Back to Square One

Hey Duncs, you are right about going at things gung-ho! My mind is whirring with possibilities today. I've realised that there's more to recovery than just stopping gambling. I need to make some life changes to avoid getting 5 or 6 months down the line and then going back to 'it'

I've finished work for the weekend now and I'm going to use this afternoon to try and plan just what these changes should be.

My short-term goals involve:

Stopping gambling (obviously!)

Paying off debts

Healthier eating

Start running again (got up to 5 miles at the end of October then just stopped when full-on gambling took hold)

Sort out fishing gear for when the weather improves

Start taking photographs again

Wow, think I've got plenty to go at there! Gambling won't have chance of a look in!

DAY 8

Had some strong urges to bet on today's football. I guess been at home on a Saturday with no plans has led to these thoughts. I've managed to snap out of it, and instead I've spent £12 on a new computer game that is downloading now.

I need to plan my weekends a bit better so that I don't end up waking up on a Saturday thinking - now what? A bet on the football would be fatal because I can't deal with losing and would end up on the roulette - which is were my problem lies.

DAY 9

Yesterday was a tricky day but I got through it without gambling. It was the first Saturday since early October that I didn't have a bet, so I did miss it. I didn't do a great deal which was kind of frustrating but the lack of money and bad weather put paid to that.

Today should be a better day. I'm taking my mum out for lunch. It will be nice to spend my money on other people for a change rather than selfishly gambling it all.

Tomorrow, I'm starting a healthy eating plan which I'm quite looking forward to. The food shop is ordered and is getting delivered later on today.

Time to look to the future rather than dwell on the years I've wasted.

NO MORE GAMBLING.

Paul

i have just been reading through your thread.

Im a long time reader of this forum but rarely post.

just wnated to wish you luck.

My feelings resonated with yours when you posted about old hobbies that have been neglected and gambling remaining constant in your life.

Like you i have a few debts to pay of but to be hoenst their not much just nmeans cutting back 2-3 months but Ah well its cold out anyway.

Plenty of fun things to do in doors.

Anyway I set a reminder in my phone monthly of 1 month free, 2 month free etc and More so i put on my mirror a Little piece of paper with the date 11/10/2012 The date I last gambled just for that tiny bit of motivation every morning.

good Luck

Thank you for your comments, land.

The complete lack of interest in my hobbies, relationships and work is what's really snapped me out of this recent gambling episode. If I'm no longer interested in those things, then I'm no longer interested in life... and where does one go in that situation? When I'm gambling I'm completely consumed by studying form, tipsters, the ins and outs of my bank account (probably logging onto internet banking hourly) - it's a totally pointless exercise because I always lose my money and get myself worked up emotionally along the way.

As ever, this forum is proving to be invaluable in my fight against this problem. I'm at day 9 now, I think, and I'm really pleased with myself so far. I need to remember not to get complacent which has ultimately been my down fall in the past.

Paul

great line one to remember.

Its pointless because i always end up losing my money.

Sometimes it is in black and white.

Well for 9 days fella you changed.

You did not lose because you did stop.

Keep making a choice.

Each days abstinence brings me a drop more vigour towards life, the same through awarding yourself that 100% payrise will happen to you.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Well done on reaching 9 days gamble free you've been thinking a lot recently how you can better you're life and you are doing that already by not gambling. You must feel better for it each days even if the urges are a burden we can both fend them off mate. Keep going pal

DAY 10

Into double figures! I am very pleased to have broken free from my last gambling binge.

The way I fell back into the murky gambling world will prove a valuable lesson to me in my recovery. It was quite worrying how I deluded myself that it would be different this time round. I even tried a 'professional' approach, betting banks, records of every bet, controlled % stakes etc... it just doesn't work with me and never will! I can't take losing sports bets and end up chasing on roulette which has to be the stupidest possible way of trying to get my money back imaginable.

Must keep my focus and strive to never return to that way of thinking.

DAY 11

No gambling.

DAY 12

Feeling very positive at the moment. My head is full of ideas about things to do instead of gambling. Think it's important I don't procrastinate too much so it will be interesting to see what I can make of the coming weekend.

My last gambling episode seems like a distant memory right now, and I'm actually enjoying the recovery journey.

It's pay day tomorrow and I've budgeted everything and know which debts I want to tackle first.

Last bet 12th January 2013

DAY 13

Pay-day today and the weekend to look forward.

The urge to gamble today is non-existent. Two weeks ago I was consumed by gambling. I'm amazed at how quickly my attitudes have changed and how positive I'm feeling.

The snow and ice has finally cleared round here so this afternoon I'm kick-starting my running with a view to doing a half-marathon in the summer. Something to focus the mind on.

Complacency is now my biggest enemy.

Hi

Paul thanks for taking a few minutes to post on my Diary. I agree with you 100 percent but the devil on my shoulder tells me with a few tweaks here and there everything will be fine how wrong I am. But there is a certain madness to this but I totally agree with the all consuming nature of this.

Michael

Paul

some great advice you gave lucky mike today fella.

So glad to see your positive attitude rubbing off upon other members.

Well done.

Keep up the great work.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

DAY 14

Well, I didn't end up running yesterday afternoon. There was still a fair bit of ice on the ground and I don't want an injury! That was my excuse anyway. I was also tired and spent the afternoon lazing around to the point were I got angry with myself. In the past this type of situation might have ended up with me gambling, but yesterday I rose above it.

Feeling positive again today. I want to raise my standards, from what I eat, the clothes I wear, personal hygiene - all this 'normal' stuff gets forgotten about when you've been consumed by gambling for so long.

I've done some housework this morning now I'm off out for a walk in the snow!

Have a good gamble-free weekend everyone.

Impressed with your resliance Paul.

Agree with what you say about needing to fill the void, something which I'm having to address on this Saturday. It's a mistake to think that stopping gambling will necessarily solve all your problems. It does at least provide a platform at to address these, which is a start.

Good luck