Back to Square One

No gambling yesterday, and there will be no gambling today.

24 days since my last bet!

Great platform for 2012 to be the year I knock gambling on the head for good.

Brilliant news, well done mate.

Just think how you felt 24 days ago and how you are feeling right now.

How about thinking about how you would feel this time next year when you are still gamble-free?

Now that's a nice thought!

GT

Day 29

No gambling problems.

I'm in a very precarious financial position for various reasons (not all gambling) so a gambling blowout at this point would be financial suicide.

well done paul you are doing really well im hoping to follow the same footsteps, i am 5 days gamble free ive not yet really had the hardest parts of my recovery yet eg getting paid, start to spend money on things, i get a feeling i have to win the money back i spend even if its £20 on petrol, its going to be a very hard time for me but i will quit i have to i will.

well done again

Thank you Paul. Good luck in your own recovery, you have come to the right place!

Day 31

No gambling.

On the edge both financially and emotionally at the moment as the bills start to come through. Car is in for repair and the house needs repairing from the storms...

Gambling not an option.

DAY 36

No gambling problems.

I started a new job today. As I walked to the office I passed a bookies which is only two minutes away, and said to myself 'I must stay out of there' - and that's what I am going to do.

Got a big chance with this new job, don't want to mess everything up again by returning to my old ways.

Last gamble December 3rd 2011

DAY 44

No gambling problems.

I haven't felt the need to post or read here at all this week, but I must not forget that I am still very much a recovering compulsive gambler.

In my new job I discovered that they offer employees a confidential counselling service for any of life's problems, so I know that is there should I need it.

Last gamble 3rd December 2011

DAY 56

I haven't been coming here much recently, but think I should.

I have had no gambling urges up until this weekend. I can't put my finger on why, but the important thing is I haven't acted on them.

Got 56 days gamble free under my belt and don't want to mess up all my hard work on a stupid £5 football bet that will inevitably lose then I'll lose £££s chasing...

Last gamble 3rd December 2011

Day 59

Car repairs, girlfriend nagging about a holiday, friends planning stag dos, birthdays... it really is a good job I don't gamble anymore!

Last gamble December 3rd 2011

I haven't posted since 1st February, and I'm disappointed to say that I've returned to my old ways.

I've been gambling again for about a month and my already large debts have increased by around 5%

Banks won't give me anymore credit at the moment which is probably a good thing - and I'm in for a rough 6 or 7 months financially until one of my loans and a hire purchase payment ends. Then I can reassess and hopefully juggle my existing debt around so that I'm not paying so much interest.

I haven't told my girlfriend or parents, as this is not really an option for me. I respect that for some people it is best to get things out in the open - but for me, I am going to fight this battle on my own. Well, with the help of this forum and perhaps some counselling.

I can't quite remember what the trigger was that saw me descend into madness again.

I've managed to get around betfilter by gambling on my phone and have also been going in betting shops more than I used to.

I must be a very devious person to go to the lengths I do to continually lie to my loved ones... yet it comes so easy.

So, this is day one again.

The most important thing in my life is to stop gambling for good, otherwise we all know what will happen.

This is going to be the hardest thing I've ever done, but I must try - I have no choice anymore.

Last gamble 20th April 2012

Hi Paul,

Well done on coming back to this forum, it shows already to me that you want to stop.

I am like you, I went from the 18th of February for 46 days bet free then became complacent maybe and opened up that can of worms again and blew a grand over the last 10 days. We will both start on day 1 together and help each other out.

I respect you want to fight this battle without confiding in your family or girlfriend by telling them your secrets, which I respect and it shows you are brave and determined to go it alone. I will be getting councelling and so by the sounds of it will you, so good on you.

Get those blocks in place, hand over finances to someone else you trust because it will start building up again and try again.

I am here for you.

Wilsy

DAY 2

No gambling problems.

I'm quite good in these early stages of recovery, I've had a lot of practice. It's almost as if I take comfort and security from not having any money, and feel positive about what the future may hold.

The problems return some way down the line when I'm almost on a level, have my debts in order and have a little money for living, rather than just surviving.

I get so close to being comfortable, but then just hit the self-destruct button and the whole cycle starts over.

Things can be different this time, but I'm under no illusion it's going to be a hell of a challenge.

You're back on your diary...

...and that is what really matters.

You have just proved to yourself and us all on here how desperate you are to beat this madness.

And you WILL.

Just keep making all the right choices, eh?

NT

Thanks NT. I read your recent diary entries this afternoon and they quite possibly stopped me gambling today.

I haven't done much today apart from a few household chores, and I was bored this afternoon watching the football results thinking about having a bet, so I read a few diaries on here instead.

I won't gamble today.

DAY 3

Now that the madness of my latest gambling episode has subsided, I'm left with the familiar feelings of withdrawal.

Worry

Sleepless nights

Irritability

Isolation

Worthlessness

The list could go on. Why on earth do I do this to myself, why haven't I learned yet?

It goes without saying that I don't gamble anymore, despite the urges. I have just about enough money to get by, but lose anymore and I will be in serious trouble.