Dan's Diary

I don’t post very often either Dan but it’s good to see you. My husband is also over 2000 , not that I count anymore. I have no control over his actions.

I do miss my meeting which was abandoned over covid, attendance was never high. I am much more independent now, working which is good for me!

I think bad habits are always close by and we need to be cautious. Trying not to react to others is often difficult.

life is definitely much more enjoyable these days. 

7.5 years or 7.51 years...it's been a fair while since I last posted too.

i still have thoughts, not everyday and life is better without but I still have some thoughts

I have chosen that for today I will not gamble, it's all I can do

But I do have that choice and so I am choosing, just for today to not gamble

Another day, another choice being made to not gamble

2749, one at a time

2752

Why am I back on here more frequently?

Day dreaming about my future, a wish for more money and a wish that I didn't then think of gambling, I was dreaming of playing poker as I drifted off to sleep the other night, I definitely thought to myself I could do that.

I used to be ok at poker and enjoyed playing it, did ok online when I had time to focus on it, the problem was always I would play online slots or roulette at the same time, all control out of the window 

So I need to not play poker

I'm an addicted gambler, just for today I will choose to not gamble 

Feels quite cathartic to get that out of my scrambled brain

2754 days, one at a time

2760

The subconscious urge or demon is certainly quite quietening down again, 

I'm a compulsive gambler but just for today I will choose to not gamble

2,847 days.

One at a time.

3,106 days gamble free.

I'm a compulsive gambler but just for today I am choosing to not gamble 

3,106 days, feeling proud of that.

@compulsive-gambler mate that amazing i am on day 821 and life is totally different i dont get the thoughts of gambling but i am still trying to understand these urgues when they do come i realised money is always going to be a trigger and i am finding it difficult to adjust to this in terms of gambling i no longer have those urgues like before has i have lost the interest which i use to have has i realised i was lossing interest in gambling however i had the belief to make my losses back i no longer think like this i made this decision on day one and still hold this same belief what i am still struggling with my past concequences and why didnt i do it sooner i knew it was possible to beat this addiction around 2010 when i first went to Ga seeing people with results however what i have learnt now it alot harder then what i thought and i believed those people were mad coming to Ga after all those years now that i have been serious about quiting and doing everything neccessary not to gamble had i been advised about Gamcare i could have done this alot sooner as Ga wasent really working for me i wasent given any options or other methods i have learnt everything on here that made sense to me i no longer blame the addiction rather then excepted this as an illness and i need to keep getting treatment

3,250 days, 8.9years.

I'm still a compulsive gambler but just for today I will choose to not gamble

@tazman I'm so sorry I haven't seen your reply before, i don't have access the to email my account is linked to so never get any alerts but I really hope are still going strong, if so you must be close to the 1,000 barrier!

@compulsive-gambler yeah mate i am on day 964 mate

@tazman That's awesome to hear/read - fantastic choices Tazman 😊