100 Days from now - please please help me get there

Welcome mate. You have many friends on here. We are all in the same boat. 141 days ago was my day 0. It’s was a busy day. It’s the day you set you recovery in process. This is what I did:

Gamban and Gamstop installed on all devices (block from bookies if that’s your thing)

Set up a new bank account with bank blocks for gambling (Monzo)

Went through all my finances. Incomings, outgoings, and total debt. 

Contacted Stepchange to sort out my debts.

Researched GA near me and found a date I could attend. 

Came clean to 1 persons. The weight off my shoulders was huge.

Spent hours on here reading everything, and then contacted GamCare for a call back.

Joined the Chatroom on here and started a diary.

Day 0 is the best time you do this all. It’s a busy day but you are at your most motivated. There are other things you can do and you will get advice on here and from GamCare. Most important thing is to take this head on with aggression. No half measures. I gambled for decades and didn’t think I’d ever get this far but 141 days later, I’m such a different person, you can be too.

Wishing you all the best. 

Stay strong 💪 

106 days ago I was in sane boat . After my years trying to get off the gambling misery train , going round and round . I feel amazing right now. Once you get help and stop your social life be better . 

Good evening, friend. You’ve already done a great job by posting and asking for help. I hope that what I share here will be somewhat helpful for your recovery and may increase your chances of success, even if only by a small percentage. You seem perplexed by what’s happening now, but perhaps tomorrow, when you read this, you’ll be in a more peaceful state of mind.

First off, the best thing you can do now is to reflect on your previous experiences with quitting gambling. What went wrong, and is there anything from that experience that might be useful to you now? Gambling support resources typically recommend similar strategies and offer similar advice. Did you neglect any of the recommended steps, like not installing gambling-blocking software because you believed your willpower would be enough? What exactly do you think went wrong? If you can identify these points, try to address them more deliberately this time. If your previous attempts at quitting were unsuccessful, this time requires more courage and determination.

I see recovery as having two parts. The first involves specific actions to separate yourself from anything connected to gambling. The second focuses more on building your character and living each day with purpose.

Weirdfish got straight to the point mentioning all the practical steps you can take to create a comfortable position where there’s a barrier between you and the ability to gamble. Installing software, setting up banking controls—please make an effort to do all of this. It’s the cornerstone that can help you reach 100 days gambling-free because, no matter how strong you are, willpower alone won’t be enough.

I also recommend reaching out to a counselor via the live chat here or through a phone call. They can help you set everything up correctly and might offer more comprehensive advice on practical steps you can take right now. You can also share your story with them and ask for guidance; this will help release some of the tension inside you.

By the way, if you’re feeling extremely frustrated, allow yourself to release those emotions. Cry, shout—whatever works for you. After cleansing your spirit, you’ll be more ready for action.

Now, the second part of recovery, which is more mental and spiritual:

Can you articulate your purpose in life? How do you see your life a year from now if you don’t gamble for the entire year? What about 10 years from now? What is most important to you? What do you see as the most meaningful? Are you able to identify a purpose that drives you? Not long ago, I took a course on Coursera ([ https://www.coursera.org/learn/finding-purpose-and-meaning-in-life ]( https://www.coursera.org/learn/finding-purpose-and-meaning-in-life)) that helps with formulating your purpose. It’s just a few hours of video and some time for reflection.

You must have hope as well. Hopelessness won’t help you reach your goal. You need to believe that everything can be alright and believe that you can make it so.

Reading posts here can be incredibly helpful. You can literally read diaries that people started 15 years ago—thousands of stories. Many of them have happy endings. A lot of the experiences you’ve felt but never articulated have been expressed by others on this forum.

For me, keeping my own diary has been crucial in maintaining a gambling-free life. I was at low points, and this forum, along with the sense of accountability I created for myself, didn’t let me fail. I didn’t want to abandon my diary.

It’s sad that you don’t have close friends, mate—neither do I. Does that make us horrible people? Hell no. It’s just where we are in life right now. Gambling has played a big role in this isolation, and it’s yet another reason and motivation to never gamble again and give yourself a chance for a more meaningful and colorful life. Have you had friends in the last 20 years? I think you have, and that means you’re a totally normal person who can have friends. For now, you can find a temporary solution, like this forum, online communities, or even getting a pet to feel some mutual love and warmth.

I've been writing for so long that I forgot what I wanted to say. Just be strong, mate. 100 days gambling-free is great, but start smaller—take it one day at a time and aim for 5 days first. Tackle this challenge in small chunks.

Stay strong and carry on, man. Everything can be alright.

We can do this!  One week gamble free and I feel amazing. Keep going we r all in this together 🙏🏼

These are all wonderful advice and thank you for everyone writing with time and love to help me.

Today is day 1. I have been on day 1 dozens if not hundreds of times before, so I know the monotony of day 1. My mood is sad and energy is low. I have little motivation. I know it will get better.

The points about changing lifestyle is important. 

What makes me sad, thinking about it historically, is never being able to make and maintain a friendship, at all, throughout my childhood, school life, university, marriage and career.

I'm highly successful in many ways, I have a large family, many have helped during many relapses, but there's no friends throughout my life. A wife and kid but not friendship. I don't know if that makes sense.

And certainly not in relation to gambling. My ability to open up, be vulnerable, is limited. I care for others and don't want to hurt. I end up hurting myself.

I'm rambling. Thanks for the kind words.

You are you! Amazing, talented and confident to realise that friendship is just but a metaphor. We make our lives what they are, and life is for the ‘Go Get’! 
i had such a low moody yesterday, i got paid and didn’t spend money on my wired gambling habit! Instead I took my daughter to watch a movie and dinner. All night my heart was beating and i watched Netflix until i slept. Today I feel so good, 7 days gamble free and already I know I have turned a corner. I have tried to stop many times before but this time I am determined, only because I come onto the forum and keep reading stories and realise this is a mental illness (gambling). I haven’t been well for a long time but know I am going to make myself better… beat this addiction left right and centre. Let’s keep going, and we will overcome this. We are all in this together and nobody is alone, I promise. Reach out and ask for help 🙏🏼🤺🙏🏼

Thank you Hali and well done getting to day 7. I'm on day 1 and today just filled with so much sadness. Hiding it well. Taking my son out for ice cream now. That should pass a few hours. 

I feel in this weird trance of regret, and just acceptance of this terrible situation. Nothing can change it but I don't want to be here. I don't want this journey ahead of recovery, I really don't. I don't want to be on my own. I feel so lonely. 

Last night I fell asleep to netflix on the sofa too. What did u watch?

day 1.5, having some serious temptations to gamble again, managed to avoid thus far, thank god, going to sleep, so drained and forlorn.

i need a guardian angel, or a miracle, to live my life.

you are doing so well, this is the hardest part! We are facing it together.. be strong Jbug, what you are experiencing is what we are all dealing with. Today, I have been keeping myself very busy and went for a long walk and cleaned the whole house and loads of washing to do.. the key is to keep busy, and think of this as the biggest battle of our life! 
BTW I’m watching ‘Maid’ on Netflix.. love it. Also my genre is , horror, suspense and thrillers. What are you watching? 
keep up the good work, let’s take everyday as it comes. 🤺🤺🌅

Btw the best feeling is when you are present in the moment with your kid/kids.. the love they give to us is something else. We are blessed to have  kids, they are our guardians and angels..  let’s do this for them, and don’t look back, you will fall! Look ahead and the future is amazing. 

@8vfky5wa6m Day 2 woke up with extreme sadness, it seems as soon as you open your eyes there is just a giant weight on you, dreading the day ahead.

Your post cheered me up and you are right that your children are your angels to get you out of this, all they want is your simple attention. There is a guilt, when he was first born I thought he would be my inspiration to beat gambling and yet 5 years on, I'm still a mess, have relapsed dozens of times just during his lifetime (let alone the 20 years before) and financially compromised his future. So yes, you are right, he is probably the key to my potential success, I just have to wipe off the 5 years and start again with his presence. I haven't been a bad dad, by all other metrics a good one, just one that self destructs regularly.

I also like horror and suspense, but  I don't like watching horror on my own. Wife and I no longer watch shows together and she never liked horror. I might give Maid a try, thanks for the recommendation. I usually end up settling for true crime documentaries lately.

We all feel the burden when we wake up, the first thing you feel is the anxiety taking hold. Allow it to pass. What has helped me is that I have wrote down everything that is positive about my life and I keep referring to that every time I feel negative  anxiety. Well done, for day 2!! This could be be day 200 carry on this way. You have tackled the difficult part. Remember money that you’ve lost wasn’t meant for you, but what is meant for you, only you can bring it to fruition! We can do this. Have a good day, let’s live in the moment and be present. We are worth it 

@jbug81

The anxiety and sadness you fell now will soon pass. Once you start seeing the benefits of not gambling, you will start to enjoy life. It's at these times when you will look back and think 'What was I doing?!'. This can also be a dangerous time, as you think you've beat this addiction. As long as you keep focused, keep the blocks in place, you will get through this.

Now forget the past. You cant change it. You can only change the future, and that should be a future filled with family and happiness. That should be your focus now, and your reason to wake up happy.

@8vfky5wa6m

Great advice. Staying positive is hard sometimes, but drawing a line under the past and focusing on the future is a great way of doing this. My diary goes from very negative to being positive quite quickly. I realised that I was beat. Gambling took everything away from me. The day I admitted that, was the day I looked to the future. One without gambling. The sense of freedom I feel now is incredible.

Keep fighting, and stay strong 👍 

"It's at these times when you will look back and think 'What was I doing?!'. This can also be a dangerous time" 

Yes you are right, I have been in the "what was I doing?" Multiple times and also aware throughout the "what was I doing" period that it's a dangerous moment and that I was at risk.

And even having that Insight, and aware of dangers, and having blocks, I still end up flat on my face.

In scared of recovering to feeling normal again. Extremely scared.