Dan's Diary

3.94 days gamble free, just read a story on bbc website about another of us compulsive gamblers, another harrowing story but also another that offers hope to us all, as bad as things ever get, we all still have choices.

It doesn't always feel like that but we do.  Some choices are much much harder than others.  All choices have consequences.  I chose to make a different choice almost four years ago and my life is now so, so different.  I can breath again now.

I am a compulsive gambler, an addict but today I am choosing to not gamble.

Hi @compulsive-gambler,

I'm wondering if you made a typo on the number of gamble free days? Whatever the numbers, it's clear that your life has changed for the better over the last four years and we couldn't be happier for you. 

How are you getting on with the freemium golf game that you were starting to have concerns about in January? 

Keep posting 🙂

Deirdre
Forum Admin

oops, thanks yes I had meant to write years not days...

I still play the golf game, a few purchases but not too many now and currently my only 'vice' so I feel in control  and it's not causing any financial impact, it's just the principle and  I can certainly feel and recognise the link in mindset.

I read the article and I know of the person involved in the story.

My problem with it is it does the same thing that every article about gambling does. It's all about the money and the headline about so much gambled.

Like a lot of us he lost so much more than just money and although the story does go into some detail, I can't help but get annoyed at the headline.

There's so much more to talk about, suicidal thoughts, the mental stress of juggling all the lies, the physical stress of chasing it all the time, the loss of friends and family, relationships, jobs, possible police action, or coming out the other side and giving back and helping others.

In fact the headline should be "TRAGIC GAMBLER TURNS LIFE AROUND AND DOES GOOD DESPITE THE ODDS", excuse the pun.

Chris.

@chris-uk - I totally agree with you and I was pretty upset last night when I then saw another article on a Cheltenham festival gambler who requires one more win - not even a story about someone who won but focused purely on the glamour.

Nothing about how much money festivals, like Cheltenham, generate or 'win' from gamblers. It will be worse this year as rather than people being there and getting carried away with the cash in their pockets there will be millions of us gamblers sat at home placing bets on the racing and then opening up casino pages or slot machines or will start betting on a 7th division snail racing championship in some random location, purely because we can and sadly because we convince ourselves that we 'need' to, that we 'have' to  or even that we just want to as we 'enjoy it'

anyway, I just found it really really distasteful from the beeb!

onto another day now though and yes I remain an addicted gambler, I cannot win because I cannot stop but I don't need to stop if I do not start.  I lost, the bookies won, well done them, I am an addicted gambler but today I am choosing to not gamble.

Hi,

A fantastic story & a great achievement. A massive thanks for sharing your story.

Respect to You

Al

1484 days gamble free

still thoughts, still a need to make conscious choices but ultimately, I continue on my quest to remain gamble free, one day at a time

Yay, 1504 days gamble free, hope everyone is well.

Twenty years addicted, that's over 7000 days of gambling, still a long way to go to even it out but still I today I won.

Today I chose not to gamble

Well done!!!!! You have done amazingingly ?

Thank you

1530+ days, I am still an addicted gambler but just for today I will choose to not gamble

Well done on your continued recovery and progress 

Lou x

Thank you

1574 days gamble free now

Well done on 1574 days - that's amazing progress! Do keep posting and let us know how it feels to be gamble-free. How has your life changed? What do you find helps you?

Congratulations again and keep posting!

Deirdre
Forum Admin

ahhh, it's been a while but need a check in - 2053 days have lapsed since my last gamble - still have fleeting thoughts of returning and have to reset the mind everytime - just for today I will make a choice to not gamble

Felt the addiction resurfacing last night, semi-conscious thoughts of being able to play poker as that was never my problem addiction -it was though, it was part of the same addiction.  amazing and scary really that even after this period of total abstinence I can still get drawn back to the thoughts, just have to remind myself that I have a choice.

best wishes all

so I post my last message without checking in and I see it is almost 500 days since I last posted.

Diedre/ FA - thanks for the message.

Life has changed and is infinitely happier now than when gambling, I am now one of the more fortunate people in society, I have a mortgage and should be able to stay head above water through the next few years, even if it does mean life changes.

I am more positive and confident myself, work has gone well as I have been far less distracted.

I still have a lot of guilt and regret; I still dream a lot and still struggle at times to comprehend how different life could have been if I had never gambled or had I walked away when I had a big 'win' - reality is that the win wouldn't have even set me square over my life time but would have been a big bulk of money so now every bill, every discretionary purchase that I can't afford reminds me - I often find myself spending those 'winnings' mentally and life would be very different if I had made better choices

I have regret that my first diary was started 7 years before this one, that diary was over a few years in itself and I had others before hand.

I have health issues both directly and indirectly from gambling so heavily.  Overweight, bad teeth, bad relationships with food.

Do I want to gamble again though - absolutely not, despite the cons life is way way better than it was for 20 years.

If you are an addict then sorry for whatever reason we decide to make bad decisions when it comes to money the good news is, ultimately, we have a choice - even when we convince ourselves otherwise - we have a choice.  I'm Dan I've been an addicted gambler for more than 20 years but just for today I am making the choice to not gamble.