3 Months Gamble free, struggling though. Telling your nearest about your problems?

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(@g3wv0xksbm)
Posts: 1
Topic starter
 

Hi Guys,

After a pretty horrific 18 months and one GA session, earlier this year i completely cut the chord with gambling. I had spoken to a shop worker about self exclusion in my local Will Hill in March and havent step foot in since, apart from to collect my cashed out winnings. Occasionally i think about redeeming the free bet offers i got given over email earlier this year and then remind myself it really is not worth it.

Anyway, im struggling financially, and mentally its a bit of a long road ahead. Whilst i am really glad i cut the tie with my gambling (and let me tell you, its a substantial amount i lost, a good 70 percent of my savings) I've had some bad luck with having to change car, fess up to my girlfriend about the extent of my losses and trying to make some extra buck on top of my fairly low salaried position, which has been tough. But that is life, and i have to accept where i'm at. The money i do have is tied away in bonds and i cannot access it, i live paycheque to paycheque and things arent cheap, especially in the summer when everything happens! This month im trying to nurse 250 pounds until Junes end,  including a euros trip with my mate and my 32nd birthday. Its really embarassing having to say to your pal 'ill pay you in a few weeks because i cannot justify it right now'.

I guess the hardest thing for me though is not being able to tell my single and widowed mother (whos nearly 70) about what has happened. Shes had a hard time with losing a partner last year and i think its the extra stress she doesnt need to hear. She doesnt know i had an addiction, and i think the shame would be horrendous of having to say. Im close to her yet i have this secret. Has anyone else had this situation, where they have a single parent who doesnt know, yet still gets overdraft notifications through on a shared bank account or equivalent and think they might be suspicious?

Would love to hear your thoughts!

This topic was modified 2 weeks ago by onwardsandupwards92
 
Posted : 10th June 2024 4:48 pm
cpparch
(@cpparch)
Posts: 140
 

Hi, 

A different situation but my husband and I had a joint account. He never was interested in the account, didn’t even have the banking app set up on his phone, but I’m telling you - he absolutely knew something was going on with me! I was constantly saying we couldn’t go here or go there, couldn’t buy this or that. He was earning a very good wage too! I constantly made up lies and excuses - cost of living, mortgage fixed rate ended, you name it! 

It’s a massive thing to admit you have a problem and open up. Do you think she’d be angry? She may well be upset but ultimately I think she’ll be proud and perhaps will try and help you? She may well have had a hard time and I’m sorry about that, but equally you are too. Gambling addiction is a serious illness, don’t brush it under the carpet. 

It was the hardest thing I ever had to do telling my husband (I racked up tens of thousands in debt and even took loans out in his name!) I wouldn’t be where I am today (321 days GF) if I had come clean and was completely honest. The gambling demons want you to keep secrets, they want you to lie, so they can keep you in their clutches! 

Wishing you all the luck 🍀 

 
Posted : 11th June 2024 9:58 am
Tazman
(@tazman)
Posts: 328
 

I am currently 336 days clean at the start of the addiction i did come clean and had many relapses on the way, she believes i am 11 years clean the last time i told her she fainted and i felt really awful she still brings up from time to time and doesnt understand addiction, honesty is key has long as you can be open about your addiction to a friend or family thats all that matters 

 
Posted : 11th June 2024 12:22 pm
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