Back once again for the renegade gambler...

Hey,

I'm not 100% sure if this is a solution or a problem, but my family problems have led to me doing a good day, if not two of hard work helping out with my parents and especially the garden at their current property.

Anyhow, another weekend out of the way, mowed about four acres (exaggaration, but not by too much!) of lawn, emptied the pots that held all of the tomato plants, plus cleaned out the chicken coop. Plenty of other stuff as well, but that was a start.

However, if I'm honest with myself the real issue is that I'm scared and worried that my parents, especially that my father is quite frail. Had to have some grown up conversations about wills, power of attorneys and also wishes for funerals etc with my father, and by default my mum too. Hard not to be too morbid or depressed with the situation, but hopefully we can push through and maybe have a few more good years of health.

Anyway, gambling is so far off my radar that it just isn't a consideration. Adulting is too much like hard work to think about blowing money which I don't have.

Here's to a good week!

Well, a few more days passed without much incident, although the medical situation at my parents' still isn't great. I think I'll be spending my weekends cooking, cleaning and trying to provide as much support as I can. It's not just that dad is ill, but mam is getting very tired with all of the extra stuff she is having to do for him.

Anyhow, a few niggling temptations knocking about in my head, but I'm stamping those out, and making sure I keep the reason for not gambling in my mind. Life is better, and gets better when I'm not betting. Just keep telling myself that.

Hi Ryan , The stresses of everyday life Bud eh ? , It's no wonder weve all looked for an escape route in the past is it , so difficult when people you love and care for get iIl and as with your mum and yourself it has such a huge impact on those around them , I've been through it with my mum a few years back and all the extra pressure is never easy :((

You have to focus on the positives and as you said Life's much better without gambling in it , if you were still gambling that would just add to the pressure and you certainly wouldn't have the time to devote to your mum and dad that you have now .

Not sure where this post is going mate but I just wanted to say Hi , congratulate you on your continued abstinance and say look after you mate as well :)) .

All the best for now and much respect

Alan

Sorry to hear of your family troubles. Keep doing what you doing with the gambling, it definitely will only add to the stress. Well done

Keep fighting the fight, brother. Thank you for your kind words on my page. The ability to support others whilst fighting your own demons is the mark of a man.

It appears we did indeed stop gambling on the same day. Let's forever keep that as our final gambling day. Hope you've had a good weekend mate.

Hey Ryan,

Thank you for your post, sorry not getting bk in time. It's not if I'm too busy with life, more less drowning in self pitty recently but hay ho - it will pass as always does.

A lil stressful time recently but no pain no gain huh, gotta keep pushing on.

Same with you. I know it's tough with your families problems adding on, but you're very strong soul and I'm sure you will keep positivity, determination and and belief intact.

Look after yourself and don't forget that it comes from within ☺

All the best and have a great weekend!

Spk soon

S x

Hi guys,

Thanks for your post Sandra - really sorry to say that it hasn't been great - my father passed away last weekend, and today (Saturday) was his funeral. I had to stay strong for my mother, and spoke at the funeral to provide the eulogy to my father and the man that he was. When I have people with me, I feel as though I can hold it together, when I am by myself it is like that everything that I am is crumbling.

Anyway, there are so many more problems to deal with - no death certificate yet (could be up to 4 weeks) plus mum is having some problems with medication and dad was also her stabiliser, keeping her on the straight and narrow. I have another week off work to handle everything, but with a large estate in terms of property (books, vinyl etc), its going to be a real pain in the a**e to handle, and my brother and sister are automatically assuming that this falls upon my shoulders.

Hope everyone is having a better weekend and week than I am. Anyway, still gamble free, and not giving up on this journey yet. Now I have to press on towards the positive future - if I can find it at least.

Leedso I am sooo sorry for your loss. There really aren't any words are there? Sending you a hug then. It's ok to feel. You know in those moments when you are by yourself and not managing the next administrative piece... it's good to be busy but important to let yourself feel too. Come back here if you need to. Always reading and listening. -joanxx

Hi, sad to read of your loss, I lost my mother in law last September and that was really hard as I cared for her for the last two years of her life (I'd known her for over 30 years) I can only imagine how hard it is to loose a parent, but my thoughts are with you. It does get easier as time goes on and now I can think of her without crying and remember more of the good times we had and the way in which she touched my life. I would like to say well done on your gf days, that is such an achievement. Best wishes x

Morning Leedso, so so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you're going through. My thoughts are with you and your family at this awful time. This may not come as a comfort, but please remember we are all here, anytime to help and support you. Take Care cx

Afternoon Ryan Just come on and read of your sad loss , nothing I can say say will ease the pain that your going through and one that I've also experienced in my life . My thoughts and condolences are with you and your family dear brother . Keep faith and stay strong for you and those you love . Alan x

My thoughts are with you Ryan. All the best.

Thank you for your kind posts. It's been a tough old week, and last night the little weasel came into my thoughts again. Gambling addiction is like some ridiculous game of whack-a-mole where the temptation keeps coming out in a different spot. Anyway, I was just sat at the computer in a bit of a daydream, and the thoughts just started coming in and niggling at me. I wasn't about to give it any time, but I probably thought for a minute or two about the possibility.

I haven't gone any further than that, but it is a live reminder that this horrible addiction tries to catch us at our weakest, when we are vulnerable, and it isn't something that will let go easily (I definitely know that for a fact, call me Mr Relapse). Anyway, today is 90 days gamble free. I'm hanging on to that as progress, and I am not letting go yet.

Morning Ryan , I'm glad your back posting :))

I hope everything is settling down a little for you and your family , youv'e shown great strenght of character to avoid going back down the slippery slope , as you say gambling loves that sort of opportunity .

Well done Buddy you should be proud of yourself :))

Love and best wishes to you and yours .

Al