Fortunately and unfortunately left to my own devices I am inclined to sabotage everything. I have a decease that wants to kill me and it is in my head so I have guard against that Sometimes it overwhelms me and sometimes it is a tool that gets me on stage to do the job that I do and sometimes I live in bliss and its wonderful but most of the time I am a human trying to live with the trials and tribulations that go on between my ears.
Robbie Williams 60 mins Australia
Hi
For me going to my addictions indicates that I was reacting in unhealthy ways to people life and situations.
Every time I went to gambling, I was running away from myself.
Every time I went to gambling, I was making my life more painful.
I am a non-religious person and for me the recovery program means healing.
Yet I am not able to heal if I am not willing to admit to myself what I am doing to my self is painful.
You will often hear the wording that gambling is a big buzz.
Now in time I knew that the pains in my life caused fears in me that I did not understand.
Only when I admit to myself that I am being unhealthy can I make changes to my life.
To understand each one of my emotional triggers.
Even once I was abstaining did I *** how many fears I had with in me.
Reading text in books was never the answer for me.
When I am vulnerable understand why and change my unhealthy reactions to healthy interactions.
For me the recovery is a slow healing process.
I went through many pains in my life I even tried to take my own life as a teenager.
As I open up more in therapies I expose more of my self.
In time I would get to understand that I was not I was evil I was stupid, I was just emotionally vulnerable.
My fears and procrastinating stunted my spiritual growth.
In time I went to meetings for myself.
In time I learned to heal my pains.
In time I learned to love myself.
In time learned to respect myself.
Today I do not want to live in fear.
Today I do not want to gamble I make things worse in my life when I do.
If a boss was to ask me to work a whole month without pay what would be m answer.
Yet I would work for a month and then in a day give it away to complete strangers while I and my family went without.
Recovery became a life saver for me.
Recovery became more than a life saver for me.
It empowered me to become so healthy I looked forward to living my life to the full.
To stop reacting in such unhealthy ways and start to interact in very healthy ways.
Love and peace to everyone.
Dave L
AKA Dave of Beckenham
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