Battling today with the demons

Second that what Suzy has written, On passing 50 days and belated birthday wishes lol.

Suzanne xxx

Well done for making it to day 50 and now 52!!!

Happy birthday, hope you had a good day and you enjoyed your well deserved treats

Thank you Luke, Suzanne Susy for birthday wishes. Have had a few dangerous days as friend been round an she talks about how much she spent then won in arcade an it did give me itchy fingers. But haven't given in as keep reminding myself of all that money an time wasted. And want to end up despising 'G' an don't like it when out of the blue the urges come back an make life harder to handle. Will be more in touch on here now as good internet from today. Take care all Mary x

just checking in. urges gone away again today so all good. Been busy bee lately and days just wizzing by. Think having my puppy helps as by myself she fills that gap of silence as she is very demanding little thing, getting more human by the day as whines to have a shower, peeks outside at the neighbours and barks if i am on the phone or laptop lol. also before I had no reason to rush home from the Arcade or get off the laptop, now I have another living creature to care for and take for walks etc which stops me getting into bad habits, also might lose a few lbs!

Starting to realise it is an ongoing battle as for ages had no urges then the other day they surfaced and cant say I find them very pleasant and have to keep telling myself to fight them so was nice to wake up today and feel nothing. good night all and take care Mary

A very active day doing housework. No urges so all good. Am on a savings splurge now not able to have so many treats but feels good knowing what money goes in is still there!

Hi Mary, well done on 58 days. That's nearly 2 months of starving the gambling urges. You are doing so well. Problem gambling escalates and we have to give it up sometime. We never win because we pour it all back in. It's great to see you making the right choices. Suzy

thank you GT ad Suzy, always appreciate the support. So true Suzy that gambling escalates and yes unless we have never ending funds and time, we have to give it up!! and I was one of those that never had the Stop button so yes never won in the end. And GT was loving my treats but realised I have to be sensible now and cut back but not all the time lol treats keep me motivated.

Its so nice to have a sense of normality back in my life. I go to bed about 10pm nowadays, get up at 7.30am and my day goes to quickly. Before I would be up till 4am gambling online then get up about 10am then gambling in the afternoon then evening. My thoughts were filled with either dread because of the spending or adrenaline rush if I was winning. Then it got boring and daft as it may seem, the more boring it was the more I spent? thats when I decided it was something I needed to get rid of out of my life. But such a long term habit does take time to break and I know I will have to continue to make the choice not to gamble, never go back as am afraid that adrenaline rush will take over and my brain go back into that stupid vegetable state! do wish (just a little regret does still creep in) that I had come to my senses a few thousand pounds back!!

Am really chuffed though that the gap I thought Gambling filled somehow got replaced just doing normal things. Thought it I didnt find a hobby I would miss the gambling but everything seemed to slot ito place naturally.

My one treat per week is to go to the local charity shop and they have a fantastic pound rail. Could go into town and afford to buy new but get such a buzz when I get New items with labels on for a quid and my wardrobe is full now so I just recyle and give what I dont want back to Charity shop, so good for the environment and good for me!

Take care all Mary x

had a good night out last night. Had fun but perhaps a bit too much alcohol as suffered today! would have had laptop on playing bingo or slots before, but catching up with movies and actually watching them as again before I would be concentrating on laptop and only see half the movie. Normal life is good again. take care all Mary x

Well done Mary, keep going.

Suzanne xxx

Thank you Suzanne x

Feeling really down and insecure tonight. Dont think I will sleep well. Sometimes family can cause so much stress and things get said that are so petty really but I am and always have been a worrier so wont settle. A few months ago I know for definite I would have sought solace on the bingo sites, just hiding my head in the sand but now I will be getting into a good kindle read and hope my eyelids will be so tired they will close and I can sleep. I often used to have unsettled nights but that was the anxiety gambling caused so the odd difficult nights sleep is to be expected with what life throws up I suppose.

Hope I wake up to a stress free day as do not like feeling so down 🙁

Hi Mary, sorry to see you are caught up in family dramas. It would be so easy to go back to bingo/slots but you know the family dramas will still be there when your money is all gone. We have to take a deep breath and tackle the family stuff. Every family goes through it from time to time. There's always one that stirs things up. Just be glad you have your own space to care about the most important one of all and that is you. The kindle is a great idea and you can relax with a good read for a while. Everything is changing for you now that you have quit gambling but it is happening so slowly that it is only when you stop and look back that you see the challenges you have overcome. Be proud of yourself, you are retraining your brain and fighting those urges. Keep posting, Suzy

Thank you so much Suzy. Needed to read your positive reply. yes will take a deep breath and am glad I have my own space and will try and look after myself so I can then be in the right place mentally to cope. Do appreciate your sensible slant on things and always appreciate your posts.

Mary xx

Thanks Mary, any tips will be much appreciated,

Any stress or change can if not focused and strong, can sooo easily lead us back to gambling, just push through and think if I gamble I will make things even worse.

Take care and have a good strong day.

Suzanne xxx

Hi Mary

Life without gambling us a happy one, keep going.

Paul

Thank you. Although bad neighbour back again so hoping her time being sectioned has made her less aggressive! Am now in positive mood an no thoughts of gambling. Been to visit parents an now chilling. Lot cooler today. Yesterday took my puppy to training classes an first she was sick then piddled on floor lol. So not a good start but sure she will improve. Just glad I get up in morning nowadays an don't yearn for gambling. Take care all

Mary x