1st steps

16 weeks to the day. Really made a great turn around in my life and I am realising day by day how good life is without a demon. One day at a time. For today I won't gamble and I will keep smiling. 🙂

Not alot I can add just keep it up.

Not wishing to be condescending but you're a model example so far on how to beat this evil. Just keep focussed and never under-estimate complacency. It is a lifetime job.

Man City you are so right in that it is a lifetime job, keeping it at bay. My hope is that the habit becomes not gambling, rather than gambling. He has done so well this far and I for one, will never become complacent - it is always only one gamble away from sliding back down. I think he knows that too and has taken all the steps that are right for him. It cannot be easy to have me looking over his financial transactions every day just to make sure - and holding his cards so that he absolutely cannot access cash without me knowing. That openness and honesty is new - and so refreshing. For the first time ever in his working life, he has money left in his bank the day before pay day! I thank God every day that he will now have a better life. Well done so far son! xxx

Yep it is a lifetime job , two cases to consider, both people I know.

A lady in her thirties schoolmistress to boot did not gamble for six years paid her credit cards off then two weeks ago went online and lost a months wages in four hours. The following day was a Saturday and while her husband was playing golf she maxed out two credit cards ( his and all) from scratch to £7,400 and £6,500 respectively. As of yesterday she had not told him and is waiting for the bills to come through. Basically six years work down the pan for a few moments of madness.

I personally have done worse over the same time period in terms of money lost.

I like her pretended all was ok when my wife came home as did she when he returned from golf. She made the tea , watched tv then went to bed.

The other individual was a man who went 19 years without a bet until Thursday of last week , he is now back on it full time. He has had three days off work this week to ' have it on' so to speak.

It's always there, just control it as if your life depends on it as in a way it does.

Take Care

Hi Man City

That was a sobering message, which made me stop and think about it all. I suppose in the end it is like any other addiction. It is always there but you learn to control it. My only hope is that, in this new found honest approach, he will tell me if he succumbs to gambling again. I really do not feel equipped to deal with any more big shocks. That may sound selfish but this has taken its toll of me in many ways and at 54, I feel I want some stress free time, surely after a lifetime of working and bringing up children that is not too much to ask? I suppose part of me deep down still feels that it is a choice and a selfish choice at that. A bit like always putting yourself and your needs first. Stopping gambling requires growing up and taking responsibility and thinking about more than just your next bet. It isn't a physical addiction so I feel it is about being really strong minded - and only the individual can do that. Yes, help and support go a long way to helping but in the end, it is an individual choice. My feeling now is that we have all helped my son to stop - if he starts again that is his personal choice and he is allowed that, but then he will also have to take the consequences - change has to come from within and I am over the moon that so far he has stuck to his word and is doing so, so well. I know it is one day at a time and so far, every day has been good. Have a good Sunday.

Do not get me wrong , PSOWM is doing fantasically well in tackling this. I can vouch that this is an exgtremely difficult challenge. Probably the singlemost difficult thing ever asked of me. Giving up gambling is an excruciatingly painful task to face. Your son is doing so well and in so many ways you are right , there is little else you can do, between yourself and PSOWM and with this network all the barriers in place . add your son's new found strength and admirable attitude things will only get better for you both. My post about the two cases I know were purely to outline that us cg's are never 'cured' and never will be. I just wanted to share then so that we can all stay grounded. We stay on guard every minute of every day that does not mean we can't enjoy every minute of every day because at last we can......

Take Care

Well with my clear though path since not gambling here would be my spin on things. 2 people have "chosen" to fail. I am as stuborn as they come believe me. I will not be giving a penny to the bookmakers ever again or any other form of gambling for that matter. One small bet will lead to a bigger one etc etc. I know the game played it for too long and I'm now wise to it. If people genuinely want to give up then with a bit of help a lot of courage and a few relevant barriers it can be tamed. Understandably it won't go away and to think I could have a small bit would be ludicrous. I will abstain and that's how I will live. Taking it one day at a time. Honesty is the key and if I'm honest I have no reason to gamble. First bit of honesty is that we gamble to win money. I have my own money and can live within my means. Go out do what I want buy clothes etc. So no problems. When my debts are gone I will have even more so thus having no reason to gamble. Another way I look at it is if I had to take tablets everyday to ensure I don't lose my family, friends, girlfriend, self respect etc etc then there is no way I would miss taking the tablets. Gambling for me would lose all the above in one way or another. If it just be trust respect a relationship but add them all up and there is not much left. For today I will keep smiling stay gamble free and wish everybody well who is on the road to recovery !

17 weeks today. For today I won't gamble and I will keep smiling 🙂

Good Man

17 weeks - gosh that has flown by!! I feel that every day we are moving onto firmer ground and it is so pleasing to reflect on. No-one knows how proud I am, or how pleased that my son can at last have a life that he can relax and enjoy. The change in his pesonality is amazing. He is brighter, can concentrate, can hold a conversation without fear of lying, which makes him much nicer to talk to, and he is focusing on his job and succeeding there too. Whatever catalyst made him want to stop, I thank God for it every day. This forum has been so intrumental in the whole journey. I came here over a year ago and asked people what I should do. They advised me well and I urged him to join. He didn't - until he was ready 17 weeks ago! The ongoing support and reading everyone else's stories has helped us both. We know that we are fortunate. Yes, he still has debt to pay off but he is doing it bit by bit. Yes, he still has barriers in place and watchful eyes on him to make sure he doesn't slip - but he is doing it and doing it well. I have never seen him so determined. I log into his bank, I still hold his cards, I still ring him 3 or 4 times a day ..... just to check. But it is now more out of love and care than panic, I enjoy talking to him, seeing him, he is letting me into his life because he has nothing to hide any more - we are making up for lost time. He has been round to my house for more meals in the last 3 months than he has been in the last 10 years! I feel I can now rely on him - he drops me at the station, he picks me up if I work in town ..... Long may this situation continue. Let life throw the curved balls - I am confident he can deal with them all now. Thank you all and particularly Man City - your words from the very beginning have been so helpful. xx

19 weeks today still v strong resiliant and sticking to my principles... Been away for 2 weeks hence the reason no posts... Hope every1 is staying strong and for today I won't gamble!!!

It's amazed me how the hours turned into days and the days turned into weeks and now even months. What a life I am living without gambling. One day at a time works for me so for today I am going to smile and not gamble. 🙂

Great news

Keep working your recovery one day at a time. It does work if you work it. Keep posting and reading.

Steve E

20 weeks or 140 days however I look at it what an achievement. So proud of myself and I can't put into words the changes it has made in me and my life. Not only financially which is always a big one when gambling. I will continue on my happy path and leave the days of wondering where my money to get to work would come from, or how I was going to pay my bills but more importantly the loan shark. I will leave them days behind and look forward to my future being happy gamble free. For today I am going to smile and just not gamble.

With you all the way

Take care

Steve E