Once again I am able to take a step back and take stock at just how bad my gambling addiction got. Today is day 77. I am starting to do every day activities now without even thinking about gambling. I have been using the Allen Carr method of celebrating every time I think about gambling by thinking about the fact that I am now FREE and that I AM NOW A HAPPY NON GAMBLER. Recently I have also noticed that I am now starting to move into a mindset where I am no longer even thinking about gambling as it is completely disappearing from my mind as the days go by.
Today I had a lovely meal with good company and it was only once I got back home I realised I didn't think about gambling once and I reflected on this moment and reminded myself that this is what being a non gambler feels like. In the past I was never "there" even if I was "physically" in a location having a meal with a group of friends my mind would be elsewhere - at the imaginary poker table, black jack table or online casino and all along in my mind I would be gagging to get back to the addiction, jittering in anticipation of relieving myself from the inconvenience of being in the company of friends and instead sitting alone, usually at night gambling away every last penny on my own with nothing to show for it by the morning.
The first day is always the hardest. I was at "rock bottom" 77 days ago and the reason why I put "rock bottom" in quotation marks is because as I learnt through the book there is no such thing as rock bottom as you can make the choice to turn your life around at any moment. It is never too late no matter how hard you think it's going to be or who you are.
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