Abstain and maintain.Stepping forward never back.

Morning diary.

Been thinking alot about Chicago's latest thread in relation to family, and the roles family members play. I don't dwell on the past, my twelve step program takes care of that and I have had the privilege to work through it with my mum, through it we have been able to understand the addiction,and ultimately better our relationship greatly. After reading i have been thinking greatly about the roles my own children played in my gambling life and how they have been affected. Now outside looking in i can certainly see through periods of there lives the various roles they all took on and through dealing directly with them through abstinence i can see how there roles have reverted back to that of children. They took the reigns on many occasions, became the adult in our relationship, those reigns have been handed back.

I have worked in complete unison with all three of them in regards to recovery, we are sharing the journey, our emotions are offered up and talked about. So today i ask myself is this enough, have through recovery i given my children enough support and knowledge for my addiction to have not left any scars that are so deep that it will affect there being. Today i sense they are all happy with recovery, they reap the benefits of a solid family unit, a togetherness. Sarah and i sing off the same page, in truth we always have, 21 yrs as soulmates and i am proud to say she is too my best friend, one who saw through the devastation and today too reaps the benefits of recovery.

I will learn and leave no stone unturned to unsure the impact my addiction left on my children is one that affects there lives in a positive way, like recovery has for me.

Today just for today Joe, lily-may and Callum I stand proud to be your father, you are three wonderful, amazing young adults and my Sarah i thank you. Together we stand. Xx

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Hi Duncs... Good wholesome recovery posts. Helpful reading for me and many others am sure. You highlight what's important in life and it sure ain't gambling. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. regards... S.A 🙂

Hey Duncs,

Beautiful post man, You sound like an outstanding father, and a great family man, all your loved ones will also reap the benefits of your sobriety. Thanks again for all your support you give so unconditionally. Nothing but the best for you my friend!

Chicagoguy

Hi Duncan,

Ur last post was gr8 2 read, u r an inspiration. I think all new ppl 2 this site should read ur diary it is full of hope, thank u 4 all ur support 🙂

Have a gr8 week xx

Afternoon diary.

Charlotte ten weeks gamble free!!! Brilliant.

This morning I woke to be told by my beloved wife, as she held me, "I love you" it has been a while since she told me, and it once again stoked up my fire.

In our 21 yrs together we have been through some really tough times, to which we have always seemed to bond and run together in the same direction, this to end has helped bring along the good times, which I can say far outweigh the bad. Today that is looking from my non clouded, unjudgemental gamble free eyes, as without doubt whilst at it, nothing in my minds eye was ever good enough!! I mean nothing, i would constantly talk myself into formulating ways to get the "big one" the "life changer" good god it was there on the table all along, I think someone once said to me in a pub were I had bought one pint and been back to the bar several times for change!! " oh my friend you must be very lucky in love" at the time I think my selfish addicted side my man you can have both!! Warped, my mind was simply wired wrong.

Today I am happy to use that mans fable.

Yes I am lucky in love!!!

I love you Sarah McQuilken, with all my heart.

And no I dont need to take up cards to see it!! Why because today I will better my tomorrow.My free time served well here.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Hi Duncs,

Many thanks for your continued support.

Glad to see that you are in a great place and that you are appeciating what a great life you have without gambling clouding it.

Keep strong my friend, and take care of those golfballs.

All the very best to you

Ade

Thanks Sir Duncs (decided to knight you)

Lots of thoughts the last couple of days triggered reading diaries around forgiveness and how to deal with the guilt and worry of damage caused to others, not just by wasting money but also my decision to leave my husband many years ago.

Really helps to read others experiences and both my children have stable long term realtionships and have succeeded in their jobs but still the niggle that they may be hiding emotional damage. As you say can't change the past so just reinforce good stuff now which makes my slip all the more stupid but has really brought it home to me.

Your openess is a real gift as helps so much to clarify my own thinking.

xxx

Morning diary.

Thanks again folks the gamcare family are just for today winning the battle, the war will be ours!!

Today sees one special lady get her one year gamble free celebration FANTASTIC work blondie, today I hope you have a truly great day.

For me it signifies another momemtus occasion today marks the forth gamcarer to succeed in a years abstinence since I myself passed through the one year mark, this I feel is something to celebrate as the efforts to get there have been emmense.

I look forward to seeing many many more of the "family" achieve the goal.

Arresting this addiction should never be underestimated as I tried and failed more times than I care to remember before hitting my rock bottom and finding GA and the forum. Two places I did not know of until I started upon this journey last january. Sometimes I wish the facility was advertised more, to balance the amount of adverts pro gambling, it would for me be nice to see an ad showing how devestating the ganble can be, along the lines of the drink drive ads would suit me.

I guess it is out there, always was, just through the gambling goggles I just could not see it.

Still had an hour to kill this morning, so rode to the library and did not waste a second!!! or a penny!!!!

Today I celebrate RECOVERY

Available at all great choices just for today

NO BET.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Duncs,

More inspirational posting - great to see! And thanks also for your comment on my diary, which was appreciated.

You are completely right re. advertising. Personally, I think it's only a matter of time before they clamp down on it somehow. Problem gambling is a marginalised / anonymous problem, which for various reasons is not given the publicity or credit it deserves. Given time however, and with the utterly relentless way gambling is now forced down the public's throat, eventually there will reach some breaking point and government will be forced to regulate. That's my opinion anyway.

Unfortunately, that will come too late for lots of people. I am utterly grateful that the forum exists for people like us - and that members like yourself are there to provide strength and guidance to others who are struggling.

keep up the good work pal

D123

Afternoon Dunc.

Recovery....great word!!!

Mr Mac,

As i said on my diary I cant put into words my gratitude to our gamcare family and you for supporting me unconditionally all the way, but i will try to wrap some words around how i feel.

You my friend probably dont know how much you have helped and inspired me to achieve that one year milestone when i first started reading your diary the hairs on my arm stood up and I knew that I could continue to draw inspiration from you.

You have embraced recovery with your heart and soul, you have inspired, you have been positive throughout, you are gracious and humble and you have the heart of a lion, and all that is infections, it shown me the way, and for that i am truly truly gratefull.

I am and continue to be honoured to have shared this journey with you through all the bumps and crashes and still say Just for today NO BET !

Thank you duncs, I will lift my virtual glass later and toast you and everyone on this site.

Chink Chink.

Blondie

Hey Duncs

Thanks once again, for your kind words of encouragement on my diary. Like Blondie, I have taken inspiration from your diary and it's contents.

When abstaining from gambling, I feel it is always good to follow those who are making excellent progress in their own recovery and to read their progress. You are one of these people Duncs. I am strong in my determination to get back to the old me from 3 years ago and people like you, are very much helping me to get back there.

Once again, I thank you Duncs for your continued support and encouragement.

Take care.

Lady Feb.

Morning diary,

Who stole the Sun!!! lol

well back to cloudy and damp here which has brought back a wealth of pain in the knee joints again!!! still got to enjoy three days of less pain, undefeated I shall not be beaten.

So the healthy eating is going well, last night we enjoy a healthy roast, delicious, for the good fortune all the family love vegetables, so name it and it was on the plate, to replace the normal dozen spuds cooked in dripping lol. then watched the football, shame that one team did not turn up, as my Joe told me all good things in sport are cyclabe, great teams come and go and I see he is right. Still my beloved pompey have been bought by the fans and I hope we learnt from the lessons and use our funds in a prudent manner, live within our means.

I told my number two chef(a west country non football man !!) my club were to football what I was to life whilst gambling.

IRRESPONSABLE!!

Always living beyond my means, chasing a dream that was never there, and all to line my pockets!! which had a great big blo#dy hole in!!

So today wearing my new trousers(shorts back in the cupboard for next year!!) with no holes in the pockets I journey through life in a league I am comfortable in, and enjoy scoring goals and sucuring trophy's

Just through good honest hard graft.

Today I woke up, made a choice to better my tomorrow.

No bet today.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Yo,

Once again you send me post to help in my reflections . For that I thank you .

Every day by sharing thoughts and information we are gaining the knowledge to make that recovery bespoke .

Take care Duncs and no chocolate ! Lol

Shiny xxxxx

Hi Duncs,

Just reading diaries. I love reading your posts everyday. I always take something away from them. I am soo proud to be walking this journey along side of folks like you! -joanxxxxx