Back once again for the renegade gambler...

Hi Ryan,

Ohh..not so good news with nasty addiction as i read, but you coming back on here is great step forward ☺
You did very well before and there is nothing stopping you to achieve your goals successfully. I am thanking my lucky stars that I don't see gambling as escape from my emotions recently...a good cry - yes, drives to the beach - yes, not so healthy few drinks - yes...but nothing destructive as it used to be.. ..keeping my eyes open of course and know how it works, so deffo keeping my promise of - " not today" alive.

I am so happy to read that you are functioning well, working hard and even sticking to excercise! I am quite lazy on that now unfortunately, but never say never and i will b back on track with my runs! Well done on work promotion, i seem to start making few changes there and truly believe my shifts is a lot to do with the way i feel. Need a change i suppose!

Man..it's all about ME ME ME huh..never learn!

Listen, good to hear from you. If you still have my contract - get in touch please..i will help as much as i can! Please never walk this road alone - you simply don't have to!

Stick around, keep posting and get back on the road to recovery. You can do it - just believe in yourself and want a change more than before ☺

Catch you later ...keep looking after yourself.

S x

Thanks Sandra, about time I stuck it out again...I know we talked before about the dream of getting a house and possibly a dog, following this promotion it is something that could be a reality - but only if I kick this useless addiction that brings nothing but pain.

Anyway, glad to hear it isn't one of your outlets at the moment, nothing wrong with being lazy every now and again, I do all my hard work in the week and take the weekends off, and when I'm off I'm fully off!

Day 0 and I was tired and lethargic, the usual feeling of regret, mingled with the feelings of deja vu. Anyway, its out of the way, and after the gym this evening, and a fairly healthy dinner, early to bed I think.

Hey,

Yes, i was thinking this morning that we have exactly the same dream and how it all can go down the drain so quickly :-/...
Your post shook me to the core and it's dreadful to know how of devastating and horrible addiction is. Yes, i had many relapses over the last 3 years..each and every one hurt like hell..yet i kept coming bk for more 🙁

Looking at the bigger picture, we still make progress no matter how little it is.
You admit you have the problem, you're functioning outside the cycle and carrying on with your days. Just a lil extra push to put that lid on gambling maybe all you need Ryan. You know you can do it and i truly believe you can succeed.
I have only been free for a couple of months. No way I'm cured and i know how my mindset works.
But every day i abstain, i am actually closing to my dream...it is really happening and still i can't believe it.

I learned a lot on the way. Tried the rooms (for other addiction), started vollunteering to help me distract myself....still, the bigger picture is the reality i live in. Anything is possible with hard work. Absolutely anything. Finding what you want and what you're striving for is crutual turn in the road..i feel I'm closing that oh so scary corner where the new beginnings commence...however, i still have to carry all my bad habits and clutches with me..i kind of accepted that i will always have them by my side. No more running. Life still turns around huh ☺
& it could be much worse!

Ryan, reach for your dream! Never ever give up. Make those steps forward, don't be scared to trip & fall..it happens for some of us, but please keep your eyes on the ball. The blank sheet is yours to start filling it with the colours of life. Just do it! ;-)..you're worth it.

I'm here...right beside you! Lets walk - one day at a time.

S x

Hi Ryan,

Thank you for your message. Sorry to hear that you have had a tough time of it on the gambling front recently but great to see that you are back and fighting again.

We can do this my friend.

PS Fantastic work losing four stone.

PPS Yes, I bought myself a new top - something I would never have done when I was gambling.

Best wishes

Dave

Regrets I've had a few, but then again...hiya Ryan, ironically of the 3 of us I think old blue eyes had the least of em :-)....from now on its gotta be "the best is yet to come"..which is on Sinatras headstone not as most people guess when asked "I did it my way" a little crooner trivia there :-))

yeah how I manage to throw a spanner in the works is genius even by my standards..I'm more vulnerable to the gambling meltdown when everything's going well in my world,..your modus operandi (can ya tell I'm off to Rome for me hols in a few weeks) is spookily similar... promotion, passing exams ,and an awesome 4 stone weight loss is no mean feat, so why we then get that tool box out to "f**k not fix" is so frustrating ...but we've both done long periods of abstainance there's no reason we can't do this for good....the 4 stone weight loss is exceptional because I assume you had a beer or 2 during the Euros coz Wales were outstanding...says the heavy hearted Englishman :-))

Have a great weekend leedso...KTF..Ginger.

Well, plenty of time to mull over what went wrong and the latest fall off the wagon this weekend, while also doing a bit of freelance work and absorbing the first set of events over in Rio. If I'm honest, I'm probably feeling a little numb to the damage that I've done over the past two months or so, maybe I've been in this position too often?

There's no doubt that I've got plenty of flaws, but in other parts of my life there's been a fair bit of progress too, so nothing to do but to put it behind me and get on with recovery and life again. Maybe another hour or so of work this evening then some late night Olympics to finish off my cheap Saturday! There's going to be a few of those over the next month, but got a hiking holiday in Spain booked for next month, so at least its something to look forward to.

All the best

Ryan

Still on the straight and narrow, no temptation or inclination to want to gamble, and just taking stock, planning for how to pay off the debt and get back towards a healthy position. Plenty of freelance work to do, and all I can do is put it behind me and get on with it.

Watching the Olympics, and going to do some work for a couple of hours, and then maybe put my feet up for a while later on.

Hi leedso

Thanks for coming over to my diary and the kind words. I remember you from a year or two ago when I was here under a different username and I made a measly effort to give up. I'm pleased your back ( well not pleased, you know what I mean) you show great power to come back here and put things right. You'll get there mate. Keep going . Things are different for me this time. I want to quit. That's the difference. I didn't want to last time. Thought if I went a couple of weeks I would be able to control it just football bets blah blah same old same old. Who was I kidding? Anyway. Thanks again mate.

Catch up again soon

Gaz

Absolutely knackered tonight, a bit of five-a-side football and a day's work means I won't be up late tonight. Going to stay up to watch the Rugby 7s at the Olympics and then bed. Plenty of freelance work to get on with this weekend, and first payday since the latest binge next week so I can start knocking down the debt. Can't change what I did, but I can choose what I do, and get things going back in the right direction.

All the best guys.

Another weekend, and absolutely knackered after playing football on Thursday, gym session yesterday and then off to a gig last night. Premier League is back and once again its just a case of trying to enjoy it without the thoughtd of having to add money to make it more exciting, its perfectly exciting enough without needing money on it as the advertisements want us to believe.

Anyway, the morning has been baconed, so the rest of the day may now commence. Hope everyone enjoys a nice gamble-free weekend.

glad your being careful leedso. Keep being positively but never stop looking over your shoulder. Addiction is doing press ups waiting for you to get indecisive. SIR. tri

Hey Ryan,

Thanks for your post ☺. Yes, parents are well & driving me nuts already :-(...I'm surprised our nation is not called "whales country" course everyone is obsessed with food like mad! I didn't realise my body can fit full breakfast, 3 courses of meal and a heavy supper (each day! :-0)
I decided (for real) to hit the gym as soon as i land on the dry land ☺..it all starts with the thought right 😉

Good to hear you keeping yourself occupied and busy. Please don't get too tired because healthy balance is needed in all aspects of life.

Stay safe and keep doing what is working. Every day really matters - make the most out of them!

Catch you later dear friend.

S x

Hey! There's only one Wales, and I'm in it!

I've been back in the gym this evening, and hoping for another session before work tomorrow morning. A good weekend and nowhere near any temptations to start throwing more money down the plughole, however, its when the temptation seems to be away that it can catch you. Guard up, and on into another week.

Hope everyone has a nice week, and that the weekend shows up sharpish!

leedso wrote:

The first thread I see when I came on here to post about the last slip/stumble/all out fall flat on my face, was one by mba about reluctantly being back on the forum. I've tried to come back several times over the last couple of years, but its never seemed to stick, and the 18 months plus I went gamble free a few years ago are now a distant memory.

I'm nowhere near in debt as much as I was five years ago, but the beginnings of a nest egg for a house deposit have been swept away in two big gambling sessions and back to paying off credit cards used to bail out the current account is now back on the agenda. Fortunately I can still borrow fairly cheaply, but this isn't the cycle I want to go down.

Apart from gambling, things seemed to be going quite well, promotion, passing exams for work and lost four stone going to the gym regularly (with a little encouragement from a diabetes diagnosis!). But, hey ho, I'm back on the trail, busy kicking myself for the first few days at least, and then start to plan, rebuild, and book in that overtime.

I'll be having a more detailed look around to meet the old faces, and new, tomorrow night.

Ryan

Looking at the overall, things are doing well arn't they? The thing with gambling addiction and any other addiction is they seem to be progressive. I know that's frightening to many who just want to know a simple solution and cure, but its not always so easy as an off / off switch that is often desired. Keep an open mind to all and any help. Cant remember have you done GA before?