Dan's Diary

I don’t post very often either Dan but it’s good to see you. My husband is also over 2000 , not that I count anymore. I have no control over his actions.

I do miss my meeting which was abandoned over covid, attendance was never high. I am much more independent now, working which is good for me!

I think bad habits are always close by and we need to be cautious. Trying not to react to others is often difficult.

life is definitely much more enjoyable these days. 

7.5 years or 7.51 years...it's been a fair while since I last posted too.

i still have thoughts, not everyday and life is better without but I still have some thoughts

I have chosen that for today I will not gamble, it's all I can do

But I do have that choice and so I am choosing, just for today to not gamble

Another day, another choice being made to not gamble

2749, one at a time

2752

Why am I back on here more frequently?

Day dreaming about my future, a wish for more money and a wish that I didn't then think of gambling, I was dreaming of playing poker as I drifted off to sleep the other night, I definitely thought to myself I could do that.

I used to be ok at poker and enjoyed playing it, did ok online when I had time to focus on it, the problem was always I would play online slots or roulette at the same time, all control out of the window 

So I need to not play poker

I'm an addicted gambler, just for today I will choose to not gamble 

Feels quite cathartic to get that out of my scrambled brain

2754 days, one at a time

2760

The subconscious urge or demon is certainly quite quietening down again, 

I'm a compulsive gambler but just for today I will choose to not gamble