A warning to all of you - My Story & Diary

Thanks for the post on my diary . Wasn’t sure if to reply on here or on mine ! Will follow this thread but I have also replied on my diary . Keep up the good work and you have given me a boost by your reply . Sometimes in life it’s the small acts that mean so much

Thanks Vulture, feels great when you know you have helped someone in some way. I have also replied in your diary. Scott

Scotto85g wrote:

I wanted to add up all my losses from gambling. From my initial month of hellish losses to my final losses after chasing when I sold my house. The figure comes to.... wait for it.....

Hi Scott, thanks for commenting on my diary.

Just want to say that while I think it is human nature to want to know how much you lost and it is important to be able to tell our loved ones the total in order to start being honest with them, you have to almost forget the number.

Don't let it become a focus for you or it will drag you down and either make you a very unhappy person or let the gambling devils convince you to try and win it back or both. It is a really difficult thing to do and I think the regrets will probably live with us all to various degrees and lengths of time but we should eventually be able to let them go.

Can't change the past but we can make sure we never gamble another day in the future. Hope you enjoyed the beer.

Muststop123

The figure both creates immense regret and pain but at the same time the biggest stick imaginable to keep me from going anywhere near a gambling site. I still can’t shake this dam cough... work has been good. I have been able to focus on a big project and move forward with one thing at a time - that’s not usually the case and never was at my old job. I haven’t really thought about gambling much or should I say my losses. I very rarely think about gambling directly but just think about the huge loss of a planned future I had, it’s not easy to forget that but each day is helping. Onwards and upwards. Scott

Evening Scott , hows tricks ?

Hey Vulture, had a pretty good week thanks. I’m getting to that stage where I want control of my finances back from partner as feel like I’d be fine and wouldn’t gamble. By her own admission, she is not great with finances and I have mostly been managing it but through her. I think however at only 58 Days gamble free, this would be a mistake. It really frustrates me that I went from being brilliant with money and zero gambling to losing my planned future and having to hand it over to her, it really gets me down but.... a good week, a GF week, can’t complain. How are you doing? Scott

Morning, Scott

I know what you mean about wanting control of the finances. I used to look after our savings but transferred them all to my wife when I confessed about my gambling. It is slightly frustrating when she says things like "Oh, I'm not sure where I put that money" or "I'm rubbish at looking after the money, it is earning nothing where I've left it". But, and this is a big but, whilst she might not be making the most of it, she is not donating chunks of it to casinos so we are still a lot better off!

I am at a similarly early point as you and so I am just trying to shrug those thoughts off at the moment. I think at some point in the future I may start the conversation about me perhaps researching what we could do with it but still leave it in her name. Whatever we do it is going to have to be a lot more open than before.

Good luck

Hi Scott. Tricky one on the finances. My partner now has the money I got back from the withdrawals and suddenly announced we need a new garage roof. We don’t put anything in it, it’s not attached to the house, and we park in the drive, and there’s only the odd drip. I asked what she was going to put in it and she said the Xmas tree ... we could buy a new one every year for next century and still be better off. Her answer was she has the money now so it’s up to her! Makes it hard ... still wouldn’t trust myself totally so will grin and bare it, and give any bonuses to my mum to keep in future! Glad you’re ok, my view is that we need to keep temptation away for a good while longer yet. Cheers. Rich

Spooky, before i even got up from the sofa from writing the above post my wife suddenly says without any prompting from me that we ought to have a chat about managing finances in the future as she does not feel happy looking after it on her own. Agreed we should talk but it is definitely not going back to the way it was.

Hi Scott,
Just dropping by to say thank you for your continued support on my diary. It's lovely to get your messages.
I hope you manage to come to a satisfactory arrangement with your wife for your finances, you say you'd like your finances back but I know that I for one couldn't cope with the temptation of having access to being able to gamble.
Your gamble free days are ticking by nicely. Keep those thoughts focused ahead of you. Stay on this road and the future may not be exactly as you planned but that doesn't mean it still can't be wonderful!!
All good wishes x

Muststop123 - that’s an incredible coincidence about your partner bringing up the finances for sure. Did you speak further about it?

Rsmith39 - Your partner saying that she has the money now and it’s up to her is not ideal at all that’s for sure, not sure how I would react to that. Has she ever been like that before? I feel like I control our finances but via proxy in some ways but it makes you feel like a child at times or emphasises a failure in you which isn’t nice but if it’s stops me gambling...

LML - It’s a pleasure to feel like I am helping people on here so that’s great to hear. Yes I know you are right, there’s no reason why it still can’t be a great future.

Had a good couple days at work, haven’t really thought much about gambling. I have booked a lads holiday to Amsterdam thought with my hard earned no gambling wasted money... looking forward to it already. I feel like it could be a reward for keeping GF. I hope it stays that way... Scott

Hi Scott

Funny how if we don't gamble we can do so much more with our money, well done. Me and the family had a night out to the cinema last week followed by a trip to Pizza Hut. The whole night cost us £76, I used to be a £100 a spin on the roulette machines man and spun many of them consecutively without success!

Shaun

Scotto85g wrote:

Muststop123 - that’s an incredible coincidence about your partner bringing up the finances for sure. Did you speak further about it?

Hi Scott

Yes I was a bit shocked at the timing as while it had been in the back of my mind it certainly was not something I was going to start the conversation about anytime soon as I felt I lost any rights in the matter. We have briefly spoken since and while my wife says she is confident I will never gamble again having seen the impact it had on me before, I have no intention of letting it go back to how it was before when I could lose £1000s without her knowing so it will either be in joint names or completely transparent in some other way. Having said that she did remind me of the fact that she would be makings earrings out of certain parts of my anatomy should I ever gamble again - it was said with a smile but not taking any chances!!

Amsterdam sounds great - only been there a couple of times but really great city both for things to see and nightlife.

Keep up the GF days.

Thanks for your posts shaun and muststop123.

Seeing as this is my diary and it still helps to talk and let everyone on here know how we are doing in general, ive had some veyr bad news today. My aunty who I am very close to has been diagnosed today with advanced cancer. I losy my mother to cancer 5 years ago from advanced cance too and it was the most horrific thing I have ever been through. I am shell shocked, numb and lost for words... i am writing this here as its helping me get my thoughts together. She is all over the place and i know that might seem obvious but i mean even more than i have seen before as she is a very emotional and nervous person in personality, I have to be there for her and her daughters, we are all in this together. The urge to gamble or any regret at what i have done in a gambling sense has literally evaporated at the moment.

I have had this feeling before, much worse before but still i feel it. Time feels frozen as if it has stopped and everything moves slowely, everything you were thinking about and planning the previous days and weeks has dropped and gone. There is a surreal feeling...i think it has helped to put this in writing. Scott

Hi Scott,

Really sorry to hear the news ... nothing I can say other than love to you and the family. Puts some losses and silly bets into perspective. Make sure you look after yourself too. I know when I feel I have the weight of the world on my shoulders i often escape into gambling, so stay strong. Keep posting and really feel for you. Rich