So I am just after pulling in after a 4 month gambling spree. I am tired and narky, but sick and tired of this.  To be honest my head is just not in a place to write anything. So tomorrow is day 1.
Dear Heamje
Welcome to the GamCare forum and thank you for posting your story. It sounds like you are exhausted with your gambling right now so thank you for making the effort to join the forum. You're doing the right thing by asking for help.Â
We can understand you weren't in the right frame of mind to tell your story or write a longer post. Maybe if you feel up to it, you could head over to the New Member Intros section and write an introduction over there? It doesn't need to be a long post. A lot of more experienced members make a point of checking that section to welcome new members so you may get more support if you also post there.
If you'd like some 1:1 support you may also want to give us a call on the Freephone HelpLine on 0808 8020 133, or chat to an adviser on the NetLine.
Look forward to hearing more from you.
Best wishes,
Forum Admin
Hi
Once I was able to abstain from gambling I use to try and escape in other ways and also I still had my obsessions.
In time I understood that my addiction and obsessions were due to me wanting to escape my feelings and my emotions ad how I felt about myself.
It was very important for me to put much more time and effort in to my recovery than I put in to addictions and obsessions
The addictions and obsessions were a form of escaping in my fears, the addictions and obsessions were a symptom that I was emotionally vulnerable.
When I went to the addictions and obsessions were a way of me escaping in my fears from people life and situations I could not cope with emotionally.
The addictions and obsessions were a form of self abuse, going with out my needs my wants and not having any goals in my life.
It can be argued that we feel that we are not worthy of any thing, that we cheat our self from treating our self nicely.
I use to be very volatile and erratic I felt very unstable.
By being in the recovery program we heal from the pains of our past the pains of the past become our strength today. I understand today that by going to the recovery program and sticking with it, I am not only a survivor but more importantly I value myself more than ever before. I set boundaries for myself and my well being, by set boundaries for myself I am no longer the victim and I value myself.
Today I no longer fear emotional intimacy. Today I willing to over come procrastination and justifications.
My emotional triggers were my pains not healed. My emotional triggers were my fears not faced.
My emotional triggers were my frustrations due to my unreasonable expectations of people life and situations. By me having unreasonable expectations of people life and situations I was effect causing myself pains time and time again.
My emotional triggers were my feelings of loneliness due to my fears of emotional intimacy. My emotional triggers were my feelings of being bored. I can be honest today with out being cruel or adversely affecting other people. I can embrace change towards healthy habits today.
My unhealthy reactions to people life and situations indicated that my hurt inner child was not healed.
The more I put in to my recovery the more I got out of my efforts.
Please keep going to meetings, you will benefit from it in so many ways.
Love and peace to every one.
Dave L
AKA Dave of Beckenham
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