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11 days! Longest I’ve gone in years it feels great and all I want to do now is add to those days and carry on feeling good and ‘clean’. Any addiction makes you feel ‘dirty’ doesn’t it. I feel new and revived long may it continue all the best everyone X

Just thinking it’s payday next Wednesday and instantly went to default gambling thought so so easy it’s scary but I want to carry on feeling like this and I’m accountable to my husband (even though he doesn’t know, I do!) I’m learning to see the thoughts for what they are as my counsellor has been teaching me and it works. Still scary though how fast I can go from gf thoughts to thinking of ways to gamble. I probably waffle a lot on here but it really helps to offload and I’ll take anything that helps me stay gf! Onto 12 days tonight feels good X

Thank you for posting on my diary Lulu.

It is good to see your positive attitude and proactive approach. You are doing really well and are already11 days away from your last gamble. Take pride in your achievement and have a lovely weekend.

Wishing you peace, contentment and happiness ...stephen x

Hi lulu, Wolf whistle for those legs 11!!
I've left a message on my diary for you.
All good wishes.
Ps.when youve got a minute think of what you can buy yourslef out of your payday wages. Even if its just a little thing - dont even think of giving it to the big fat cat gambling sites, you've given them enough, now it's time to treat yourself - because you're worth it!! X

Thanks Stephen and lml x still feel positive especially logging in and seeing 12 days! Did have bit of a wobble yesterday but got stuck into my bookkeeping course 🙂 it’s definitely took my mind off the thoughts! 🙂 no their not having anymore of our money lml makes me sick to think how rich I’ve made the b******s! Thanks both! Onwards & upwards stay gf! Xxx

12 days! Had little wobble yesterday thought of searching again for a site but even if I could one it won’t load games so very glad of blocks. Best wishes everyone stay gf! X

Thinking about my wobble yesterday, it wasn’t really an urge just a thought but those thoughts are just as dangerous as the urges, none today, wanted the ‘comfort’ though of coming on here knowing I’m not alone dealing with this addiction. I still can’t believe I feel so positive, one problem though reared it’s head, the fact that I can never gamble again, nothing at all ever, kind of bought me down so I read some brilliant advice on here that not to think that way and just take it a day at a time thank you to that person who wrote that, it sorted my head out. 13 days tonight, it’s clocking up, one day at a time best wishes all x

Hello Lulu,

I very much went through that point too. As much as i could see the damage it had done it was still a little crazy to think that i had to call time on gambling. Afterall its been such a massive part of our lives. Nobody likes the idea of "losing" something, even if that something is taking everything off us!

Took me a couple of months to see how crazy that thought was though. I look at how much damage it did to me, even more than just financially and i think "why did i think i still needed to punish myself by gambling ever again?".

It'll pass, you're doing well. Have a good week =)

Hi sjw thank you for your post, it is crazy how we want to go back to the devastation of gambling! I keep knocking that thought on the head but it persists really glad you’ve said it’ll pass 🙂 that’s cheered me up. I’m battling in my head again but still positive because I knew this would happen after especially the devastation I felt last relapse fades. It’s such a long learning curve isn’t it, like I say I think that’s why I’ve stayed positive cos I accepted that when I stopped and started to accept I can never gamble again only started to accept though not fully accepted but like you say it’ll pass, thanks sjw I needed to hear that best wishes x

13 days still positive but more wobbles had to deal with but have dealt with them and every time I do I feel a little stronger. Beginning to accept it’s also going to be a lifelong addiction but you go into remission. Also the wobbles were from adverts of online casinos where they show the slots being played (oh and of course winning!) that bought on an actual urge not just thought but dealt with it by distraction and coming on here. Can’t quite *** though what a strong reaction I had on seeing slots being played, they really know what they’re doing don’t they, well like you said lml don’t give the fat cat casinos any more of our money! They aren’t getting it! Bit sick of how well off I’ve helped make a lot of these casinos but that’s past, written off here and now counts and one day at a time best wishes everyone

Hi Lulu

Great you are still gamble free and not giving into temptation, those adverts should be banned as they are in some countries. Keep fighting and it will get easier I promise, one day at a time.

Shaun

Hi Shaun thank you it’s good to hear that. Yes they should be banned totally agree, the effect it had on me and probably other poor folks isn’t good at all. Really appreciate your support:) x

14 days tonight and payday Wednesday but I feel totally positive and there’s no way they are getting a penny more out of me. I’m looking forward to being able to pay some bills and actually have money in my bank longer than a few hours, it makes me cringe to think I put myself through the payday then in a few hours broke wondering how I’d get by rest of month. Not ever again. I’ll read this back when I struggle too. Hope everyone good and gf best of wishes x

Just realised 14 days tonight is two weeks!

Well done on 2 weeks Lulu, might be a good idea to work out a budget before you get paid?