Dan's Diary

160 days gamble free

a very special, precious moment overnight as we welcomed our third child into the world, a healthy, beautiful baby girl.

It is staggering and very hard to contemplate that I don't deserve to have been present. The biggest gamble I have ever taken is to choose lying to my loved ones. Whilst financially and mentally financial gambling has taken me to the edge of a cliff, I am probably one of the most fortunate people in the world, to have been there, together with my wife is an absolute privalige

I never want to be the person that gambles again and I never want to be the person that lies

Right now I am choosing life and I am choosing to not gamble, I shall continue doing this day by day and I am eternally grateful for the support that is out there, some wonderful, open, warm hearted and generous CG and the inspirational f&f that give so much insight and understanding to those of us that are fighting this horrid addiction.

A massive congratulations on your new bundle of joy...Welcome to the world little one 🙂

Another important reason never to go back to gambling ever again !

Huge Congratulations to you and your wife Dan on the arrival of your baby daughter :))

Alan's a name that spring's to mind but as it's a girl "Alana" it is then :)).

Stay safe buddy and enjoy the future :))

Congratulations on the birth of your beautiful daughter, such a precious time for you and your family.

Big congratulations also on 160 days without a bet, a good solid foundation for your gamble free future....stephen

Alan - hahaha - that made me laugh and you guessed the name correctly! (ok maybe not quite..)

Many thanks Alan, Abstainer and ODAAT for your messages, very humbled today and very appreciative of your comments

best wishes all

choose life, choose to not gamble

Hi CG,

Well done 162 days GF! That's not to be sniffed at, and also congrats on the birth of your daughter.

Not wanting to cause a conflict but I read your advice to Yellow bird and I thought it was a bit off. You said "you are going to need to prepare yourself for some drastic action, which ultimately may mean you leaving your husband." - with two young kids and without knowing the details of the relationship this is a very dangerous seed to sow.

I respect that everyone has their own opinion on all this but please bare in mind that these are people's lives and this kind of thing has serious repercussions.

Feel free to ignore me, and rest assured I am not looking for a big debate.

Cheers

IMM

Itmattersmore,

I totally get where you are coming from and did have to revisit my whole post after reading your comment, i think in the whole context it is blunt but fair. i think yellow needed a reality check - I certainly didnt suggest she should end the marriage and I hope she doesnt but with children involved Im scared for any cg, including myself. ive already changed the course of my childrens lives and not in a positive way, because of my choice to gamble. Once again I hope they can regain a positive marriage

fair challenge from you though

Congratulations on your new baby, I missed this earlier on in the week. My daughter was born 11:58 on the 12th September. My cg said 'I don't want her born on the 11th and Friday 13th is unlucky!' How the mind of a cg works? I hope she brings you both much joy.

many thanks MGR much appreciated! thankfully I didn't have any of those thoughts, weirdly though I did today think I could buy a scratchcard whilst getting shopping, I didn't and it was quickly banished from my mind but equally I hate the way that works, just from nowhere and for no justifiable reason

anyway another day of no gambling, tomorrow will be the same

165GF

Soon be changing the diary title to 200 day's gamble free Dan :))

Well done mate !!

thanks, as always Alan, very supportive!

just worked out I've paid just shy of £6k in bank charges in last 6 years... I dread to think what the previous circumstances were - i.e a LOT more!

a crazy, sad situation - if i add in the interest and charges paid elsewhere I've probably been spending 1/3 of my wage servicing debt for the last 20 years. add in the principle repayments and I would think it's more than 2/3 of my wage gone, so effectively I've contributed less than 1/3 of my wage to the family and thats probably being generous! throw in my essential costs, commuting/food and its no wonder i kept increasing the debt wherever i could, because i was too weak to tackle my addiction - what a waste of life - and not just mine!

day by day I need to continue reversing that trend

im an addicted gambler but today I will choose to not gamble

The happy person will still be inside you.

Thank you

Day 171

finding it harder to make time to post on here but I do try and read regularly - at least once or twice a day

some tough and challenging moments, marriage continues to be like a roller coaster but 5 couples within immediate social circles have split in last two weeks, it's quite a wide group and across a range of married/ engaged/ long term relationships but even so its been very sobering to witness and think it 'should be me' before any of those yet as I type I remain with a finger nail grip on my marriage and I'm trying to cling on. I guess without also being a doormat - some of the stuff being flung my way are just easy cheap shots but I have to suck those up where I can.

a c**P week of work ahead, really not looking foreward to it on any level but it's another week that we shall get through

still the total gambling abstinance continues, still I remain a big advocate of talking to loved ones and taking the hit that comes with that. This addiction is hard enough to tackle when it's open, let alone when we try and keep it hidden

starting to get replies on irresponsible lending complaints etc, not looking too hopeful as my wage good enough to warrant the borrowing but have had £100 refund offered and agreed - it's £100 I didn't have last week, £100 off the debt mountain, one more brick removed from the wall I need to take down and best of all it's £100 that I shall choose not to gamble

If any friends and family members happen across this can I just pay tribute. f&f updates are the first I look for, the ones I take most from and I think the most honest and raw - so thank you to any that post

also the regular contributors, Alan, Phil etc - it's inspiring to see how much times goes into your own recoveries and how generous you are in offering support to others, across the board

I'm Dan, I am an addicted gambler and have been for twenty years, today however I am choosing not to gamble

Hi dan, I try with every good intention not to fling insults at my cg. It doesn't help, doesn't make me happy or him. You and others are not bad people, you didn't intentionally go out to create a mountain of debt. There is a lot to be said in 'let it go' . We are here to be happy. Life has many obstacles to throw at us. I hope your wife gets support. We all deserve happiness.