Battling today with the demons

Thank you. Each day is so different an so glad woke up with a clear head an no urges. Had a lovely day. Sat out in garden with my puppy. Bought her a tiny paddling pool to keep her cool lol. Saw Doctor an sorted out a plan. Just had curry then trifle so stuffed! But feeling so much better with positive thoughts.

Hi Mary, thanks for popping over and your kind words of support.
Day 29 is brilliant and glad to see you heave surrounded yourself with family and treats. I too feel better when the suns out and so a great time ahead for us and our gardens.
Take care and keep strong and focused
Cheryl xxx

Thank you Cheryl. Day started not too bad. Visited some friends but have gone down with sickness an diarea so feeling bit down. Had a bath an couldn't stop thinking about wanting to play but haven't but wondering if can sustain from gambling as know it's destructive but still haven't found that something to replace it. Keep busy an don't give it a thought in day but the evenings are harder. Will endeavour to get out my art stuff Tomo an get back into my painting 🙁

Hi Mary,

Hope you are feeling better today, and what's this lol, how many diaries have you got 🙂

Keep strong and keep going, you are doing great.

Suzanne xxx

Thank you Suzanne. I did another thread when I first joined. Thought they connected lol. No gambling thoughts today but blooming rain so don't fancy going out an should do Housework. Have to work myself up to plugging in vacuum lol. So slobbing out an watching soaps. Mary

Had an ok day. Same old urges sneak in the evening and did look at my lappy with adoring eyes but thankfully have blocks in place and to be honest it soon passed. An old friend of mine rang me up to say she was in the Arcade in town but I told her I had excluded myself. She thinks she is in control but only a few months ago she rang me to say she was going to exclude as she had spent savings put by for her holiday. Yes she did exclude but then another new one opened at the top of the high street so she went in there. We have been friends for years and a lot of those were spent in the Arcades but lately I have tried not to be around her as I dont want to talk about gambling unless she has quit too but cant see that happening. But not a bad day as no gambling. Take care all Mary

Keep going Mary, you are winning now in every way, each urge you ignore makes you soooo much stronger.

I hope your friend finds recovery very soon,

Suzanne xxx

Good sunshine morning Suzanne and thank you for your continued support, alwas welcome x

Am sat in bed with lappy whilst puppy runs havoc around garden. Her favourite toy is an old plastic milk container, totally ignores all the purpose made teething toys lol. Have to admit dont think I could have quit the "G" if I didnt have her as she fills a lot of my old "negative" time as very demanding little girl! taking her to a car boot laters as do luv my bargains, which now keeping my money in the bank, are bargains when I buy a top for 50p. Will see if daughter and a couple of the grand kiddies want to come. And so what if i spend about £20? nothing compared with what we get and the joy on their faces. £20??? gone in less than five minutes when "G". Will keep reminding myself of how futile it is to "G".

How do I join the Challenge? as think I posted on their once by mistake lol and not sure how to get back on it as think it will keep me encouraged. Take care all and enjoy the sun. Mary

Need a good talking to! Urges are driving me mad. Will have to have early night as feel tired an irritable.

Hi Mary, keep strong, they will go, have a hot bath ( with a cheeky drink) if you can't settle,

To join the challenge, you just need to post twice in the first week, stating your days, and a bit about yourself, on Bornagains challenge thread,

Stay strong tonight and keep safe.

Suzanne xxx

Hi Mary,

Stay strong the urges pass. I know how you feel the irritability and tiredness this condition can bring is bad at times but keep going you're doing great. I know what you mean about needing a good talking to sometimes. I just zone out and nothing gets in but one track gambling mind.

Good morning Suzanne an Relapse an thank you for your kind words of encouragement. 🙂

Just did long post rabbiting on but it didn't post lol however just writing it down got rid of a lot of the niggles to start the day!

take care Mary

Hi Mary,

I am delighted to see you clocking up the days! Keep resisting those urges. I know they can be strong and it's as if we are being pulled back into gambling but we have to starve the addiction. If we give in we are feeding those urges and we are back on that non stop train to hell. You should be so proud that you don't visit the arcades/amusement centres any more. That's what we call them over here in Galway. I spent hours sitting on one of those high stools, week in week out. I spoke to women who did not collect the kids on time from school. They could not leave their machine. It is an awful way to live but at the time you don't know any other way of life. You are doing so well. The urges will come on strongly but it is like someone knocking loudly on your door. You don't have to let them in. The urges pass. They always do. These diaries are great because we are all on the same wavelength. Non gamblers just don't get it. They think you quit and that's the end of it but of course it's not. Enjoy your Sunday evening Mary and keep posting when the urges are strong. Suzy

Suzy you hit the nail on the head there, it is very good to read diarys and entries from others that have gone through the same things. you are absolutely right when you talk of non-gamblers, i cant count the number of times people have said to me why dont you just stop. A family member expected my first attempt to quit to be an end to it. i can understand why they think that but its not even half the story. Quitting this can involve an enormous change in thinking and lifestyle, its a double edge sword as once you quit you have more time on your hands and yet in some cases boredom and too much time on your hands is the reason some gambled in the first place. So new hobbies or re-newing old hobbies at least are key to recovery.

Hi it has been a day of sudden strong urges today. On way home from parents an thought pops in my head "why don't u play Bingo. It won't hurt an bet you win. Go on just do it"

Well didn't thankfully but not happy with these thoughts.

Suzanne I have been to Galway about 8 years ago with a bunch of girls. Went racing then my friend basically hijacked a bus of older men on a working mans outing lol. Got them to change their route an ended up in a lively old pub an we danced the night away. They were singing old songs an said it was best Working Mans outing they had had in years lol. Lovely people an great atmosphere an would love to go again. X