Back once again for the renegade gambler...

Ticking off the milestones again with decent regularity, next up will be the three month marker all being well. I must admit that gambling thoughts have been floating around my mind from time to time, but those temptations are vicious little liars. A cheeky fiver on the football won't do any harm. But I know that what follows on from that cheeky fiver will do harm. I am not strong enough to just do sports bets, but after all that is the side of gambling that I enjoy, and I've never really lost too much money with those bets.

However, once I accept that I can place sports bets, the first door is opened, and then its easy to move on from the first room behind that door further into the house of gambling, and before I know it I'm being flushed out thousands of pounds lighter. Again. Not this time, I hope. I will not open that door.

Still broken...Wish I wasn't, but for now I will accept that I am still trying to get past the broken piece of me.

Went back to early days of my diary in 2010 Ryan and noticed you were there then and posted to me, so I'm not the only one who has been on here for 6 years (on and off) without fully getting myself sorted. Hope this time is the final time for both you and I. Best wishes.

Cap - you are d**n right its been a long time, I'm not sure if I'll ever beat it fully, but I'm glad to still be fighting it. There are positive signs in life, despite the misery that currently seems to have me in its grip. Four months gamble free today, and I know in my heart that the tough few months would have been much worse if I had the stress of gambling on top of everything else too.

I do intend to come back here and post regularly again, and I'm sorry for not checking up on my friends here as often as I should. To paraphrase Dory from finding nemo with regards to this fight against gambling: "just keep swinging, just keep swinging, just keep swinging...."

Still plodding on, not much to add but not gambling, despite the occasional temptation knocking at my door. Drinking too much and need to get that under control, it's exacerbating the emotional rollercoaster. I can't switch off and let my walls down during the day, so its the release that I feel I need, although it definitely doesn't fix things.

As a positive note, I did complete a 5k run for charity last weekend, I'm still a big fella, and stopped to walk a couple of times, but it was good to achieve that particular goal, and I notched a time that was several minutes within my goal. Might try a 10k next year, need something to work towards.

All the best for a gamble free weekend guys.

Keep up the fight buddy. I too have been drinking way too much. Detox started today(again) I assume it's replacing the gambling .

Hey Ryan ! How you doing Buddy ? , Thanks for the drop by :)) . The diabetes is actually great to be honest , I'd convinced myself it was going to be bad this time as I'd been having the symptoms back again you know the tghirst and weeing a bit more often but I'd also had a virus which I now think was to blame for that as the tests came back at 48 for the Hba1c's :)) , I've not been on any meds and have always maintained it through just diet , I can't exercise because of the old hips which is a real bummer so I'm pretty lucky the Low carbing is doing it's job , I really want to have a go at the Newcastle diet ( have you heard of it ) nothing to do with drinking but youv'e a fair chance of reversing the diabetes , it's just pretty restrictive for 3 months though but no real point with xmas apon us quite soon as one mince pie and it's game over LOL ! .

It's great that you did the 5k run and you must have felt proud about that , it's good for our condition as well ( Diabetes not the gambling ) and will help keep the sugars under control if you can keep it up .

You know the drinkings not gonna help any though mate so you need to look after yourself on that front , like the gambling our Diabetes is managable but we still need to keep a tight rein on it don't we ?.

The kids are all well thank you but they'll be put up for adoption shortly , I think that's put a downer on things for me the last few weeks but I seem to have my head around it again now , as with this it's all about accepting the things we cannot change eh?.

Good to hear from you Ryan , I know it's tough at times but keep plodding on if that's what it takes to stay safe fella , it's always going to be about One day at a time for most of us anyway but I'll take that over the way my life used to be and I'm pretty sure you feel the same ?.

Let me know how it all goes on Monday Buddy and I'll vcatch up with you again soon :))

Cheers Ryan and best wishes mate !

Thank you so so much for your kind words Ryan ☺

Very random thought...but here i have it now: " no matter how lonely you feel, there is someone somewhere caring about you right now"

Not too Xmassy lol ....but, let's just say - I'm thinking about you & wishing you all tbe best!
Every day counts ☺

Hugs & merry Christmas!

S x

Happy Christmas all,

Another one comes around, but for me this Christmas is a different one. Too much was taken from us in 2016, next year can only be better I think, so hopefully our 2017 Christmas is a more positive and enthusiatic one. New Year's Day will mark the 150 days gamble free for me. There have been a few stumbles, and I'm not entirely sure why I don't gamble now, but it is paving the path to a better future. One step forward.

Anyway, food and mid-afternoon nap have been covered, time for a couple of drinks and watch a movie. Hope you all have as good day as your individual situation allows.

Well done on your gf days, Christmas time and birthdays are always difficult times when we have lost loved ones, I hope your Christmas was as good as it could be and whilst they may not be with us in body their spirit lives on x take care x

HI, as it's the first attempt at snowdon I've been advised to do either the snowdon ranger route or the llanberis one, your good doing the hardest one, lots of people have fell from that route. I've wanted to do this for years, what's the best month to attempt it x

Another few days along the path, another series of dramas in the life of me and mum. Okay, so driving home from the doctors, where my mum had just had an appointment relating to a chest infection, and the clutch goes on her car. And then I get out to push the car to the side of the road, and I lose the key to the front door. Then I jog to a neighbour's house, borrow a torch, can't find the key, then run the two miles back to mum's house, break in, find my car keys and the spare door keys, go back down, pick up mum, bring her home and get her home. Then I get back down to the car, spend another hour with the recovery truck on one of the coldest nights of the year getting the car to the garage.

I thought I knew what stress was. Seriously, I had no idea. I keep getting reminders of how I am not as organized, as intelligent, as compassionate and as savvy as my father. But I can only do my best, and adapt on the hoof from there. Hey, at least I'm not gambling, and on the way to day 150 on New Year's Day. Progress, that's all I can achieve.

Hi Ryan,

Thank you for your post. WOW, a little wobbly day you had yesterday, hope car gets sorted without too much hassle and at least a lil peace will be back in the household.
You're compassionate, intelligent and organised - don't start telling yourself otherwise...& of course - you're enough as you are ☺

You're right - freezing outside! Now i walk thousands miles on foot, i appreciate the fresh air ☺..could b warmer tho lol

Take care & whoop whoop for upcoming celebration away from this nasty addiction!

S x

Thank you for your lovely support Ryan ☺

3k is awesome! Well done you.
I would attempt a run but honestly don't want to make matters worse :-/..miss my runs....but it is what it is!.i think I'm losing my marbles sitting at home...i rant & rave for having no time to do stuff on normal working week & now i have all the time in the world i struggle to get my ar*e outside or take lil boy cinema and stuff...just blahhhhh feeling...still, high hopes it will pass!

Searching for a car all day..made myself chuckle as really struggling to see myself in lil KA....beep beep ;-))))
Maybe MG or lil Peugeot on a agenda...

Anyhoo...g free huh...let's keep it this way as it helps going forward ☺

Stay well

S x

Congrats on 150 days!