Abstain and maintain.Stepping forward never back.

Morning diary.
Still on the relentless work schedule but made time this morning to have my eyes tested, I need another pair of glasses my short sightedness is worse, I will be able to see soon the lenses he put in the funky headset were unbelievable!!! I have always gone down the route of buying the cheapest frames on offer, I will invest in a decent pair, I will go with Sarah next week and select some. I am looking out for me and mine, I laid in bed last night and marvelled at how fortunate I am.
I have the most beautiful woman in the world to share my life with and three outstanding kids I would do anything for and of course my beloved hounds.
We played kurplunk on the couch this morning!!!!!
Abstain and maintain
Duncs stepping forward never back

Great to read about your progress, taking it ODAAT and being grateful for what you have.

Don't work yourself into the ground if you can! Sounds like you are putting in a tremendous amount of hours and you are clearly valued. Hope the new cooker is ok.

Paulds

Hi my dear friend!

Hope you're well and taking it easy with that work.

Maybe random and maybe silly...but what sort of game is kurplunk?
I played Hide & seek with Babybel today, "spot the sqruel" and also had a discipline lesson of taking an object from A to B 😀 (that was a stick back home from the forest instead of her getting bored of it and leaving it in the middle of the road!). She is a quick learner & I can't complain about twigs filling the garden...will be uselful for that fire in winter ;-)))..forward thinking that is lol

Look after yourselves

B&S xx

Evening /morning diary !!
Thanks Paul and Sandra for your kind wishes,Sandra kurplunk is an old game were sticks are all wound together,when the hounds lay together on the couch their legs get all tangled together!! Along side mine lol.
So not long in from work and I will be back out the door before six. Eighty hours this week and I feel alive,I can see the effects of my efforts,it's like a new kitchen,next week I will be able to shave the hours back by a few and I have a meeting with the owners Tuesday to work out how we take the business forward.
I am not bothered by the hours, I am rewarded by every one financially that I work and I have put in many more in other jobs and not been rewarded for them.
I will see it through until a replacement is sorted.
Again I don't want it full time, I know what it would result in.
Sarah is ok with that, we had a good talk this morning.
Today I will finish at eight sharp and our lily is going to pick me up so we can get home and share a family meal and each others company.
That is reward in itself.
I am enjoying the relief and enlightenment my medication continues to offer.
I am taking what is on offer and using it to my gain.
Right now I am focused,driven and living as a result.
Abstain and maintain
Duncs stepping forward never back.

Long hours Duncs...really something amazing to cope with!

However, I know what miracles medication can make..

Take it steady, keep reaping the benefits!

I'm off to play kurplunk then :-D. Sure Babybel will like it ☺

Look after you & enjoy your meal with family later on today

B&S xx

Morning diary
So the juggernaut that's work steams ahead, I am without doubt back in the groove. I have earned myself the mornings back through my hard graft last week, put into place much better systems that allow 14 hour days to become 10 or 11 hour days.
I am again able to concentrate on purely the cooking element of the job. I raised the profit margin back to where it should be through using a weekly flash.
Something stands out.
It's easy to spend money and not care about it when it isn't truly yours.
Whether that be through credit,loans or in my case all too often deceptive means that's how I lived my gambling life.
No regard for anything or anyone except feeding the next punt.
Today I am frugal I can allow myself time to decide what to do with not just my hard earned but those who entrust me to look after theirs.
It breeds a better positive outlook.
I can achieve whatever I set out to.
That is inspirational.
Addiction hates my life,it doesn't control it's every thought.
I will make good of the opportunities I create.
Abstain and maintain
Duncs stepping forward never back.

Evening diary.
So another week draws to a close, seven days hard graft behind me and more debt facilitated, I am able to pay off huge lumps and still have a comfortable standard of living.
Today was hard,one chef a no show,another an hour late,things beyond my control,things I just accept,it just slowed service down,no compromise on standards and the half a dozen staff walked away with a decent pile of tips each. I decline a share,I believe that the other staff are paid a great deal less and wish them to share my portion between them,they have still been counting me in and in a week there is a bag in the till with over a hundred pounds in it,I have said I will use it to take all the staff out at the end of October as a thankyou from me.
They are a truly decent bunch which is making the hours a great deal easier.
Tomorrow I will be back in early,a new week and I will spend the day straightening the kitchen for the week ahead.
I still have the ability and more over the want.
Addiction truly hates my mindset,it has nowhere to sneak in and ride roughshot through my mind.
I will work relentlessly to keep it that way.
Abstain and maintain
Duncs stepping forward never back.

Hi Duncan your mindset and motivation is quite something and inspiring on this gloomy Monday morning. Hard to believe this is the same diary compared to posts from not so long ago. You've turned things around by sheer determination and hard work., amazing. Happy Monday and don't work to hard, although have no doubt you will! S:)

Hi Duncan

Things sound positive, keep it going.

Your triangle was the first thing I read tonight, you posted a while back on my thread and you are 100% correct. Remove one and the next bet becomes impossible.

Take care and will see you around here.

Evening diary
Sharon,Steven thanks for popping by.
Today I grafted hard, twelve straight hours, just me in the kitchen today,so I cooked,cleaned and then cleaned some more, the kitchen is now almost Duncan clean lol.
I am putting in a new menu in next Monday, taking the place back to where I believe it should be, a proper country pub menu,steak and kidney puddings,game,bangers and mash and the like. Weirdly the previous head chef decided that a menu more fitting to the Brighton lanes was more fitting and every week I have been there has been a huge amount of dead stock,money just thrown in the bin. Arancini is delicious but the most popular question is what is it??
There is a deer park near by,wild boar roam and rabbits frequent the garden so I believe when in Rome do as the romans do. I have done my research and picked as many brains as I have been able and am confident as a result that I am pitching the right dishes.
Time will tell.
I am going to stay until Christmas and help through the festive period, we are interviewing for a head chef and I will support them whilst they settle in.
I am adamant that I don't want the position full time the time is just not right. I have promised myself that I will see through what I have started.
Tomorrow i won't be going in until just before lunch, so will enjoy a relaxing morning with my beloved hounds.
Addiction truly does loath the position I have created for myself.
Me I love it, I want to continue to cease the day.
Everyday!!!!
Abstain and maintain
Duncs stepping forward never back.

Dear Duncan,

Just spent 10 minutes writing a response to your post and then realised it was one I had already replied to a year ago! That could have been embarrassing!

I hope you managed to get in some relaxation and frolics with those hounds this morning. By the look of your schedule you can well do with whatever "you time" you can get.

That is one tasty menu you seem to be concocting - if that is an apt word! The closest I ever got to working in catering was at a Brent Cross Macdonalds and then a Safeway restaurant back in the 90s. Hardly gourmet, but bearing in mind the pressure involved in handing burgers and beans on toast over the counter, I can only but imagine the pressure, organisation and logistics involved in serving up food that actually needs to be "cooked". Love the idea of sampling Chef Duncan's bill of fare one of these days!

Anyway, had better get back to work myself. Try not to over do it and keep rested - we both know the dangers of overwork and lack of rest!

Best wishes,

Markman

Evening diary
Markman fella cooking is my life,it's always evoked great private joy,I have never been good at communicating with the world but I can talk through a plate of food,it is a great way to express myself and equally a way to gift happiness and create memories.
I have a tough few days ahead the staff around me fail to keep up and yesterday I lost a member of staff who sliced a portion of his finger off along with a nail. It bled alot and for a very big man he didn't fair too well with it.
So I am a man lighter and will again pick up the slack myself.
I will succeed and will forfill the challenge ahead.
Every day I want to live more,this week Sarah lost a pupil to sudden illness,nine years old and life snatched away.
That's sobering and inspiration to get busy living.
I met with another debt repayment today,the list ever shrinking,soon we will be in the black,then phase two of the plan.
Time to move, lay new roots and leave a chapter of life to rest.
Addiction doesn't rankle my thinking today,it's power deminishes with my will to live,it's grip loosens and with that my mind feels free.
I am talking with honesty to everyone, I have a black and white picture and I am enjoying the simplicity it gifts.
In twenty five days time I will take six days off to spend time with Sarah,the first day of which I have booked a few hours with a very talented tattooist,we spoke at length today and I can't wait to see what he will gift,I have given him a theme,but want him to have a free reign on the design,I love the art and want and trust his ability.
Life is today for living and I am running full steam at it.
I am all in.
Nothing to lose but everything to gain.
My name is Duncs I am a recovering compulsive gambler.
Abstain and maintain
Stepping forward never back.

Dear diary.
More haste less speed!!
Trying to do too many things at once I slipped through a rotten potato and put my paring knife deep into the flesh between my thumb and finger,I managed to tape it up and got through the rest of the day, lily and Sarah picked me up and dropped my to a and e, I have had it poked,prodded,cleaned and the muscle stitched to stop the bleeding, they have closed the outside with strips and I have to go back Tuesday and have the outside stitched if the inside is healing.
I have to keep it dry and clean.
I will work today,I will be set off in a few hours and gear myself up to make service possible.
Still smiling,I will get through.
Funny the staff in the a and e were great,they wanted to administer pain relief,I declined,then wanted to inject my hand to stitch it,I declined that too and said let's just get it done.
I by all accounts have a phenomenal pain threshold, I will use that to my advantage tomorrow and the coming days.
The juggernauts rolling on.
In the words of Monty python 'its but a mere flesh wound!'
!!!!
Have a good Sunday one and all.
Abstain and maintain
Duncs stepping forward never back.

Hi Duncan

One word... ouch! Kudos on the pain management, the last time I needed stitches it was a cut above the eye and I'm certain the stitches would not have been as sore as the tiny needle they used a dozen times to numb the area!

Life in the kitchen, to anyone I've ever spoken to about it, always sounds like it is 100mph and about the same number of hours a week. Reading your 2ns last post back now seems like a prophecy! Hopefully the damage is short term and heels correctly.

It sounds like you have short and long term plans in place, both in work and in life. I wish you every success with them.

Take care and stay GF.

Evening diary.
Home after another eighty hour week, my hand is tremendously sore tonight,I have re dressed it and it's weaped a bit but nothing too bad and it's clean and wrapped back up, I will get through tomorrow and re visit the hospital Tuesday morning.
Steven thanks for the post I do go 110 miles an hour but I truly love it, it is so utterly rewarding.today we were busy again and only one customer complaint and truthfully it was the local counsellor and they found fault in everything, I have experienced such folk before and I let it sail right over my head.
So a hundred days ago today I set out to take my own life, I without doubt would have done so if it had not been for the works on the railway, life offered me a chance,I have pondered why and accept the fact that I have to cease the opportunity I have been given. I have run with my emotions, I have sort professional help and I have a better relationship with my wife as a result alongside the relationship I have with our children and my mum and Ed.
Today I can be honest,truly honest and whether that is factually or emotionally it is working.
I have made a conscious effort to detach myself from the folk I don't really need in my life,work wise it's just a factor and these short term long hours are an opportunity I didn't want to refuse, they serve a wonderful personal purpose, the debt I have is very quickly deminishing and that will be cleared and release the ability to do the things I desire without emotional guilt or having to hide them through shame.
The difference between today and 100 days ago is polar and I am proud of the way I have faced each day.
I have finally got busy living.
I am grateful and humbled in equal measure.
Tomorrow is a new week.
Bring it on!!!!
Abstain and maintain
Duncs stepping forward never back