Back to square 1

Silly26

wishing you well with GA - i am supporting my son on his recovery journey and he is going to on to ne counselling and it is helping him so much - details were given to him from Gamcare - wishing you all the support you need take care on this journey, remember take one day at a time and be proud of your recovery you can do it x

Hi W.J

Well done for finding the strength and courage to comming back on here. You know you will get nothing but support and advice so please keep posting as Flagg said, even just to put all your thoughts, fears and concerns down. So glad to hear you have put blocks in place. I personally feel, that if you are still at a vulnerable stage of your abstinance, these are vital. They can definitely mean the difference of thinking about gambling to sheer destruction. Be proud of yourself for doing this.

Take care and look after yourself.

Feb.

Hi W.J thank you for your post and I hope all is well with your son. Its fantastic that he has the support because not everyone has it, but I am lucky and do have support which I don't think I could do with out.

Thank you as well FEB :).

Day 2

Well I made it into GA and it was very daunting with all those men and me being the only female, but I over come it and it was worth it. They were friendly bunch its going to take me a bit of time to talk about my story but I will get there Im sure in the end.

Feeling so much more positve today now all the blocks are in place properly and I don't have any way of accessing it.

Well thats me for now

Take care

N xx

Hey Silly26,

I just wanted to wish you well on your journey to a gamble free life. I just went to my second G.A. meeting on Monday. I think it's a great support system and fellowship of many people with one common goal, abstinence and support.

Stay strong, and keep a good plan in place.

Chicagoguy

Keep up the good work Silly26 ... you can do it ... keep posting, and take care

Hi silly26,

Good for you sticking out the meeting and being the only gal in the room. That is tough! I went to 12 step meetings years ago for alcohol addiction and it was the best thing I could have ever done for myself and the people I love. You hang in there you hear? I'm really rooting for you darlin! -joanxxx

Hi Silly26

hope all is ok with you and you are enjoying this sunny weather - thank you for your post on my thread and I am so pleased that you too have support from your Mum.

Have a great week-end and look forward to seeing your posts J x

Back to square 1.

Well here I am admitting yet again I cannot do it alone. I'm a fool and have spent 100s since I last came on here. Last night was the final straw and it cannot go on. I will loose everything if I'm not careful.

Today is a new day.....

Day 1 begins

Hi silly

Well done for coming back and been honest always the best way no one will judge u just support the only person ur not helping is urself

Keep trying its the only way I'm now on 4 relapses but I won't give in , hopefully that slip is out of ur system and u can try again , try and learn a little each time mistakes are made look at the reasons why it happened and look at how to prevent that from happening

Ur right in saying u can't do it alone we all need support and this is the only place for me so if u dont av a lot of support in ur life then make full use of this site , I know there are days when u feel ur just goin through the motions but they will always come and go the key is dont leave without any support in place

Keep posting

Castle2

I'm sinking lower and lower. I have never ever been this bad. I can't keep going back to square one cause I'm going to loose everything. I just want to feel normal again, yet if I keep gambling I can't. I need help

Right I'm taking steps to begin this gamble free life.

Step 1: today I will close my current account so I can no longer have an unauthorised overdraft which I keep going into when gamble. Cash card for me only

Step 2: begin to pay debts off immediately.

Step 3: no overspending

Step 4: now I have my degree begin to find a job

Step 5: be positive about myself

Step 6: find ways to be more positive about myself and stop feeling depressed

Step 7: speak to someone about counselling.

This is a new day. No looking back only forward.

Thank you castle for you encouragement

Well my bank account is closed and I no longer have anyway of going into an unauthorised overdraft. My partner now knows and was furious when finding out. I think it was the lying that was the main concern. However I'm glad it's out in the open and perhaps she will offer the support.

Phoned Aquarius which I found hard to do, but have an appointment on the 30th July for the assessment. Not sure what happens after if counselling will be offered or I go on a waiting list, but least I'm in the right direction. Phoning Aquarius brought so many memories back. Right back to when I was ten and had to visits dad in the alcoholic rehabilitation place where he lived. It brought so many memories and a little shame that I have become something I didn't want to be (a addict like my dad). However I know I've done the right thing and I hope I'm heading in the right direction.

Went for a walk and it made me feel a tad better. Job interview tomorrow so will have to prepare for that.

I hope everyone is well.

hey silly26,

I just went through your diary, and have to say you are very strong and determined person, you should be very proud of yourself.It's very difficult to overcome this addiction, but it is possible.

Believe in yourself more and i wish you best of luck with the interview.

Stay strong and keep looking forward

Sandra

Thank you for your support Sandra

Day 7.

Had a pretty good week this week. Made the decision not to come on here everyday because I tend to become quite obsessed with this and my addiction moves onto something else then back again. Anyhows this week has been good last day of uni Friday- also last day of smoking as I promised I would quit once completed. So since me and my partner have both quit there has been a lot of tense moments this weekend. But at least we are quitting that's the main thing. I'm getting more cravings then I thought I would considering I didn't actually smoke a lot.

I haven't had any cravings to gamble. Not really thought about it till today.

Back to job hunting!

I hope all is well

Take care

Nicki

Day 9

Not doing to good today. No cravings for gambling at the moment. But me and my partner are arguing a lot, and my head is all over the place. Not sure if its the quitting smoking business but I've becoming quite hysterical of late. Last night out row was escalated from mince lamb to nearly splitting up.

Money is also an issue at the moment, I seriously new. a job but its taking longer then I thought. It's making me feel pretty worthless.

Any way sorry for the 'feeling sorry for myself post'

Take care all

Nic