this will never end

It will end eventually.. What is worse is that I have people who can help me by being guarantors and I have told them everything, what I owe and I've told them that they can control my money but they won't help 'because I... I just don't feel like it' which I understand it's up to them.. But just frustrating knowing they could solve everything

Everyone in my life is the same darYl. Iv spent this afternoon at the local hospital speaking to a crisis person attached to mental healTh.

Iv finally lost the plot. I don't want to live anymore.

I know things must be really hard right now but perhaps try and see it as an opportunity. As a time when you've hit your bottom and can start completely new. The financial situation will hopefully sort itself out and leave you with a clear path going forward.

Everything is worth living for even if times are hard.. Few month ago I was really down and depressed and would worry every night about where I can pay my next bill from and I'd think like you, I don't believe in God but I thought why not just pray for something to cheer me up..

Probably just a coincidence but the next day my brother rang me to tell me I had a little niece on the way and it changed my whole outlook..

Think positive, take each day as it comes and your get there

Hi newname

Haven't been here for a while. Lousy internet connection (Typical here in OZ), and a dead PC 🙁

I was having a chat with my brother this afternoon, and we ended up having a heart to heart chat re my gambling days. He said that the worst thing I did was not the fact that I was deceiving and lying to everyone, or the fact that I stole from my sister... the worst thing I ever did was that I attempted suicide.

I put the family thru hell. I had not considered any impact on my family. It was all me, me, me.

I thought my debts were insurmountable. I was wrong. Truth is, I couldn't be bothered to work out if there was any way that I could recover from the mess that I was in.

Any financial mess that you are in at the moment can be sorted out. You can have a reasonably happy life. I have seen many cases of people with debts that they have accumulated thru their gambling enjoying life.

You have to confront your problems. Face them square on. If you don't think that you can do it yourself, then there is help available to you.I know there is a debt management agency in the UK that can help you.

Don't throw in the towel. We care. 🙂

Thanku for Ur comments it means aLot when I feel this low. We've spoken b4 wal about my homelife and how nobody cares anymore. Iv just lost one of my jobs since this post and still have to put money back. Nobody will help. It's not the financial mess making me feel this way, it's the fact I can't cope with people thinking bad of me and knowing what I have done. I Googled looking for help. I rang the samaratins and a little old lady answered who patronised me and didn't understand at all. So I walked into a and e and was told there was a 5 hour wait to see sum1. I wanted to be sectioned to prevent me taking the pills. They rang a crisis person while I was there knowing I was leaving and they rang me on my mobile. She promised me some help and has faxed my gp. I just don't know what to do. Everyone wants a piece of me I just don't have. My nerves are shot to bits and I don't know where to turn. Life is s**t snd it's all my own fault. X

Thankyou so much David for your post. Your right that it is friends and family that I owe as well as 400 to my now ex employer.
My family know of my problems. Theyv washed their hands of Me. Many of them are capable of lending me the money or guarantoring me a loan but won't. I'm living in the same house as my kids dad but we arent a couple. He's loving that everyone knows and is goading me to suicide. I have nowhere to go and not a penny to my name. The house and car r both in his name so no options there. I can't see anyway out of this mess. I need a lender even a loan shark but everyone will jump on this saying that's not the answe, Well then tell me wot is? They won't leave me alone until it's paid. I am ruined x

Thanku David. I really am lost. How can my family and him see me suffer like this. Nobody understands and I'm so bad for putting them through This. Nobody has offered a solution. They can help financially but won't. They don't think that's the answer but it is. I can't live knowing I owe money to people I can't pay. I don't care about creditors it's friends. I can afford a loan but can't get one. I have nothing left to sell. I'm not mentally stable And I took some pills Earlier. Not enough for them to work as my kids r in the house. He saw me and actually laughed. I need out of this. I need my mam and I lost her to cancer. I wish I had it too and could be gone x

Hi newname

I am one of those who are going to jump on board in saying that getting a loan is not the answer. Sorry 🙂

Work out your budget. What you have left over is what you can afford to pay back. No more. If it takes you 1 year,2 or 5 years. I understand that they want what they are owed now, and that you would like to pay them now. Fact is, you can't afford to. Pay back what you can in weekly or monthly payments. You will be surprised at how quickly you start to feel about good about yourself, knowing that you are doing the best that you can, given the circumstances.

Take care

Hi newname

Like wal1957 and others, I am also one of those who is going to say borrowing more is not the answer. You ask what is? Well, again as wal1957 and others have said, you can only pay back what you can afford, however long it takes. You don't say what happened on Saturday night that was 'the final straw'. But you know you need to stop gambling so that you have the money you need to pay your creditors something, however little, and begin to rebuild their trust.

You've previously said you don't feel able to go to counselling because you couldn't face saying what's happened 'out loud'. Do you feel the same way about attending Gamblers Anonymous? Both would give you a space to get support from people who would care, not judge. Could that be worse than continuing to struggle from crisis to crisis because you feel unable to stop gambling?

It's good that you are going to be getting support from the mental health crisis team. It may take a little while for the wheels to start turning but you need to get support for your suicidal feelings, and it is vital that you get support for the gambling. If you're feeling suicidal because you owe money because you gamble, more borrowing would get you out of the crisis for now, but would you continue to gamble and make the situation worse?

As we've said before, we care about you on this forum. You've got lots of options and information to start to make progress on your gambling and your relationship with your partner. Please don't stop trying.

Best wishes

Deirdre

Forum Admin.

thanku for your support e1. iv had a call from gordon moody this morn and i have a telephne appt 2morro to hopefully get me into rehab. the tablets i took yesterday have left me feeling ill today. im no better mentally but im still here. in answer to your question admin i kno i wud keep gambing as it stands and thats wot scares me. i need help. my fear is even gettin help and being pressured for money i know i will fail x

thanku for your support e1. iv had a call from gordon moody this morn and i have a telephne appt 2morro to hopefully get me into rehab. the tablets i took yesterday have left me feeling ill today. im no better mentally but im still here. in answer to your question admin i kno i wud keep gambing as it stands and thats wot scares me. i need help. my fear is even gettin help and being pressured for money i know i will fail x

newname,

If you've taken tablets it is vital that you get yourself to the doctor or to A&E to be checked out. Even though you're still here, whatever you've taken could have done you some damage so get yourself checked out, please.

Best wishes

Deirdre

Forum Admin

Hi New Name

In one of your earlier posts you wrote..."It's not the financial mess making me feel this way, it's the fact I can't cope with people thinking bad of me and knowing what I have done."

The only way that you are going to start to feel better about yourself is if you are attempting to resolve your problems.Gambling is the cause of all the problems you are in now. You feel judged by your family ( and you may well be), I know this can be very hurtful to you. Our self esteem takes a nosedive when we gamble. We tell ourselves to stop, continue to gamble, borrow more money, promise ourselves that this time we will stop, continue to gamble 🙁 It's a vicious cycle that will repeat itself, I've been there and done that.

As you have said, if you are able to borrow more money, the likelihood is that you will gamble. This is not the outcome that you want to achieve. The only way to rid yourself of your debts is to pay them back as you can. Don't try to pay back too much too quickly. Pay just as much as you can reasonably afford. As I have said previously, you will soon realise that you you are doing the best that you can under the circumstances. and you will start to feel a little happier about yourself. It will take some time, but it will happen. 🙂

Take care