to drive us to prove that we want to be gamble free and hope we can an be forgiven again. Would you be willing to give her full control of finances? I have agreed for my wages to be paid to my partners bank account so I don't have the access. Hope you can eventually work it out. I know it feels worse after having the time GF you can do it again you have proven you can.

just wondering ukm1988m why does your wife not have exclusive control of your wage/finances, remove the finance, you cant get a loan, because of your low credit score (a common problem with us gamblers) so you will not be able to gamble. with a 10 month old child you will need to take a drastic step for the financial security of your child, and also this may give confidence to your wife about your commitment to the family unit, and to give her peace of mind that there will be no re occourance of this disasterous financial self sabbotage. just a thought. sorry about the spelling