Still at it.

Dear Thisisruiningmylife,

Welcome back to the Forum. I'm so glad you've come back to write about what you're going through. I can hear how deeply gambling is affecting you, and you don't need to go through this alone.

You've done well to continue pursuing help to stop gambling. There is always hope and if you feel you'd like to try any of these supports you've mentioned again (or something new), you can always contact us. We're here on the helpline on 0808 8020 133, our live chat and Whatsapp, 24/7. You can call any time that's good for you to talk through your options, or just to chat.

I wonder if you've sought any support for mental health too? Gambling addiction really can be exhausting. It may ease a little of the pressure from you.

Wishing you all the best,

Jamie

Forum Admin

Having read a couple of your posts you have a classic case of a personality disorder

Many gamblers like to create a secondary persona whom when the s**t hits the fan can take the blame for the mess 

" it wasn't me that did it , it was the addiction doing it" 

It alleviates the guilt, the shame and the blame so they can quickly get back to doing what they do best

----------------------

Perception is reality

If you tell yourself you are a gambling addict loser every day then sure enough that is what you will become 

the good news is gambling is not a compulsory activity believe it or not you have the will power to be able to say to yourself " i don't want to gamble today" 

Whether you choose to exercise that will power is another thing

Many prefer to go down the routes of therapy , medication , family intervention and so on and so forth 

But all you really need to do is accept you can't win and just stop 

that is the magic formula 

@givemethebuzz thank you. What you said made perfect sense.

Is it even worth me doing this CBT course thing ??

9 days I've not gambled and I've always known these businesses were all over the place but I feel like it's finally kicking in how much money these companies are taking from us. There gambling organisations are literally everywhere in this country. Those profiting from this will have there day!!! What an awful awful industry.  I was the fool who kept walking in and indulging myself in it. Im hoping to break this cycle but what I don't want to do is to replace it with another vice. 

Just had a relapse gambling on slots. Will start again day 0

This games a scam you won't win a penny believe me I will tell you now

I was gambling till 4am last night in them 24 hour walk in casinos (no I'd checks) I'm devestated now I done 500 pounds trying to win a 500 jackpot. My soul was sinking my heart was racing. It was all so painful. I feel terrible honestly going to stay in bed now 

@thisisruiningmylife Einstein is credited with the saying “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing time and time again and expecting a different outcome.”

My gambling made me feel insane and I’m sure for times I had insanity. I just wanted to stop and think clearly, be able to go home to my family and just not gamble. I just couldn’t do it. It ruined everything and took everything I had. After a lot of hard work I accept that gambling has me beat. Every time, so I don’t try and fight it anymore. I don’t try to beat it and I don’t try to win. I cannot win for two reasons. One, the addiction will outlast me financially and mentally as once I start I have no control. The second reason I cannot win is I do not place the first bet. I don’t try to win. Just for today I do not and will not place a bet. 
That’s it.

Unless you change something in your mind or in your behaviour or in your actions, you will end up back here saying the same thing. 
Do something different today and see if that’s helps you, then come back on here and tell us what you did.

Chris.

Since this post at the beginning of August I been in a constant cycle to the point it's become my full time job to be gambling. Been gambling more than I ever have. Up down up down up down. And now I've lost everything I feel a relief. I have finally accepted I cannot beat them. Tommorow will be day 1 as I have gambled today and lost but when I lost i felt something lifted of my shoulder. All these big companies have one thing in common and that is to extort people.

@thisisruiningmylife try not to get caught up with blaming gambling companies for your problems. You’ll just feel bitter and resentful, both emotions which will stop you from being able to move on with your life.

Gambling isn’t the problem, you are. 95% or so of the population who gamble don’t have a problem like you do. The same for pubs and off licenses and supermarkets aren’t pushing people to drink too much, the same as greggs or takeaways aren’t responsible for people over eating and getting obese.

You are the problem. I am the problem. When I cannot deal with what life throws at me I escape into my gambling bubble because it’s safe. I don’t have to deal with anything. Unfortunately gambling makes things worse because I cannot stop therefore I cause more problems than before. My other problems are still there as well.

Once I put gambling down, which I could only do when everything had gone, I go to Gambler’s Anonymous and start getting time away from my last bet. Later, I start to learn how to react to life’s problems in a different way than before. Slowly I start to change my character and although I am the problem still, I deal with whatever is making me feel a certain way.

This takes work though. I say there’s no easy way but in some respect there is. By attending GA once a week for 2 hours, I am able to go a week without betting. That seems fairly easy. Obviously it takes time to work on myself and I help others but what’s 2 hours a week? Nothing compared to how long I would gamble.

I’ve said it to you before about change. I hope you realise there is a way out of this mess but you need to do something different and now you come back here because everything has gone might drive you to find a GA meeting. Or something else. 
Good luck.

Chris.

Relapsed today I think I'm at rock bottom now this is insane 

Lived on £10 a day for food for the past 2 weeks and now i just got paid silly me just done £500 trying to chase the jackpot its impossible. I sold my smartphone to survive now, was meant to buy one today but ive squandered the money within 2 hours of being paid. lucky i still got my chromebook to do banking and stuff. i feel so numb now like ive just accepted the loss. ive got used to loosing. feel strange.

@thisisruiningmylife I’ve written and deleted this about four times now, but each time I read it back it just sounds harsh.

I’m just going to say this. Do something different from what you’re doing, which actually sounds like nothing.

Go to a GA meeting and ask for help!

Chris.

@chris-uk I am on here for others to read my story the truth is GA, counselling and all these things dont work.  Ive tried it all. I simply post here to blog my own story so others know its not just them. people like you are here to advocate there services that do not work. Most people on this site who post in such manner "Go to GA" are not true gambling "addicts" but are here to promote GA services. i know the game.