Fortunately and unfortunately left to my own devices I am inclined to sabotage everything. I have a decease that wants to kill me and it is in my head so I have guard against that Sometimes it overwhelms me and sometimes it is a tool that gets me on stage to do the job that I do and sometimes I live in bliss and its wonderful but most of the time I am a human trying to live with the trials and tribulations that go on between my ears.
Â
Robbie Williams 60 mins Australia
Hi
For me going to my addictions indicates that I was reacting in unhealthy ways to people life and situations.
Every time I went to gambling, I was running away from myself.
Every time I went to gambling, I was making my life more painful.
I am a non-religious person and for me the recovery program means healing.
Yet I am not able to heal if I am not willing to admit to myself what I am doing to my self is painful.
You will often hear the wording that gambling is a big buzz.
Now in time I knew that the pains in my life caused fears in me that I did not understand.
Only when I admit to myself that I am being unhealthy can I make changes to my life.
To understand each one of my emotional triggers.
Even once I was abstaining did I *** how many fears I had with in me.
Reading text in books was never the answer for me.
When I am vulnerable understand why and change my unhealthy reactions to healthy interactions.
For me the recovery is a slow healing process.
I went through many pains in my life I even tried to take my own life as a teenager.
As I open up more in therapies I expose more of my self.
In time I would get to understand that I was not I was evil I was stupid, I was just emotionally vulnerable.
My fears and procrastinating stunted my spiritual growth.
In time I went to meetings for myself.
In time I learned to heal my pains.
In time I learned to love myself.
In time learned to respect myself.
Today I do not want to live in fear.
Today I do not want to gamble I make things worse in my life when I do.
If a boss was to ask me to work a whole month without pay what would be m answer.
Yet I would work for a month and then in a day give it away to complete strangers while I and my family went without.
Recovery became a life saver for me.
Recovery became more than a life saver for me.
It empowered me to become so healthy I looked forward to living my life to the full.
To stop reacting in such unhealthy ways and start to interact in very healthy ways.
Love and peace to everyone.
Dave L
AKA Dave of Beckenham
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
