Back to square 1

Thanks all.

Well day 18 I'm on now. Time really does fly. Don't really have a lot of time to get on here due to my placement but I feel I'm doing well.

I made the decision last week to also give up drinking for the time I'm on placement and that really has helped with not gambling to the point where I don't think of it anymore. I also feel healthy and not as tired or grumpy. So hello new life. Now I just need to eat healthy and I will be a new me :).

Placement is pretty sh*tty at the moment as they don't think I have what it takes to he the thing I've been training for the last three years. Was a real blow but I'm gonna prove them all wrong I can't let this get me down and break me! I did cone away wanting to leave as they really did suck my confidence away, but after a good talk with the mom felt better.

Any way hope everyone is well

Take care

Nicki xx

Well day 21

On the gambling front it has been really good. No urges as of yet. I have still quit the drinking which is helping a lot. It's amazing how much better I feel.

Things are awfully stressfull at the moment. To much on at the moment not enough time to think. Not sure if im gonna pass this placement, but I will not let that deter me from passing this f%%king course. 5 years and getting to the end and to be told I'm not cut out to do it, has been very crappy over the last few days. But trying to learn from the negatives.

Well hey ho

Hope you are all well

Nicki x

Hi Nicki,

Just popping in2 say I hope u r ok and staying strong 🙂

I am always here 4 u 🙂

Have a gr8 nite xx

34!!!! Stressed still mega busy but gamble free. Once this is over I will be back a bit more.

Hope all is well

Nicki xx

Glad your staying strong and smarter too with all that studying ya been doing. Lol wishing ya big brain waves to get that school stuff aced. Not my brain waves of course. cause yeah, you'll be doing them coures over if that was the case. Lol

Morning,

Standing firm when things are tough is very inspiring. Well done for staying bet free in a tough time and I truly hope things work out for you.

Flagg

Back to square 1.

Well I'm back and back to day 1. I try and try but anything I put in place I manage to still gamble. Sorry feeling pretty sh*tty today and thought time away from here would help but to stop think about gambling, but it isn't here it's me.

Does anyone know where I can get a sponser. I

Well I am putting the blocks back in place. Trying to find blocks for my iphone but there doesn't seem to be any. If anyone knows of one please let me know.

I'm sick of going back to square one now. I really want to give up and do not want to be a failure anymore. I know I can do it but lately have not been able to stop. I find any excuse to give me reason to gamble, but truly know that it is not the answer to my problems.

So today is the day where I start my new life (I truly mean it this time).

I hope everyone is well

N xx

Hey Nicki,

Sorry to see you back in such difficult circumstances! The great thing first and foremost is you can stop, people do stop and stay stopped! You have to find what works for you! Getting the blocks in place is a great start! For an iPhone use k9 I use it for mine! Get someone else to put in the password and then you are sorted! I have no issues with it!

You have to let go what has gone yes it's good to be aware of what's happened as a reminder but you can't beat yourself up as your mood will be low and the addiction will feed on that! Mayb don't think bout the days for a bit just get some consistency in posting here don't be afraid to write down how you feel and on the days there isn't much to report just say that! Posting here is often for me about just checking in ticking off a day! I've said It before but is something has beaten you and gambling has beaten us why fight, live alongside it instead keep it close enough to keep it at bay!

Good Luck Nicki, the support is here and you really can do this!!!

Flagg

Thank you Flagg.

At this point I'm feeling very negative, so don't feel I should post on here at the mo. my life is spiralling out of control and I don't know what I need to do

Hi Nicki,

This journey is like a rollercoaster ride full of ups and downs and sometimes it takes all our fight 2 start again. But u can do this I believe in u!

U r a strong lady, we r all here 4 u if u need us 🙂

Stay strong xxxx

Thanks Charlotte for your support.

Well I breath a sigh of relif. I have blocked my computer till 2015. Now to attempt to block the phone. I will attempt it with what flag said.

This is day one today. I need to change my life around, not just with the gambling but with many other things.

Hi silly26,

That's a brave step forward you are taking. Alot of folks go thru thier entire lives never pulling it together. Be proud of yourself today. I am. -joanxxxx

Thank you judy

Well I'm sitting outside GA dreading going in. My first meeting and I feel physically sick. I need to do this for myself and my family