I can't keep doing this. I feel sick. I keep gambling. I have made all blocks possible, moved my savings money into a different account so that I don't touch it. I have enough money in my account to see me to payday, always how it goes.
I'm young, and feel like this addiction will really get a hold of me if I dont stop soon. Just don't have much to say at the moment, sick of myself. Really letting myself down.. And my girlfriend. She know's I gambled in the past, but doesn't know of recent occurences. Maybe I'll tell her.. Maybe that would snap me out of it.
Bit of a back story on me; I'm 20, paying off some payday loans, this doesn't finish until May of this year. I have money in my savings which I'm not going to touch. I'm thankful that I've got this at least. The rest of the money that I have is to see me through until next payday. Blocks on computer work fine, GamBAN works perfectly. Signed up to gamstop. Gamling on my phone is the weak spot. For some reason I keep finding cracks in the phone gamble software I download.. Something to do with my provider. I can't expect a different outcome if I don't change something. Only thing I can think of doing is buy a new phone. It's taken me ages to write this out just because I keep stopping to think about how much of an idiot I've been.
Jesus christ... I do feel a bit depressed, I know this is normal. It's happened to me before. I don't want to go to councelling purely because of embarrisment. I know the people there are in the same situation as me and can relate. But I don't want to go, so please don't recommend to me to do this. I appreciate that everyone is trying to help. But I just can't bring myself to do that. Tomorrow I am going to tell my girlfriend, I also think I'm going to get a different phone. So that I'll be able to block gambling from mobile. Then there should be no cracks in the wall.
Tomorrow will be Day 1.
Hi Anon,
Day 1 ? well we will see. Youve reached rock bottom when you dont give a s--t where the help comes from as long as you get it. Youve gone past the point of embarrasment when you trully want to stop and you accept help from anyone as long as it works. Youve had a bad day gambling dont blame your phone put that energy into stopping if youre really serious.
Good Luck
AL
Just checking what blocks are on your phone - what provider? Install betfilter- you will need someone to put a passcode on your phone to delete safari if it is an iPhone. I’ve got a friend who has done this and she will never give me the passcode and i will never ask her .
Poblwc wrote:
Just checking what blocks are on your phone - what provider? Install betfilter- you will need someone to put a passcode on your phone to delete safari if it is an iPhone. I’ve got a friend who has done this and she will never give me the passcode and i will never ask her .
Vodaphone - The passcode thing is a good idea, I can ask my girlfriend to do this for me. I will do this. Thank you.
alwalm wrote:
Hi Anon,
Day 1 ? well we will see. Youve reached rock bottom when you dont give a s--t where the help comes from as long as you get it. Youve gone past the point of embarrasment when you trully want to stop and you accept help from anyone as long as it works. Youve had a bad day gambling dont blame your phone put that energy into stopping if youre really serious.
Good Luck
AL
Yep.. I will prove that I am serious this time. Thanks for your comment.
If you have are on vodafone i’ve spoken to gamban which blocks gambling on iphones and it will be available on the vodafone network by end of February
Another way is to block the card on online banking and keep the security key (you get one with hsbc) in work. Make sure you have cash for what tou you want . You can still go on online banking but you cannot access your card or your overdraft. This has worked well for me as during the day i am fine and can control my urges but at night i turn into a different person!! Hiding away and gambling but no more
Poblwc wrote:
Another way is to block the card on online banking and keep the security key (you get one with hsbc) in work. Make sure you have cash for what tou you want . You can still go on online banking but you cannot access your card or your overdraft. This has worked well for me as during the day i am fine and can control my urges but at night i turn into a different person!! Hiding away and gambling but no more
Thanks a lot for your posts. Gamban end of february would be amazing if true. I'm convinced that would completely stop me. I've had gamban on my computer for about 6 months and its stopped me. I really do hope it comes end of feb!
Day 1 - Today's been a pretty fast day at work. Still annoyed at myself for previous losses with gambling. I haven't changed my network provider or got a new phone as I'm going to set up restrictions on my iphone and get someone to put a code on it so I don't know it. This should do the trick. I also have Alen Carr's book. Read first 2 chapters. Going to read more soon.
Good on you- you sound positive. I hope Gamban will work on my iphone as well as it does on my computer. I have access to my husbands phone sometimes so gamban will great for me . Keep strong
Day 2 - GamBAN have told me that their software won't be ready for vodaphone users until the end of March.. Maybe they are just covering themselves incase of delays. Let's hope its earlier. They have added me to a mailing list so I'll know as soon as it's available. No gambling today.
Day 2 pt.2 - I started thinking about gambling. Clsoed one of my olld email addresses today becasue I just get so many spam emails coming through from gambling sites. I just want to de-clutter, I feel like I have so much attached to me and @I can't get rid of it. Definately makes me feel anxiety. As much as I want a fresh start I can't fully have one. I'll always have the odd betting email come through, or the spam text on my phone. Something always there to remind me. I just want it gone. I wish I never knew what gambling was, never had a bet. When I'm not thinking about gambling, I'm thinking about how to make money. It all makes me feel the same, I hate it. I want to start living normally again. Be able to go through the day without thinking of throwing money away. Will I ever get there?..
End of March they keep on moving the goal post it used to be end of January then of February now end of March!
Day 3 - Almost forgot to write today! Could be a good thing? Not thought about gambling as much, another day gone.
That’s great to hear Anonymous. You must have been busy and occupied your mind. 3 days is better than 0 days. Keep going you are doing well.
CJ.
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