a new way of thinking

Hi Elizabeth.. just wanted to thank you for your support.

I have read your diary. Seems to me like your a great mum and get alot of support form your own mum. Glad to hear that things are ok with your former partner now that you have separated.

As for the gambling well I guess we can all anlayse the why questions until the cows come home. i just try to keep it simple. For me its an emotional reaction to life and how i might feel in the moment. Bored, lonely, angry, anxious, worried, happy, sad.. any emotion can potentially trigger me to gamble. But the point being is that once am in the gambling bubble I have total freedom, total release from how I am feeling.

That being the case... it makes it very hard to stop once in action cos at the back of my mind I know that the difficult feelings and all of my life problems will come flooding back as soon as i stop gambling, together with the new ones I might have just created. The only solution for me is .. not to place that first bet. It might help to put "inside the mind of the escape gambler" into google and have a read.

Anyway didn't think i was going to write so much. gonna have to go back and make it into paragrapghs.. lol... All the best in recovery.. S.A 🙂

Hi Liz, thanks for your post, I was thinking that my pain could be all connected, the feeling of nausea too. Booked appt with doc, but not till Nov 2nd, maybe by then will feel better.

If your lad is 13yrs maybe you could do some of these deliveries of leaflets etc in the area, dont suppose it is well paid but would be something, baby could come with you in pushchair and lad could lend a hand too, they may think it a laugh!

Hope you are doing OK today, at least the sun is out here and wind has dropped. TC keep strong.

Hi Elizabeth40, you are truly coping well. I have read your diary from the beginning and in truth you are an inspiration to me. I have to thank you for the many times you have replied to my posts, offering support and although I am not a cg, I'm so glad you posted to me. At least I can see it from another side, however, like I said in my reply to your post on my diary - you have had the courage and strength to stand up and take your life back - well done, please stay strong for your boys and you!! xxxxxx

Hi Elizabeth,

From reading your first post, you say that you are approaching 40.

It seems to me that the majority of us on here are around the same age. Perhaps it's this "Life begins at 40 syndrome...?!"

As for tips for saving and earning money, have you visited hotukdeals or moneysavingexpert?

They are two very good sites with plenty of advice, just remember to only buy what you need when great offers come on. For example, I get cat food when there are offers (not that they come in very often) as I know that it is something that is needed.

Have a good day.

GT

Thankyou to everyone for your posts of support.

I havent been counting days for a while so ive had to go back a few posts to work it out

DAY12.

Well it only feels like yesterday that i made my first post it really dosent feel like 12 days since i gambled and im very pleased with myself.There have been a few wobbles and near temptations but ive managed to pull through.

next monday i turn 40 and im going to take the old saying life begins at 40 and try and run with it.

Thanks to milkmans advice i have also given up smoking today and i am nearly ready to kill some one but i will get through it.

Your right gt there are a hugh amount of ppl on here around the same age maybe weve just had a midlife crisis at the same time.lol.

Thankyou for the websites i will check them out.

stay strong.x

Hey elizabeth, think of some milestone rewards (day 25, day 50, monthly, etc)... its good to reward yourself and helps you stick to it.

Hope the smoking goes well... I think after 2 or 3 days, once the drugs are pretty much out of you, its just a mental addiction, similar to gambling. My advice is to drink lots of fluids, mainly water-it'll help flush the toxins out and keep the hand to mouth action going!

Take care and If i dont post beforehand, have an awesome birthday!! 🙂 x

Hi Elizabeth,

Just saw your comments on my diary, so thought I'd drop by. I've blown thousands on Gambling, and spend every waking moment thinking about how I'm going to pay it all off. It sounds like you are stressing about the money as well. There are ways of making extra cash though - if you have a spare hours or 2, I'd recommend you look through the following http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/make-money

The very best of luck

Thanks to everyone for their support and suggestions to make some extra pennies.x

Have been thinking about gambling allday today whilst at work,the trouble with my job im a cleaner is that you just have hrs to think as cleaning is quite mind numbing.

I only took enough money out with me for petrol and my sons school dinner so i new i couldnt gamble not that i really wanted to i wounldnt even call it an urge it was just on my mind .

Well nearly another day over the non smoking is going well but its killing me.

stay strong.x

Well done Liz you are doing great, and dealing with 2 addictions at the same time is fantastic. I gave up smoking over 7 years ago after many attempts, but something really scared me and I went to doc and did the nicotine patches and they really helped me. Keep up the good work, you are doing amazing, hugs,

Hi Elizabeth,

I firstly want to thank you for your post on my diary and your support.

I have read through your diary and i can fully understand how you feel.I too am just past forty and, like you, have regretts about money wasted in the past.

Thats where we should stop, draw a line and go forward.I dont know if you read my whole diary as it started about June with my 1st post.I had lost money, i was overdrawn and i smoked like a chimney.Now i have not gambled since day one, i am debt free and i have not had i cigarette for over 4 months so believe me when i say i know exactly where you are in your quitting stages of gambling and smoking.My diary may help you with both.

I think you are doing great quitting both as thats what i did,its best to say " What the hell, I am going to change my life totaly today " Then go for it.You will be so surprised just how much money you will save by quitting smoking.Yes its stressful quitting gambling and smoking so i thought " Hey, my brain can only emitt so much stress, it has a maximum load of stress to dish out and it cant do anymore to me " so i decided to quit both habbits wheni was irritable i was not sure wether it was because i had not smoked or because i had not gambled so to be sure i did not give in to either.Therefore this help me quit both and iam sure you can do this too.

I understand your worries about money but i think we all have those worries " The 30 pounds is not enough syndrome " as you put it.The thing is though that you are doing great and many people here are very proud of you.Not just for your honesty on here but for the strength you are showing.

You are tackling gambling head on and taking control.

You are tackilng smoking head on and taking control.

You are tackling your finances head on and taking control.

But most of all you are a Single mum with great values,hard working and bringing up your children AND working part time.That speaks volumes, the fact that you are prepared to do all this and yet you still question your own strength and heart ?.You are doing an awesome and hard job.

You have mine, and many other peoples total and utter respect, as do all women who are single mums who, through no fault of their own,are doing a very hard job with wonderful results.Especially those whose ex partners such as yours just walk away and give no help as you say yours has done.

Because of these factors you should tell yourself you are already a winner, now all you have to do is pit a few finishing touches on things and you will never look back.

You take care now, you are doing great.

All the best

Steven XXXX

Hi Liz

You are a CG and therefore thinking about gambling is one of our great pastimes. However the difference now is that you don't act on it. The thoughts will get less and less. As for giving up smoking as well I think that is tough. MAybe speak to Netline and see what they can suggest. Well done for resisting the gambling today. TAke care

Hi Elizabeth,

Thanks for posting on my diary.I have just had my bath and poured myself a drink ready for a couple of hours tv chill out time.

Thank you for your kind words, you are the star though as i said.I dont think many of us so called men could handle half the day you have.At least when we are at work a lunch break is our time, I appreciate the fact that for your it must be a constant rush to keep on top of things but your children will realise this when they are a bit older and it shall all be worth it.You can trust me on that also.

keep determined to quit smoking and gambling,its dooable, i have done it so i can honestly tell you it is achievable.

Also you dont have to thank me for my post.Its people like you that do what you do everyday that inspire me !.I for one would probably not know where to start, ( You see i have a mans organisational skills lol ).

You really can do this though and i shall be following your diary with great interest.

If i can advise in anyway just yell.

Take care and enjoy your evening, youve earnt it.I am just going to have that virtual drink that micheal said he would by you, me and Gt last night on his diary " Closure " 🙂

Have a good evening and relax, your on your way to the good times as you are determined.

Steven XX

What a cr** day work was mind numbingly boring and hard work and then on the way home i ran out of petrol on a strech of road i always lose my phone signal on was rushing back to pick little one up from nursery.

Managed to get through to my ex who came out and bought me some petrol god did he whinge but he did come and pick little one with me which was nice as he has never been to his nursery and LO was over the moon .

Now i cant sleep have real urge to gamble but have taken all wages out of the bank so cant thankgod.

After the day ive had i really want a f*g as well not sure if i can hold out on that giving up gambling seems to be easier than giving up smoking.

Anyhow i now have a week off work except one day where i have to go in or i dont get paid cant afford that at the moment.

I also wanted to say a really big thankyou to everyone who has posted advice and support on my diary it means alot to me and this forum has been a godsend just wish id found it ealier well back to bed see if i can get to sleep

thanks guys and gals stay strong.x

Hey, that story about you running out of petrol and a nice ending when your little one had a nice surprise.

Sometime in the future when you are still gamble free, you will look back on what happened yesterday.

And how will you feel?!

GT

Thanks GT your right a bad thing ended nicely you should have seen LOs face when he saw his dad it was a picture and he is a real daddys boy makes me abit sad as he does miss him but i make sure he sees him at least 2/3 times a week.

Well i eventually got back to sleep last night went to bed with a headache and woke up with one as well.

My eldest looked after his little brother for me so i got a lie in although the front room looked like an explosion in a toy factory by the time i got up but easily tided im lucky to have such great kids.

Im still feelig quite down i think the reality of what my gambling has done is starting to hit home after a couple of weeks without gambling and the fog starting to clear you realise how it affects everything in your life not just the finances.

The money wasted the time wasted turning you into some sort of golum sitting in the dark hunched over a laptop.I think the worst part is the personality change turning into someone you wouldnt want to know.

Im just glad my family know the real me and not the ********* i turned in to Ive just got to rediscover her now.

stay strong.x