Back to square 1

HI Silly,

It was a very brave thing that you did admitting a slip so take some pride from being completly honest with yourself.

Your human niki, be kind to yourself sometimes we get it wrong its not the end of the world as long as you learnt something from it.

What did you learn, i learnt that i cant place 1 single pound on gambling because "i cant win because i cant stop", so no matter what my addictive side of the brain tells me "go on 10 quid wont hurt" go on treat yourself, I know its lies because it wont end there, so i just dont place that first bet.

One day at a time nicki, take care and come back a little stronger with a bit more information about this addiction which will make you more equipped to deal with it.

Take care

Blondie x

Awe sorry to hear it girl. Guess I was always more apt to gamble when the kids were away. Don't know if it was out of boredom or just thought I deserved a break from it all. Guess it never turned out good either way. New day and a new year coming at us so always hope for a better tomorrow. Stay strong

Hi Nicki,

I am sorry 2 hear about ur slip xx

Thank u 4 being there 4 me last nite and ur kind words... It helped me 2 know that I was not alone!

I am happy 2 swap email addresses if u wanna talk away from this forum..Just let me know xxxx

Hey Nicki,

Really sorry to hear about your slip. I know many people have said it already but in some ways it takes more strength and determination to admit the slip and come back here to keep fighting.

Today I salute you and wish you well in the run up to New Year. There will be many focus threads in the New Year and I really look forward to continuing forward with you in 2013.

Flagg

Thank you everyone for the support!!

Well 4 days in and I'm still getting those little nudges to gamble. Why would I want to gamble when it's such a waste?! I know I won't win! I know it's useless so why would I gamble?? I'm hating this feeling

Hi, just read through most of your diary and then got to the last few posts.

It was sad to read that you slipped but it happens. It's not the end of the world. I know the feeling of a slip after a gamble-free period, it's not nice. The important thing is to put it behind you and try and gain a bit more strength from it. You did the right thing by posting in here because nobody (I would hope) is going to judge you for your slip.

I'm a compulsive gambler I've tried everything to stop but having started a diary of my own on here a couple of days ago, I feel that this could be my best chance by far. Hopefully! 🙂

What I would say about those godforsaken 'urges', they come they go but they are always lurking never far from the surface. I think the acceptance that you wll never completely get rid of the 'urge' and that you will have bad days is part of the process.

I know only too well that feeling after a few weeks gamble-free of a "hmmmm a little bet won't harm, I can control myself now". That's the urge getting the better of you and that is when you have to be at your strongest and resist (easier said than done, I know!). The fact is you will not be able to control it and even if you win and bank it you will only be back shortly afterwards to gamble the winnings and then some. Been there got the t-shirt etc! 🙂

Like you, I often ask myself WHY do I do it???? It makes no sense whatsoever does it?? :-/ You're obviously an intelligent girl who knows, before during and after gambling, that you are going to lose the money, so why do you do it? Again, it's an acceptance that, for whatever reason, it's in our DNA and we can't do anything about our susceptibility to it but we can learn to control it.

My advice would simply be to keep posting on here (when you can) on the good days and the not so good.

Best of luck!!

Thank you das for your support.

Unfortunately I did slip last night. Reached my limit on my credit card. Not feeling happy about it. Not sure why I did it. Perhaps the alchol. Day one begins today. One step at a time.

Day one 30/12/12

Right self exclusion done on as many as I could think of. Bloody phones.

Sorry to hear that. Hang in there with your recovery diary as you are doing so well. Don't dwell on the losses / slip, it's happened.

I don't want to say don't worry, the likelehood is it will happen again because that gives us the justification we are always looking for. The problem is we are always looking to justify our gambling binges. A classic of mine was "one final gambling stint before xyz". Where xyz was maybe the start of the New Year or my birthday. As daft as that sounds!

The urge is just so powerful isn't it. On good days it's non existent then from nowhere you are overwhelmed. Horrid.

Stay positive, let day one be today, I'm only two days ahead of you if that helps 🙂

Hey Nicki,

I am really sorry 2 hear sbout ur slip.... u can do this 🙂

It sounds like u have already taken a really positive step 2day and I am proud of u 🙂

2013 will be our yr 🙂

Stay strong xx

Hi Nicki,

Thank u 4 ur post, I know we can both do this...Even if it takes a little longer than we 1st thought!

We r both strong ppl and by not giving up...We will get there 🙂 I truly believe that 🙂

Have a gr8 day xx

Hi Nicki,

Thank u 4 ur post on my diary. It means a lot 🙂

Yeh, the cube is a good game...Altho I could not get past the 2nd round lol ... It is good if u wanna laugh 🙂

I hope u r ok and staying strong 🙂 xx

Hope you've made it through the day all OK Nicki. I know the feeling after a slip, that motivation starts to slip as you start to feel you are unable to do it. You can!

A bit of good news for you, I posted I was a couple of days ahead of you, just checked back at my first diary entry and realised I'm only on day 2 today! Feels like weeks! 🙂 x

Thanks das and Charlotte.

Day 2 begins and has no urges. Going to have a drink tonight though so will have to Get my partner to hold the cards so I'm not tempted. Going to cut up my credit cards so can't be tempted again. I'm determined to pay them off 2014!

Got to go to the library today and get done this dissertation done 9300 words to do in 17 days I feel stressed :(. So going to be working hard today which sucks I'd love to spend it with my partner and son. May everyone have a happy new year, and for this to be the year gamble free!!

Nicki x

Good luck with your dissertation Nicki ! You may be away from your partner and son but at least you are away for a good reason.

Soooo much more rewarding than not spending time with them because you're gambling or as a consequence of you gambling the day before.

2013 (and the last day of 2012!!) gamble-free x