Can't afford to Fail

Hey Sally welcome to diaries.

I call recovery a rollercoaster ride, you did great to reach 5 days, ok you have blipped, but you want to carry on and not give up so very well done.

Online slots was my downfall, so I can relate to your frustration.

You can do this, you are worth more than giving every penny you can get hold of to online slots.

Have you heard of the triangle that is used on here, and believe me it works,

Time

Money

Location.

If you take one away it's impossible to play,

We cannot ever win because cannot stop, even when we win, the money is put back the same day or the day after and then we lose that and the chasing starts, and then the addiction sets in. and it's not even about the money in the end.

Gambling is just one big ullusion but sadly it's a painful ullusion as it can/does self destruct us.

Your 'FUN' gambling has ceased now (if you don't mind me saying) so now is a great time to stop.

Take one day at a time, keep posting, and take all the positives from abstaining, they sure outweigh the negatives of gambling.

Well done again for not giving up keep posting and venting your feelings, it helps.

Best wishes and welcome to recovery, it sure is the right side of the road to go forwards and upwards.

Suzanne xx

My problem is the same as yours Sally. On line slots. Would never dream of handing over "real" money in an actual betting shop or putting "real" money in a fruit machine but on line slots.... thats not actual money till you see the bank balance or lack of it.

I start my journey today I havent gambled for a couple of weeks due to lack of funds but ive decided that this wage is mine and today I have decided to take some action, not wait for the next urge or moment to escape. Im taking control of this today.

So today we start this journey together. Here's to the first day of taking our lives back xx

Day 2.

Well today should be ok on the no gambling front because I only gamble on line, I have no open casino account and no valid debit/credit card to be able to open a new one so I have no possible way to gamble.... Sorted!!

i do however have a hair appointment booked for this morning which means going out the house. Booked last week when I was feeling determined to "Get a Life" and thought a well overdue haircut would be a good start. I am now, running through various possible excuses to ring up and cancel as the thought of leaving the house is making me shake.

I won't cancel though because I do not want to let the hairdresser down at such short notice. I think they work like I do on commission so it just wouldn't be a fair thing to do.

I also will have to go to the bank first to draw out the cash needed to pay as I now can't pay with a debit card.

I will win today as I can't gamble, I will leave the house and I will get a long overdue haircut.

Emzy... Yep, I am determined to take my life back. I will be checking back on here later today and will be looking for a positive post on your diary. You know you don't really want to gamble today... SO DON'T... Easy!!!

Have a good day all.

Enjoy the pamper at the hairdressers. I am thinking of changing my bank card same as you. As my problem is just on line. Did you have to go and see the bank and request this or can you do it over the phone xx

Sally, hi, I am probably not in any position to give advice to anyone, as I am still figuring everything out for myself.

I will say that you have a good attitude about the relapse and getting right back on that horse so to speak. I've heard and read that relapses are part of changing any behavior and the key is to never quit quitting. So although we don't want relapses we probably should expect that If they happen to just keep trying, and they will decrease in intensity hopefully, we will just keep fighting!

Hi all, thank you for the posts of support.

Emzy... I rang the bank as I new that if I waited to go in to the branch I may never do it. I new that willpower would not work for me, I had to make online gambling impossible. (immediately before the pain of the loss eased and I was tempted to gamble again!)

I just asked them to cancel the card and not to be issued with another one. (although I may look in to a cash card only so that I can draw cash from the ATM at anytime without queuing in the branch each time.)

i can still do all my online banking, transfer money, pay bills etc... I just can't buy anything online or gamble!!! If I want to purchase anything on line I can always ask my hubby, friend or mum to do it and give them the cash.

I am sure It will be a pain sometimes but I need to do this as I know I would gamble again without this block.

I have only ever gambled on online slots so carrying cash is not a problem for me. I have never set foot in a bookies and can not even remember the last time I went in to a pub... Sad!!!

Half Life .... I Hate my new haircut!!!!!

I know can't gamble with the rest of the afternoon but am still finding myself with very little motivation to work.

Jenilee... I read your post on your diary and I wonder whether the lack of support you got was because of the time difference, we were all in the land of Zzzzzzzzzz. Take care Janilee.

Hi Sally, I try to post on my diary whether people are able to respond or not, but as I said I always appreciate all responses. But LOL thank you for pointing out the time difference I am in the United States and the time difference is significant.

🙂

Glad that you were able to make the steps you've made to help with your gambling problem. Very proud of you.

Day 3

Well I can't gamble today even if I wanted to due to the block I now have in place. (no online access to money!)

I can't fail now and although the urges came yesterday they lasted only a few seconds each time because I didn't actually have to fight them.... There was no "Shall I, Shan't I give in an gamble?" because the choice was not available to me so the urge was just dismissed immediately.

I really think this block is the answer for me.

Still need to find something to fill my day up with, maybe some well overdue cleaning.... Oh the joy!!!!!

I will be hoping that everyone joins me in this gamble free Friday. xxx

Morning Sally

Thanks for your message, and I can see that your determination to kick gambling into oblivion is very strong.

Not having access to money to gamble on line really works well, because we know even a tenner would not be enough lol

Enjoy your cleaning day lol, and win today, the addiction hates it.

Suzanne xx

Good Luck xxxxxx

your not alone

gamble free friday sounds like really good idea

Keep up the good work Sally.

another day winning.

have a lovely Friday Xxx

Sunday... day 5 again.

I reached day 5 on my first attempt to quit but then caved and went crazy on the slots. Deposit, lose, deposit, lose, deposit.........

But today no gambling due it being impossible with no valid debit card. So this time I know I will reach day 6..7..8.......

i always thought that if you gambled online (anytime, any place.) that it was hardest to quit but by just taking away the ability to deposit funds, no matter how much I want to gamble ( & I DO, ) I can't ... End of!

So no gambling but mood not great... I miss the buz so much today.

Day 6.

What can I say... I am on my own in the house, feeling bored (Although lots I could/should be doing.)

But no gambling today because I can't .... "Simples".