a new way of thinking

Hi Elizabeth

Well done on staying strong your doing a great job, think its good now that you can see the warning signs and do something about before it happens well done you 🙂

Also wanted to thankyou for highlighting the Escape gambler post on somebody elses diary was very intersting with lots of scary similarities to myself so a big Thankyou.

Also noticed how much time your putting into other peoples diaries and helping newcomers on here so a big well done on that 🙂

Enjoy your evening

Andrew

I know the feeling, those horrible butterflies. There has been many a time when those butterflies/urges got the better of me.

But not any more!

Well done on overcoming those fears today, another extra little barrier has now been put up in your fight against those urges.

Enjoy your evening.

GT

Hi, Liz, Yes I know all about those strange butterflies you feel! Well done for putting up a good fight, keep it up, don't give into that demon, you know if we dont feed that gambling demon in our head eventually he will become so weak that we wont even be able to hear him calling, but one bet and it will fuel him up.

Keep strong, keep reading the diaries, you will make it, and do give yourself a little treat with your birthday money. Hugs

At work today quite uneventful really,spent the day worring about bills today got alot more coming out than ive got coming in my credit is so bad i cant get a loan of any sort which i could do with just to get straight.So much for my 5 week plan ive got bills coming out of my a**e.

I have noone else to blame but myself i know you shouldnt look back but its days like these you cant help giving yourself a beating.

stay strong.x

Hi E40,

Yes, bills bills and more bills, time to reap what we've sown. Still, better than being without a house and a family (in my case), but it's a bloody hard cross to bear sometimes.

Stay strong, the finances must improve sooner or later

mm

Hey Liz, stop the beating yourself up, you know as I always tell myself, you cant change the past, but you sure as hell can change the here and now, and you are in the process of doing this, dont gamble now in the hope of getting bills paid etc, cause you and I know it doesn't work like that, you stay strong, it will all sort out, gambling is never the answer, keep positive, x

b*****ks b*****ks b*****ks why am i so weak willed ive been so pleased with my self and now ive let myself down.

i couldnt sleep last night and gave in to those urges i borrowed my sons computer because theres no blocks on it .

I did have some willpower and didnt gamble everything but now i am so ashamed of myself back to day 1 and another stressful week of worrying about money.I knew this week off would be to much temptation.

I now feel sick as i need to tell family what ive done not for a bail out as they cant help but i have to be honest.

god i hate myself for being weak what makes me really cross is im a strong person in every area of my life except this.

oh well here we go again.x

dont be so hard on your self, we have all fallen many times in our attempts to stop this. each fall strengthens us to start again.

i to would see myself and be seen as a strong determined person in everthing i do, everything that is except when it comes to my secret gambling addiction, it has kicked the s##t out of me for over 20 years now, but i am saying enough is enough. i am determined to quit, and that determination comes from all my previous falls.

Elizabeth, we cant let gambling define us and rule our lives, you know you want to change, today is again day 1, be positive, remember the wonderfull day you had with your family for your birthday (20th :-)).

Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start again. everyone on here is rooting for you.

Pat

So sorry to hear of what you have just done but a huge well done on two counts:

1. For coming on here and admitting all. This is a very important first step into a stronger road to recovery.

2. For knowing when to stop. You could have been in a far worse position than you are now.

Just dust your little relapse off and start again. Like Pat said, you are now in a stronger position to be even more determined to beat this evil addiction.

All the best,

GT

Thanks guys for the support have spent the day

"dusting myself down"have had another long chat with my family and my head has stopped spinning gone through the finances[again]and its going to be vvvvvv tight but i should just scrape through it.

Going away tomorrow to my brothers for the weekend so no chance of gambling and just being with the people who love me the most and never judge me for three days will give me the chance to get my head in the right place again.

Your right GT it could have been worse so i know the willpower is still working sort of.

I WILL NOT GAMBLE.X

Hi Liz, thanks for your post, hope you have a great weekend with your family. You know you can beat this, you have the will power, and as GT says you have come on here and admitted your little slip, we can never let our guard drop. Put it behind you now, keep strong. TC Hugs

Feeling a hell of alot better after my slip,im determined to make sure that was the last time had no thoughts about gambling today abit of self beating but that is to be expected.

well down at mt brothers for the weekend and having a lovely time.

i am going to get where i want to be.

Thanks to everyone for their support.

Stay strong.x

Back from a great weekend at my brothers,great to be around people who love me havent thought about gambling all weekend been to busy and i have been in pain with toothache most of the weekend.

Back to work this week so this will keep me busy and away from the demons im still feeling abit down dont know if this is because of the slip,toothache,being home again or just life.

Hope everyone is well and had a good weekend

Trying to stay strong.x

Hi Liz, please you had a good weekend, shame about the toothache, hope that you can get it fixed soon. I think the time change can make us feel a bit down too, those daunting dark nights and mornings, so little daylight is not good for you. Keep strong

Sitting at home LO asleep eldest in school danger time for me although being in pain from an abcess that makes me look like a hamster is quite a good way of not gambling to much pain to even think about it.

After my little slip last week im starting to feel positive again being down at my brothers all weekend with no way to gamble it didnt even cross my mind yet being at home is always harder easier to hide i suppose.

Like ive said before turning forty is making me take a long hard look at myself and deciding what i want out of life on sunday night we all released chinese lanterns and made a wish,you can guess what mine was and it was a lovely moment as we watched them float off into the night sky.

With the strength of my family ,willpower ,the support on this forum and my two wonderful boys i know i can find the person i was and not the person i became.

I will beat this addiction because i know i can.

stay strong.x