At the crossroads.

Watched a documentary last night about a young girl with motor neurones disease, absolutely heartbreaken & puts my problems in perspective. Yes I`ve wasted another large sum of money but at least I get another chance to put things right. Day off work so I`ve rejoined the gym & cut off all avenues to money. Can`t let myself stay in this mood of negativity, the moneys gone & ain`t coming back. Gambling sucks!!!

Well it`s been a week since my meltdown, still feel lower than a snakes belly but what can you do apart from pick yourself up & try again. Read somewhere on this site stopping is easy, it`s staying stopped is the hard part. Can`t believe I left the opportunity to gamble those sort of sums available, but hopefully I`ve closed them all down & I can get some gambling free time behind me. Life can be good but I need to put the effort in to achieve the results.

Gym is great, keep up with it.. its hard but its easier than stopping gambling....

Thanks Lasttime, I know addicts can swap one addiction for another but somehow I can`t see myself getting addicted to the gym. Day 7, living a so called normal life, up at seven, walk the dog, work at eleven, home by nine, watch the golf & off to bed. If this is normality I`ll take it anytime over misery.

I dont see gym as addiction, I go gym/swim and mix it up. it just makes me feel better about myself... you dont need another adiction you just need something to fill the time...

Thanks last time, you`re right, actually getting to the gym is a chore, but once I`m there I don`t mind at all. Hurting in places I haven`t ached in in years so that`s got to be plus. Feel like this relationship between me & gambling has come to an end, 30 years of misery & I`ve had enough. Just need to stay positive, keep reminding myself I can never win & stay away from that first bet. Onwards & upwards.

I joined this forum over ten years ago & I’m still cursed by the hold gambling still has over me. It’s one foot forward & two back . I know I shouldn’t gamble, I never ever end up winning & it brings nothing but untold misery but still I keep returning to it  over & over again. I’m ashamed at the vast quantities of money I’ve wasted over the course of 30 odd years of this behaviour. I’m done with it again though I don’t hold out much hope as I’ve had more day ones than I care to remember. Here’s to nothing, I’m done with the darkness 

Hi Franco 1875                           Recovery from gambling is challenging. The fact that you are back on the forum shows great courage. You accurately describe what it is like when one's life is governed by gambling. I understand that you may feel guilt and shame about your past and how much you have lost though these pitfalls. If I can suggest anything, it is not to be hard on yourself. You have already demonstrated that you can stay away from the gambling in the past. Relapse can be a necessary part of a persons recovery. Your previous posts show you can enjoy life gamble free. We are here 24/7 and I would invite you to contact us here at Gamcare on our netline or helpline on 0808 8020 133 to discuss options to help and support you.

Wishing you all the best 

Forum Admin

Hi franco,

Like you i gambled for decades, It's been more than 2 years since my last bet. Remember this, we ain't never going to get back what we've lost & that's a bitter pill to swallow. If you can accept that then you can move forward.

Best Wishes

AL

Thanks Al & thanks forum. Spent all day yesterday in bed feeling sorry for myself after my latest binge, that’s the gambling winning again but at least I didn’t go & chase my losses. Today I will be positive & proactive, I’m off to my local bookies to remind them that I’m banned from their premises even though I regard self exclusion as a joke as I’ve wasted untold thousands in shops I’m meant to be excluded from. I need to come up with a plan of action for my debit card, I live alone & it’s difficult to hand it over to someone for safekeeping. With this cashless society that’s been forced upon us, I need some sort of card to pay for essentials. I’ve tried putting a daily limit on my withdrawals but that can be changed far too easily. My mental & physical state are suffering so I need to get a grip, gambling is the cause of this so I need to kick it into touch. Onwards and upwards. 

Empty words & actions have resulted in another lump of money being lost. Today I’ve rung the multi self exclusion line & requested again to be banned again from my local bookies. Can’t really understand why the limit is only one year, not as if in twelve months I’ll be a controlled gambler but it is what it is. Also handed my debit card over to my daughter, I’ve opened a Monzo account & she’s going to load a safe amount into that weekly. At least if I do gamble I can only lose a small amount. Onwards & upwards, the only way to go. 

Hi franco, well done for positive steps you are taking. Hope things start to work for you. 

Thanks Charlie, must be careful, takes 10 - 14 days to process an exclusion request. Everything seems to take ages & you have to walk through hoops to try & get out of the clutches of the bookies, yet you can sign up & be gambling within a couple of minutes, it’s that easy. Seems the wrong way round to me but no-one really gives a hoot about problem gamblers, it’s all just a publicity stunt this when the fun stops, stop rubbish promoted by the bookies, compulsive gamblers can’t & they know it. How they are allowed to take debit card transactions over the counter is beyond me. Anyway just for today I won’t gamble. 

It's the same with the bingo halls when you sign up the woman on the front desk gives you a card, when you self exclude you have to have an interview !!