Back to square 1

Hi Nicki,

Thank u 4 ur support and kind words on my diary. It means a lot 🙂

Well done on 11 days gamble free, u r doing brilliant 🙂

U can do this, I believe in u!

Take care xx

Hi there

thanks for support on a v low day, much appreciated.

Trying to sort my electrics a different way as they are taking the P*** with silly quotes for a few hours work because I live on a houseboat down a lane.

Lots of pressure for you at the moment so stay strong and thinking of you.

xxx

Hi Nikki......hang in there girl, this will be our year of no gambling.

You and I both started on this journey again after we were so good for quite a while before we both gave into those urges thinking we could control that monster. What a joke !!!!!!!

So here we are both on 12 days gambling free. Don't know about you, but boy are those 12 days going soooo slow. I want it to be weeks instead of days. I must admit I am dreaming of winning at the pokies most night. Not sure if this is NORMAL or just a sign of our addiction because I want to be serious about it this time and I know my triggers by heart now. I just like remembering what fun I was having when in the venues, but keep reminding my self that was b******t......I lost 9/10 and if I did win I would go back and get this ------ get some more only to loose that whole lot and some more. That is what I have to tell myself when that voice says lets have some fun, you deserve it.

We are women and we can do anything we put our mind too....so betting this addiction will happen.

Keep breathing and smelling the roses. Crystal. xx

Hi Nicki,

Just popping in2 say I hope u r ok and staying strong 🙂

I am thinking of u 🙂

Have a gr8 wknd xxxx

Hi Nicki,

How was ur day out with ur little boy?

Did u have fun?

I hope u had a gr8 day, u deserve nothing but happiness 🙂

Stay strong xx

Hi silly 26

Just reading trough your diary and you seem on the right path, one thing I'm learning through my recovery is that we can never win as gamblers because no matter how much we win we will put it all back sooner or later, I wish you the best of luck in your recovery!!

Simmo

Well I'm back and fully ashamed of myself over the last couple of weeks. I thought I could conquer this addiction alone but I can not. I feel disgusting with how much I've spent and lied. Back to day one.

I hope everyone is well

Nicki

Hi Nicki,

Sorry 2 read that u have had a slip, I slipped last wknd 2.... It takes a lot of strength 2 come back here and admit it so well done!

U can do this, take it one day at a time!

We r all here 4 u if u need us 🙂

Stay strong xxxx

Thank you Char.

Well i would see today as Day 1. Im sick of feeling this way and going through the same old bull s**t when I do mess up. I think i would learn by now. I don't even enjoy the gambling when I do it, so why the hell do I do it. Im lucky this time round i have someone to bail me out, but if I didn't I would be in a right mess.

Enough of the moaning. This is Day 1 and I seriously hope there will be many more days to add on to it. i do not wany to gamble any more I just want to be happy.

New me begins today.

🙂

Hey Nicki,

Great to see you back even if the circumstances are not as good. At least being back shows you really want to get a hold of this demon and keep it at bay. You were absolutely flying not so long ago and it really showed in your posts. I think it can be pretty easy to get stuck back in a bit of a rut if you have a slip. What does take immense strength is picking yourself back up and having another go.

Many people take positives from a slip as they learn something new or find another way of keeping there addiction at arms length. Today maybe you can find some positives and look forward. Looking back will do you more harm and as Carl often says we cannot change our past but we can dictate our future. This is what you need to do now!

Really pleased you are here,

Flagg

Thanks everyone for your support, it means a lot.

Day 2- Feeling positive today, I've decieding to take flaggs advice and look forward and take positive steps by learning from my slips. Rather than doing what I always do I bury my head deep in the sand.

I Know i gamble when I have had a drink or two at home with my partner. So I think that needs to be put a stop to. No more drinking in the house if it is just me and my partner, that is first step.

2nd step is to deal with this inner deamons that I think i have been avoiding for far to long and go and speak to someone about it. Not sure who I am going to speak to but I need to be honest with someone and try and address some of these issues that perhaps I have just avoided for the last 15 years. Not saying that will conquer my gambling addiction but I think it will help me in myself.

Thirdly pass this degree of mine so I can finally get my life together, and continue to have a happy life with my partner and son.

Those are my little steps. Most likely just rambled but my head is full of stuff at the moment and Im just trying to make some sense in there.

I hope everyone is well. Stay strong

Nicki xx

Hiya Silly

Thanks for your kind post in my diary.

I hope that you have had a good day.

All the best

Joe

Day 4 reached :).

To busy to breath let alone think about gambling. Just thought I'd pop on to say stay strong and we can all do this

Take care

Nicki xx

Day 6. No urges to gamble. Stuck to my urges of not drinking in the house. It seems to be doing the trick. Although after the week I have had I really did fancy one, but hey ho it means I'm also being healthy in the process.

Weigh in today :-/, trying to get that summer bod everyone hopes for. So healthy eating for me, which is actually giving me a lot more energy and making me feel a lot better, so exercise will commence after this weigh in.

I have just been asked by my partner for my ring size hmmmm wonder what for.....

Hope all is well, and staying strong

Nicki xx

Day 8....urges urges urges. Will resist!!!