Hey all,
I'm 214 not out. I have struggled in this recovery. It's been a long hard uphill slog. Sometimes I have thought it's too hard and wanted to gamble. Other timesI have looked elsewhere for escape. I just read a moving account of gambling and that 97th minute penalty miss. That has been me so many times. I did all my money. The times when the opponent hit runner runner on the turn and river. The times when every bet i had lost and it felt like it was more just to twist my mind. The jockey that jumped off the horse in the final furlong when 3 lengths clear. All the times when I was 75% to win on a poker hand and lost. All the times when I was 25% to win on a poker hand and lost. Spending hours analysing my poker hands to prove how "unlucky I was". Wow. It all came flooding back.
The gambling addiction is still with me. 214 days don't count for much. It's great that somehow, I have been given the strength to abstain from gambling but I know it's always there waiting to mess up my life.
But for the grace of god.
I wish everyone struggling with this illness or whatever it is - the best of luck and strength to get through the day. ONE DAY AT A TIME.
I like reading posts like yours. It encourages me. I hope i will be hitting days like yours i am 77 days GF.
Thanks. If I can do it anyone can. I have been a chronic gambler for 30 years. Wanted to jump off a cliff because of my miserable gambling life. I've had so many attempts to stop gambling. This is my 2nd best one! I still get gambling urges but reading posts on this forum makes me remember.
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