a different strategy

thanks captain yea feeling a bit more together now unfortunately i already have a few mountains of my own but anyway onwards we go

Day 23

after a very good weekend i am in a much better mood

Haven’t thought about gambling even left the football alone ,

until this morning when i was on my way to work just thinking to myself that life can actually be fun without the rollercoaster life style but its going to take time

Ive come to the realisation that once you have been bitten by that adrenaline bug that comes with gambling you can never go “back to normal”

You need to have your gaurd up constantly and it gets harder and harder as you notch up the weeks/months /years

i don’t quite want to say that you need to give up everything that has anything to do with gambling because i have a small chunk of money in shares at the moment and i suppose that is a form of gambling

anyway back to today its mid month payday is another fortnight away and theres yet another bank holiday ...... ive got just about enough cash to last me until next Monday ( at a push)

so after that I’ve got no choice other than to get the credit cards out again

your totally right once you have been bitten by this addiction you/we do have to keep our guard up forever , i find it weird to , i kinda expect if i stay gamble free for a long continuous period i expect that this addiction will dissapear , but it wont and probably never will and so we just as you say have to keep our guard up and by the looks of it we will have to keep it up forever , as hard work and as annoying as that is though it is better than letting this addiction destroy us

day 29 - monday

another amazing weekend but so exhausting have not stopped !

the weathers been amazing and I've been surrounded by fantastic people

no gambling urges to report.....

quickly approaching the one month mark but no massive achievement for me

got another busy week but will try to post a mid week update

take care everyone

Day 39 - friday

Aplogies for my delayed post again have had a week working out of the office and not had a chance to post

Anyway a busy week and a even busier weekend , had one urge to buy a 1 scratch card monday whilst i was getting hangover supplies but thought better of it

Gambling isn’t there to make us rich its there to keep us under control with mountains of debt and keep the owners of the casinos & bookies driving around in there Lamborghinis

Ive accepted now that il never win that 10,20 or 30 thousand ive always dreamed about ive struggled to win 300 hundred quid let alone 30 thousand so whats the point ?

Ok i do enjoy playing black jack and the strategy that goes with it but i cant control myself when i start losing so unfortuantley i cant play anymore

You only get out of life what you put in and gambling is just a endless black hole

Its soul destroying when you pop in for a quick few hands and before you know it your down 500 quid and wondering how your going to eat for the rest of the month

Currently i am financially screwed with about 10 grands worth of debt to pay il be lucky if i can clear it before i am 30 but at least by that point il know i would have beaten this thing once and for all

Its basically a prison sentence lol

Anyway apart from all this life isn’t too bad nice and peaceful so onwards and upwards

just scanning back through my diary i cant really remember why i left it back in may , must have felt comfortable or something

so since then a couple of things have changed in my life

1) im back home living with parents ( an arrangement neither parties are over the moon about ) but i have no partner, no freinds i could potentially live with and no deposit for a mortage so basically i have no choice to like it or lump it

2) as a result of this ive floated back into the mindset of "oh well no responsbilites GAMBLE GAMBLE GAMBLE"

3) think ive lost around 2 grand since may give or take 🙂

4) total debt is now sitting at around 11K 🙂

well you either laugh or you cry really dont you lol......my only option now is to just concentrate on one day at a time because the bigger picture is a complete shambles at the moment

first things first , its payday thursday so getting there would be a good start got a stack of bills and credit cards that need paying

i cant really see the benefit of checking in every single day here ,not enough interesting stuff happens in my life and after a blowout i tend to be good for a couple of weeks without even considering going back for more financial sodomy

so i think in that case twice a week will be enough , il check back in on thursday 🙂

I am in much the same situation and I am trying to take my triggers as seriously as my abstinance. The only way is to celebrate each and every gamble free like its the greatest day ever. Gambling takes the joy from life now you have to work extra hard to get it back.

indeed you do michael ........think im gonna need to get a second job havent quite worked out how poor my financial postion is but theres a strong possiblity im gonna need to work 50 + hours a week for at least a year just to shift some of the credit cards

lol i thought i was so clever placing my bets thinking i knew where the ball was going to land on the wheel or what cards will come out of the deck next

now i feel like a right clown

felt the need to post tonight after a small personal victory

beside the casino my other weakness is football bets with tonight being the champions league i obviosuly felt a huge urgency to get a few quid on the outcomes

having watched bayern munich concede a goal and get a player sent off within the first 20 mins against man city , i went to check the odds on bayern to come back and win this

odds of 7/1 !!!! great £100 on £800 back that sounds nice dosent it !! even more so when your skint

so there i am toying with the idea but knowing full well i shouldnt be risking a hundered quid i dont even have and suddenly bang ! bayern equalise with an exellent free kick from xabi alonso

im thinking DAM i knew bayern would come back 🙁 and i leave the betting page

i chill out and watch the rest of the match , boy am i glad i didnt put that 100 down now ....man city end up winning 3-2 from an amazing hatrick produced by sergio agureo

so all in all i think i actually enjoyed watching the game more without having to worry about the result so this is a mindset i need to carry on through with 🙂

Nipped

Fella you should whilst in the right frame of mind,think about self exclusion, block your access to that next possibly devastating punt.

Because we both know that a 800 bunts win would result in how much of a loss???

You kicked the mantra upside down.

I did win because I did stop.

Glad you enjoyed the football, I did too, the barcelona game my viewing.

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back

you know its funny dunc because unless i actually have the physical cash in my hands , im usually very reluctant to place a bet , online betting just dosent do it for me

the £100 on bayern to come back and win was as good as a pipe dream i didnt really have the money to even place the bet i just like typing the numbers in too see the returns lol

pretty sad i know but theres no point beating around the bush

yep good win for barcelona and a good hatrick for mr messi 😛

Nipped

A man after my own heart lol.

I have only ever gambled in the 3d world.

I often say I am a mechanical man in a digital world! !

that being said I am glad that is the way my gambling was, the pure horror stories I read here and see in the GA room regarding Internet gambling and the fact that numbers on a screen often don't translate into the true carnage they wage.

Folk losing huge sums before the realisation of the damage.

Glad you are facing up to your own shortcomings fella.

With honour and strength

Duncs stepping forward never back

Day 7

Ive been away with friends over the weekend and luckily none of them have any interest in gambling which makes it easier not to think about it

Haven’t placed any bets or even thought about gambling all week

Having a small urge to put some money on tonight’s football , might put a fiver on a acca undecided atm if i can stay strong then i will

Money is tight at the moment , not so tight i cant breath however ive just discovered ebay have stung me for 50 quid for sellings things i haven’t even sold lol

Gotta email them later get that back for sure will need it for all the Christmas drink i am about to put awayIts funny because it was about this time last year i started this diary , almost nothing has changed and the year has gone so quickly im hoping for some nice improvements in my life by the time i come to this NEXT YEAR

Good luck and godspeed

day 12

ok still no heavy gambling

managed to go all week without placing any football bets , but caved into today and placed put a tenner bet on todays games i just cant help myself i love watching the matches that much more when i have a stake involved

anyway both my slections won and i made a really nice profit which will really help me get to the end of the month with

had a really nice chilled weekend , no alchol plenty of sleep feel great read to tackle the week head on

got a disciplinary with my boss on thursday so god knows im gonna need it lol 😛

Day 23

So a week from Christmas – but i got to be honest it don’t feel much like Christmas at the moment

I am absolutely broke got 20 quid to see me until payday on Christmas eve ( talk about last min shopping)

Really excited to get 2014 out of the way as it’s been a poor year for me all in all , praying 2015 has something good instore for me

Not really been tempted to chase my losses yet , had a couple of small thoughts about the casino Saturday but nothing serious

Day 11

Have had to reset my day count as i lapsed and went to the casino just under 2 weeks ago and blew 250 quid

Last couple of weeks have been tough really tough , im not happy with my life and ive taken it out on myself with gambling

Spent most of this afternoon reading through my opening entrys in this diary and i thought things where bad last year lol !

Ive almost doubled my debt in a year :/

What was a fairly simple challenge to clear the debt i had its now a pretty big deal

Im anchored into my life for the next 2-3 years whilst i pay almost 10K off

Im 22 and i want to go travelling and stuff .... by the time this is over gambling would have virtually ruined 5 years of my life

Never again

And once ive paid these credit cards off im never financing anything again either

If i cant afford it , i cant have it