I am a compulsive gambler.
Those of us who attend GA will know that is how we introduce ourselves.
Been a while since I posted so I thought it was about time I updated.
Christmas, as I expected was extremely tough but I did get to see the children.
I never want to experience a Christmas like that again. If I gamble again all my Christmases will be like it.
I`ve never been one for New Years Eve but again, not the best of times.
A reconcilliation with my partner seems a million miles away as I don`t think she will ever understand and her family will never forgive me.
I want to change so much but at the moment they can`t see any actions.
That said I am gamble free for 55 days, regularly attend GA and am regularly having 1-2-1 councilling.
My daughter continues to amaze me and be the shining light in my life.
My step son who is now 11 is fantastic even though I have hurt him through my actions.
I would love us to be a family again but at this moment I don`t know if it will happen.
This is why I try to follow the philosophy one day at a time as looking any further than that fills me with fear.
Time to get of my backside and start making changes. Time to pay people back!
56 days gamble free and it doesnt get easier.
Not so much the gambling but repairing the damage it has done to loved ones.
I fear it is beyond repair.
A harsh lesson learned but one I which other can benefit from.
You have to believe me when I say gambling ruins lives.
An observation from watching TV this evening. An advert for a well known Gambling website followed by an advert for a well know Pay day loan company. Alot of us know that this goes hand in hand with our addiction.
Someone should be held responsible. Disgusting.
JamC
Fella Well done on your continued abstinence, I too have found my resolve to continue to arresting my addiction through the GA room, the knowledge available and the sense of belief I have taken out of every meeting I have attended is never ending, as we often say in our room it is like a two hour dose of medicine each meeting, it does'nt always taste great but always gifts the resolve to make the right choice.
bottom line is we can only make that choice for ourselves.
My name is Duncan I am a compulsive gambler No bet today.
Stepping forward never back.
since 28th november i have been to GA 9 times and have had 1-2-1 councilling 9 times. i am determined to beat this.
The hardest part is accepting I cannot gambles ever again.
What I mean by this is, is that my problem was online slots and the FOBTS.
The odd bet on the horses was never a problem and at most would spend a pound or two, the lottery was never a problem or buying raffle tickets.
But I have to stop all forms of gambling.
I can do it.
Just for today I will not gamble.
Been a month since last post but still determined.
Got myself banned from local bookies (they were suprisingly supportive).
Still going to GA and having 1--2-1.
Things still very tough on the family front and financial front.
Just live one day at a time.
Been a month since last post but still determined.
Got myself banned from local bookies (they were suprisingly supportive).
Still going to GA and having 1--2-1.
Things still very tough on the family front and financial front.
Just live one day at a time.
Gambling ruins lives. No ifs or buts it ruins lives.
Since my partner found out about my gambling and more importantly found out that I had borrowed money from her family, my life has been a mess.
She threw me out on that day November 28th 2013 and today she has told me that she is been seeing someone.
I have an 18 month daughter who I love so much, yet I am sad every single day.
I cry myself to sleep most nights.
Gambling has ruined my life and has left me with nothing.
Hi JamC
The consequences of your actions must be an awful daily reminder for you. In spite of your inspirational recovery and daily fight things continue to go wrong.
You need to remain focussed and strong for your daughter. One day when she is old enough perhaps you can explain how your addiction messed things up, however you can also explain how you had the courage and determination to own up to it and fight to stop, how seeing her helped to get you to a better place.
Keep on fighting the urges and although life throws us curve balls continuously that we might not be able to smash out the park if we are patient we can still get home one plate at a time.
Take care
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