Hi,
I have given myself a target of 90 days to change my life and subsequently saving my life! starting from the 05/03/2015.
As you can guess I am a compulsive gambler and have spent atleast 85% of ANY money that I have received in wages or loans on gambling within 2 days of receiving it! I won't go into much depth unless someone asks specific questions.
What
A complete lifestyle change which includes mini goals to achieve in 90 days.
Goal 1 - No gambling in no shape or form
Goal 2 - To lose 15kg (Currently 101kg)
Goal 3 - To retrieve the lost motviation and the person I used to be
Goal 4 - Spend money on myself
Goal 5 - To continue and complete my University course
Why
I have suffered from gambling for years! but for the last year I have literally lost my personality and character. This addiction is slowly eating away at who I used to be. That person used to be exretemely motivated and generally very happy, I currently have 10% motivation and currently wasting away in my body.
Nothing has seemed to work for me! (Counselling, GA, Online support, Self exclusion, Gamblock) This is the complete ultimatium. If I can manage 90 days and reach my goals I know somewhere in those 90 days my motivation will come back and finally get my life back on track
How
By recording my progess here and results!! and the enormous amounts of courage and determination. I wont post specifically and in detail here what I am going to DO but I will certainly inform on a day to day basis what I have been up to and of course if I made it to the next day or not!!!
When
For the duration of 90 days starting from the 05/03/2015. Today Is day 0 tomorrow is day 1. I will keep you updated hopefully every day, although posts wont be every day I will make sure I fill the information in for every day including my weight loss as and when it is measured!
This is the single most hardest challenge I will be doing in my life to date! and here is to Wednesday, 3 June 2015!!
See you tomorrow for day 1!!!!
Hi 90 days,
Welcome to recovery, you have come to the right place to help you abstain and maintain one day at a time.
You sound very determined and strong, so now it's time for you to embrace recovery, well done for coming here, it's very hard to admit to ourselves that we are addicted, but already with your determined post, the addiction will be hating that, so thst is a very big positive.
take one day at a time, keep posting and reading, and win one day at a time, it's your time now and you can do this.
best wishes Suzanne xx
Nice opening post - you've got some clear goals and if you stick to them it will change your life around. Just make sure you stick to them!
Day 1
Anxeity : 9/10
Motivation : 5/10
Diet : Oats with water this morning!!!! (so 10/10)
Ok so, today I have a court hearing for driving with no insurance..... Yes I gambled the insurance money. Will update later, could be massive relief and a massive step in the right way... OR knock me back a few! hoping for just 6 points.
To help to the anxiety I received some expected funds in my bank, but I will be strong and avoid gambling them!!
Will update later with court results 🙂
Hope it goes ok at court and very well done on getting through the first day,
Suzanne xx
So 6 points and a small fine!!! best case scenario! so happy happy
Also potential new work which could be worth alot of money!!
Body does not like the food change! all healthy food and now got the shakes !
Day 1 nearly complete!
Day 2.
We made day 1!!!! I even drove past a bookies with access to money!!
But I have woke up with a huge amount of anxiety!!!!! I really REALLY hope this gets easier!
Another healthy breakfast of oats with water..... body is going to have to learn to be healthy 🙂
Still need to join a local gym.. unsure of which. But going for a swim later.
I WILL beat day 2.
your not alone on your journey 90 days
well done for commiting
day 1
now day 2
Day 3
Very Very difficult day today. Working near a place I have gambled without fail every friday for the last few months, feel low and negative - also making me want to escape to gambling...!!
Managed to avoid all and ate healthy again..
Anxiety is very high =(
Keep going. Friday is hard especially after a couple of drinks and a routine of gambling. I am on day 2 again and there is definitely a void that I have to fill to get myself into the middle lane as others have called it. Yes I miss it because like any addiction there are highs to be had. I just try and recall the awful feeling gambling can give when all is lost. Keep strong.
Well done on remaining gambling free...it will get easier and your mind will clear.
As for the healthy eating maybe you should ease yourself into it. Sounds almost like starvation. Oats with semi skimmed milk with maybe some honey or some nice berries will make it more palatable ....you make it sound like someones holding a gun to your head to eat it lol.
I am off chocolate,sweets,cake and biscuits for lent so i know how your feeling.
Stay strong
Hi Dez,
I actually competed at national level for sports and then gambling got me to the current weight I am/not caring etc. I also have a degree in sports science and nutrition.. so don't worry I am not starving myself 🙂
Day 4
Anxeity : 5/10
Motivation : 6/10
Diet : 9/10 🙂
Literally cannot belive its 4 days..... !!? where does the time go. Started the weekend off well, lovely weather. Then travelled to a away game where we lost... frustrated me and made me want to gamble, resisted!
Looking at my Diary it seems like it sounds so so easy. But trust me... it really is not and is absolutely killing me
Joing a gym tomorrow morning!!
Day 5
Assessing the damage done.....
Literally thinking what where I could be currently and the mistakes I've made... Making me feel anxious and depressed.
Wish I had not wasted the last few years!
Credit is ruined for 6 years so dream of having my own home is so far away... 🙁
Career has taken massive set backs due to gambling....
Surely life would be boring without massive set backs....!?
Gamble free day again...
Diet is good.
Joined the gym.
Missed a friend's birthday yesterday... 🙁 would of never happened before.
Sorry for the poor post. Feeling grumpy and down.
Night night.
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