A warning to all of you - My Story & Diary

Hi Scotto, thanks for your message and support.
I understand your feelings above. I also, after reading this site was aware of what the future could bring but still continued regardless. Scary, but we have to look at the positives. We're here now, trying to ensure every day from now on is going to be gamble free. If we keep it up, then things can only get better. x

Hi Scott,

Hope you’re doing ok mate. I know what you mean about reviewing things. I also came on here loads while still gambling to get the courage to stop. Reading the diaries though a lot say you need to hit rock bottom, and it’s true. You can come on here thinking you might have a problem, but aren’t actually going to stop until you 100% know you have one. Also realistically people won’t stop while they are winning ... for some reason they think they can beat the system, it won’t happen to them etc. I know that was me ... the only thing that was going to stop was a big loss ... the size of that loss was also going to be dependent on how much available funds I had at the time ... if I could have bet (and no doubt lost) £1 million that night, I would have done. So, yes, silly behaviour, but everyone here will have done something similar ...silly behaviour, but you, me and most people on here aren’t silly, we’re compulsive gamblers, so couldn’t stop at the time. All we can do is protect ourselves from it happening again, as there’s every chance we’ll get in that mindset again. One thing I have realised in the last few weeks is how little I need to spend without gambling. To earn the money you have in the past, you clearly have a good job, and can have a great standard of living without the gambling .. not gambling is like a big pay rise! Rich

Just hang in there. One day at a time.

H Scott,

Just checking in to make sure you’re doing ok this week. I’m ploughing on ... still generally a bit depressed and regretful ... bit of extra cash would cheer me up, but I know gambling isn’t the answer, and haven’t been tempted. Just taking it a day at a time and happy to get through each day. Glad you enjoy the job ... think that’s part of my problem so definitely going to look for something else once i’m Out of this slump. Rich

Hi Scott

One day at a time and gambling will only make your problems 10 fold.

Shaun

Thanks for Post rich, I have to say I feel the exact same as your comment. Yeah my job is really enjoyable and I feel like I am making a difference as I work for the NHS. I have had a not so great week in the my man flu has now moved to my chest and I have an awful cough, I only got an hours sleep last night as kept coughing and gave myself a headache and was general annoyed at not being able to sleep, wasn’t pretty. Hopefully tonight will be better. It’s interesting at work as the topic of conversation is getting rich investing in crypto currencies. Almost everyone has put money in it and they keep trying to get me too although for me I view it pretty much like gambling and I’m staying away. I’m still gamble free, Scott Out.

Good to hear you’re doing well gambling wise. I don’t buy into the crypto currency thing ... seems like an old fashioned pyramid scheme ... those in at the start get rich and everyone else gets scammed ... all those people saying they’ve made fortunes probably want to get out and realise their profits so they have to persuade new people to wade in and buy ... the bubble will burst in the end! If you’re buying now, I suspect you’ve missed the boat. It is really just gambling as you’re just getting whether the value will go up and down and there’s no concrete asset to fall back on. Cheers. Rich

Hey Richard,On the crypto currency subject. For me the bottom line from an investment perspective is that the belief that it can be a currency (which I do not believe) is diametrically opposed to it being a speculative digital asset like digital oil and earning you money from it rising. If it becomes stable and can be more of a viable currency, you will then not be making money from it just like cash isn’t treated as an investment vehicle currently as it barely beats inflation, Ponzi scheme is exactly how I look at it.

So how am I doing? My cough is still awful at the moment but hopefully it will pass soon. It’s so annoying when you can’t stop coughing...today for some stupid reason. I wanted to add up all my losses from gambling. From my initial month of hellish losses to my final losses after chasing when I sold my house. The figure comes to.... wait for it..... £271,839 by the analysis. I don’t know why I chose to do that today but I did and that’s that. I’m shaking my head and I felt bad when I was adding it up but not as bad as I did when I first wrote this diary. That’s an improvement right? I am still gamble free, I still have intense regret that comes and goes, I have moments where I think about winning it all back (madness eh?)... I would and could bet thousands every month which makes it so risky. I will prevail, I will hold out....I am trying to build back up my finances as best I can. I just worry sometimes that the temptation with having money that’s building will be there. My partner keys to my financial castle but I know if I really wanted to, I could get around that. For now at least, i am strong enough. I am going to have a beer for reaching 50 days gamble free. Come join me those who are still winning every day by not gambling. Scott

Hi Scott, not much advice from me on the gambling front but as a hacking cougher myself, I just wanted to make sure you were aware that slathering the soles of your feet with Vics before you go to bed really is magic...Just don’t forget to pop a pair of socks on over the top!

Hi Scott, thanks for taking the time out to post on my diary.
You are doing so well. The fact that you have worked out your debts shows that being gf has enabled you to face up to things, deal with them and move on.
All good wishes, stay positive x

Hi Scott

Everyday not gambling makes us stronger, one day at a time and before you know it, the days, weeks, months and hopefully years will be racked up, in the process making us better humans not only to ourselves but to all around us.

Shaun

Hi Scott, thanks for the post on my diary.

I tried to work out my losses as well, but gave up in the end .... before the last 12 months, I never had an online account and used to deal in cash in the bookies ... I can see loads of withdrawals, many in the same day, but I also know I had some wins which I used to pay for work on the house, holidays, going out etc ... i’ve never even had a credit card, so always had a cash based economy. I guess the amount doesn’t matter that much as it hasn’t had a devastating impact on my life ... looking on the diaries there are many who have lost jobs, homes and relationships. Thing that does strike me though is that most of these really sad stories (and I feel so sorry for everyone involved) are the result of numerous relapses over years, and that initially family and friends were supportive. I think if we can both quit now, we have the ability to rebuild our finances and we’ll be the lucky ones. 50 day gamble free is a good reason for a few beers! I’m due to go to Disneyland at Easter, so determined to get there with a decent amount of spending money. Cheers. Rich

Hello Scott. Sorry your not feeling too good with the flu symptoms. Hope your soon on the mend.

Very difficult to draw a line under your losses but that's the way it's got to be. In time to come, when you look back at this episode in your life, you will be looking at it in one of two ways. Either you wil be looking back with pride at how you reclaimed yout life or you will be looking back with even more sadness and regret than you are feeling now.

You are in the right place, you have the knowledge and the tools at your disposal. The ball is well and truly in your court.

Wishing you well my friend ...stephen (who is not ideally placed to give advice. I like to express my views but really I am just a sad old fool who gambled everything away, I am still stumbling around in the dark looking for the way home).

Hey ODAAT, Thanks for the tip, sounds very odd indeed but I will have a read into that.

Thanks Sha999, LML, Richard and Stephen. Rich - I just wanted to see exactly how much the figure was, it was easy for me to work out as it was all online and I had previously worked out losses up to a certain date. The losses are what they are and the ammount doesn’t matter at this stage, you are right - we both can nip this in the bud whilst we haven’t lost what so many on here have lost - family, homes etc. I will try to remain strong in the face if the recurring regret feelings that do surface from time to time. Sometimes I forget I have lost my main financial goal plan of retiring early and I get excited only to be bought back down to Earth when I realise I have crippled those plans... I however yes am great full for what I still have. I try to keep this at the forefront of my mind but it isn’t always easy that’s for sure.

Stephen - I have replied to your post here on your diary, in short you are definitely not a sad old fool.... your compassion for others in the same situation brings a smile to my face often times when I read your posts.

52 Days GF, I still have a horrible cough, I didn’t sleep very well last night but otherwise I feel much better. I will see what next week brings. Have a good evening all. 🙂