Back once again for the renegade gambler...

Lol Ryan, had to read your post twice about Wales ;-))))))

Hiking sounds awesome! I would like to try that too! Alongside abseiling, skiing and any other adventurous attraction to keep my blood pumping ☺
I nearly climbed on the jetski the other day but wasn't allowed cause waves were well too high for safety reasons :-(..never mind, maybe next time.

Anyway, all that aside - i sense you being in high spirits...may long it continue ☺

Stay safe & have a good day

S x

Well, it's two weeks tomorrow since my latest moment of poor judgement (working the power of the understatement there!), and I've not really ebbed towards that kind of problem since. However, I know what I'm like. I can go long periods without gambling, but then fall in dramatic fashion. Can I say 100 % that it won't happen this time, indeed, I don't think I can say even 50% that I am genuinely able to abstain permanently. That's what I'm fighting towards though, and although I know these milestones well over the early period, I'm still going to check them off and see how far I can go.

All the best folks, downhill to the weekend from here.

Hi Ryan, hope you're well. Well done on the promotion!

I'm sorry to hear about your recent blip, but hey, we've all been there. You seem to have the right attitude to it anyway and you're back on the straight and narrow.

The weekend arrives, and its the second weekend of the Premier League. One of the guys at work was talking about a bet he had on the Utd match last night. It didn't really push me towards betting, but I was watching the end of the game thinking that he was hoping for a Southampton goal (just one, not two, which would also have ruined his bet). Sports betting was always the starter for me, I never lost big money on it, and if it was just sports betting it probably wouldn't be an issue. But it never is, it's like the marijuana that leads on to the heroin of video poker. Its inevitable, I can't just stick to the soft stuff, so ultimately I have to avoid both altogether.

I think I've wrung just about every ounce I can from that metaphor, so hope everyone is enjoying their weekend, and that the rain doesn't ruin too many plans! For me, it's another weekend of watching sport, having a cold beer or two and maybe doing some freelance work.

Hi Leedso, thanks for the comment on my diary. I've left a follow up question on my diary if you get a chance to look. Enjoy that beer 🙂

thanks again leedso. appreciate the support 🙂

Well, still making progress I think and still gamble free. Thanks to Sandra for the kind words on my old diary - I'm not sure if it is the desire for a clean sheet that makes me want to post here, or is it more that I don't want to pick off the scabs of repeated failures on the other diary. Anyway, I don't think it makes too much of a difference really, getting back in the gamble-free routine and continuing to knock this out is the important thing.

Off on Friday, so a four-day weekend coming up for me, and looking forward to some hiking, getting ready for my holiday in a couple of weeks, and catching up with friends and family. There's also plenty of freelance work to do, trying to clear the decks before I go away.

Hope everyone is having a good week.

Hey Ryan,

Thanks for the post, always nice to hear from you ☺. Never pressure re the diary you use, it's your choice and whatever helps!

Yes, i suppose i had a lil too much time off work and the thought of going back in is daunting. I'm working this weekend so deffo not the one to relax & watch time pass by at peace lol. It is what it is huh, money won't earn themselves, only hard work will.

Yes i also agree about the post holiday dip. Had pretty strong urges recently and even sly thoughts today. Shocking and am so happy to navigate through them safely.

Oh, i also went to the gym yesterday. Man...that was way too hard for me and felt like in concentration camp with trainer barking orders..sort of.. " if you think 15 reps is hard - do 25!"..lol.. literally crawled outta place & today just praying for a stair lift :-(... didn't really like the place cause I'm more cardio equipment fan. Since it is owned by a boxing champ, it's mainly weights around & boxing gear..lol..not for this creature & i might shop around with the ones with swimming pool & sauna. For now, will concentrate on my outdoor runs (that's when i can walk again :-D)

Anyway, i see you're nearing weekend and holiday is just round the corner ☺. Great stuff! Enjoy every moment, you truly deserve R&R.

Place to call home huh. I suppose home is where your heart is. Where you feel safe, calm and happy. Where you have friends and loving family to turn to anytime. Where you feel pride, have motivation to see every corner around it, socialise and always know that the safety net is just there - as soon as you close the door ☺..of course that's where you're met by the most loyal 4 legged friend.
Lol..gone off on one here huh. I am very sure we will find the place where we can find what we're still missing..I'm sure of it.

Keep looking after yourself and be proud for making each and every day count. You're worth it & you're definitely doing it!

Keep it up ☺

S x

Hey you "home sweet home" ☺

You ramble for as long as you want to! I am here and listening.

Don't let recent dip to hold you back from your dreams Ryan. It's only the lil corner you turned but reverted right back on the straight and narrow!. You can and will make changes for the better. You have great/inspiring/strong personality and can do anything you set your mind to ☺

Your place to call home will be there...and indeed with four legged friend by your side ☺ (dog it is 😉 ).

Patience, dedication and belief my friend!

One day at a time

Stay safe & well

S x

Thanks Sandra,

Patience, dedication and belief. We aren't exactly perfect, but just a work in progress, with the finished article only coming when we finally shuffle from this mortal coil. Keep working at shaving off those rough edges is all I can do.

Anyhow, the weekend rolls in once more, and having had yesterday off I had a good training walk for my hike which comes up next week. Ten miles in just under four hours, with a fair bit of ascent and descent, and temperatures over twenty degrees. Very happy with the walk, and feel I might have this in my legs after all, though a bit of sunburn to show for it!

The counter to this coin is that my nephew was in town, I saw on social media so messaged him and suggested we go for a pint. He's a talented artist, but having not seen him for probably close to a year, I was sad to see how he's changed, and I think drugs may have had a lot to do with that. Angry at the world, angry as what he didn't get, and not wanting to take responsibility for himself. What common ground we had seems to be gone, but I hope he can find a way as he seems so lost and bitter.

Anyway, hope everyone has a good weekend, and that gambling doesn't feature!

Ryan

Hi Ryan,

Thank you for your post. Weekend is going lovely (lol)..back to work so tears through the laugh but it is what it is.

Good skills on the hike and you sound ready for the adventures ahead ☺..vey well done!

Sorry to hear about your nephew. It is very hard when you see someone you knew quite well changing in front of your eyes. I truly hope he will wake up from that nightmare and take the control of his life again. Addictions are just the spiral down to oblivion..i hope he realises it sooner rather than later.

Nothing you can do Ryan, be there for him..maybe you will b the person he will reach out to first. You have a lot to offer and the understanding and compassion you show is something hard to come by these days.

Look after yourself and take it steady. One day at a time

S x

Not too much to add at the moment - lots of freelance work to finish before I go off on holiday, and add to that my car won't start and I had to get the bus to and from work today. Anyway, busy, busy, busy, and not even time to consider a gamble, which is going in the right direction I guess!

Hope everyone is having a good week, and I hope to catch up with the diaries a bit more later in the week.

Not a world I understand were I don't get chance to consider a gamble. For me its a daily reminder. Glad things are going well for you. Thanks for the drop by on my diary. tri

Thank you for your post Ryan,

Yes...it's not that easy as it looks like but here we go, changes are commencing for better or worst..i won't know until i see it for myself.
In any case, i know that gambling would put me in very bad place. To be honest i don't think I could handle it at the minute. So glad this "option" is out of the picture...just hope it's for good this time.
stepping in the unknown, embracing my life once again..shall keep you updated how all that pans out ☺

Hope all is well with yourself. Lovely hiking holiday is closing now huh, make it the best time of your life! You're worth it & we only live once - go ahead and make this journey worth waiting for...i know you will ☺

S x

Back from my holiday - still no gambling and feel rested after the break, despite walking over 200km across Spain. Plenty more work to do to clear my debts and start building towards what the gamble-free life offers, but ultimately I feel more confident that I can do it, and that I am in the right place to prgress in that direction.

All the best in this fight,