It's funny, in the two years that I didn't gamble after a ВЈ2,500 loss, I was able to walk away wounded and not think too much about chasing the losses. But recently, having gambled a bit over a fortnight and managed to win back £595, it's been on my mind all the time since I stopped last week. It's almost as though I'm determined to lose it.
I think this describes my past experiences and gambling type. I win, then lose it, then successfullt chase the loss, then lose it, then successfully chase the loss, then lose big time and then walk away. I'm at my most vulnerable right now, having "successfully chased" some of the loss.
I'm trying to figure out, then why I turned to gambling again a fortnight ago. I was on leave from work for two weeks and at home all day, and I am a computer addict. But I've had period of leave before and never even thought about logging on. In fact, I could barely remember my old login details.
Curious. It's as though I'm not believing the money is mine, as though the winnings are there to put back in in the hope of something bigger.
Just needed to write this because I feel vulnerable. And tired as well. Even just the thought of gambling can be exhaustive mentally.
Hi not_happy, I am not sure reading your post if your in a situation where you have stopped and have access still to online gambling.
If you have done the following then skip this next paragraph!
The first practical step you can take right now today, is get Gamblock installed, or Gamstop (which is free) so if you own more than one computer then its ideal as you can install it on all of them for free.
You maybe thinking well the downside to this is, you will never be able to chase those losses. That's the whole point! (well not online at least)
If you really and truly want to stop then there is not one single reason stopping you installing these now.
(Before Gamstop was out the common excuse was "oh but I have to pay for it" or "yes I will look into it"
This is exactly the same mentality as a smoker saying in November I will stop once Christmas is out the way or in the New year I will stop. It really is a case of tomorrow never comes. Of course with gambling the real reason is because we are hoping by delaying something we know we should do, we are hoping that in the meantime we can get a big win, so we can avoid doing something we should do, so we hope we will not have to!
I'm at my most vulnerable right now, having "successfully chased" some of the loss.
This typifies the mindset of us problem gamblers, we regard getting a % of our losses back as a success. We can spend years or even decades just to try and break even, ask a gambler whose lost 20k and he'd be ecstatic at winning 5k back.
Ask a non gambler with 20k and he would be mortified at losing 15k in non gambling ventures.
Goodluck
Mike
i will take this practical step, starting with the free one, but i do have to wait because i'm waiting for funds to transfer from one site to my credit card account. as soon as the funds have gone into my account, i will self-exclude from the on-line site and install the blocking software.
thanks for the tips. as i say, i think i'm at a bad stage where i'm thinking irrationally that i can continue to chase successfully.
the last time i gambled was last Wednesday i think, and nearly went from +595 to -1400. sometimes i wish i would just lose big time and be done with it. i am at risk because when i'm gambling and the number isn;t coming up, i do get reckless like this.
hanging on....
hi not happy
I know i am a new user here but i am a experienced compulsive gambler. It would seem that you are putting off stopping. Sounds familar waiting for the big one chasing the losses. One of the last toimes i gambled i actually ended up being up on what i had lost. I had virually won back all of my money i had used on my credit card. i felt good. Then i thought just a few more punds won and i would have the card paid off. Only it didnt work like that i lost big tiem ended up maxing out the card and feeling throughly disappointed and disgusted with myself. As for the site paying yo out. Call them and tell them that you want to close the account and no longer want to play because you are addicted to gambling. They will still pay you what you are owed yo do not need to keep the account open for that to happen.
I called or sent emails to all the accoutns i had open they are all now closed and blocked so i can no longer play. Online gambling was my biggest vice with bingo a close sencond although i only went once a week i would spend loads on the fruit machine. I enjoyed bngo for the socialisation of it but gotinto feeding slots so i cant be trusted to just go to bingo and not play the machines. One day i may be able to but i will not go until i can sit play bingo and then go home like i used to before i got into gambling again.
So come on not happy close the accounts and become free once and for all whilst you still have some money and just think 595 is 595 paid off what you owe.
good luck
mandylou
Hi mate
You are in a nasty no mans land there mate.You know you have wons some back and the head is saying"you can win it all back"...if you were to win 5 grand you know in your heart that money is only a loan.you and they know that you will give them it back and the rest.We want 5 grand to be 10 grand etc etc etc,,,it doesnt not work mate.Stop gambling/get help/change for the better/
MJC
mandyloui5 wrote: hi not happy
I know i am a new user here but i am a experienced compulsive gambler. It would seem that you are putting off stopping. Sounds familar waiting for the big one chasing the losses. One of the last toimes i gambled i actually ended up being up on what i had lost. I had virually won back all of my money i had used on my credit card. i felt good. Then i thought just a few more punds won and i would have the card paid off. Only it didnt work like that i lost big tiem ended up maxing out the card and feeling throughly disappointed and disgusted with myself. As for the site paying yo out. Call them and tell them that you want to close the account and no longer want to play because you are addicted to gambling. They will still pay you what you are owed yo do not need to keep the account open for that to happen.I called or sent emails to all the accoutns i had open they are all now closed and blocked so i can no longer play. Online gambling was my biggest vice with bingo a close sencond although i only went once a week i would spend loads on the fruit machine. I enjoyed bngo for the socialisation of it but gotinto feeding slots so i cant be trusted to just go to bingo and not play the machines. One day i may be able to but i will not go until i can sit play bingo and then go home like i used to before i got into gambling again.
So come on not happy close the accounts and become free once and for all whilst you still have some money and just think 595 is 595 paid off what you owe.
good luck
mandylou
Mumfordeano wrote: how do I find out my username and password ?
[quote=mandyloui5]hi not happy
I know i am a new user here but i am a experienced compulsive gambler. It would seem that you are putting off stopping. Sounds familar waiting for the big one chasing the losses. One of the last toimes i gambled i actually ended up being up on what i had lost. I had virually won back all of my money i had used on my credit card. i felt good. Then i thought just a few more punds won and i would have the card paid off. Only it didnt work like that i lost big tiem ended up maxing out the card and feeling throughly disappointed and disgusted with myself. As for the site paying yo out. Call them and tell them that you want to close the account and no longer want to play because you are addicted to gambling. They will still pay you what you are owed yo do not need to keep the account open for that to happen.I called or sent emails to all the accoutns i had open they are all now closed and blocked so i can no longer play. Online gambling was my biggest vice with bingo a close sencond although i only went once a week i would spend loads on the fruit machine. I enjoyed bngo for the socialisation of it but gotinto feeding slots so i cant be trusted to just go to bingo and not play the machines. One day i may be able to but i will not go until i can sit play bingo and then go home like i used to before i got into gambling again.
So come on not happy close the accounts and become free once and for all whilst you still have some money and just think 595 is 595 paid off what you owe.
good luck
mandylou
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