Becoming me again

Hello - after a successful weekend of not gambling I am on day 3 today.

A couple of interesting things I noted.

On Saturday, I watched the Super Rugby quarter final between Crusaders and Hurricanes. It was a great game, really competitive. Normally I would be putting money on the handicap betting (crusaders -10 points etc), and be tense all the ay through hoping for my bet to win. None of that on this occasion - I enjoyed watching without this stress. In saying that, I did often throughout the game think about what I would be betting on, so clearly this is going to be hard for me.

On Sunday, I went out to my mother/father in law's house, to help them with some jobs on the family farm. I grew up on a farm, and love being out there, same with my mum and dad's farm. When working there, I didn't think about gambling at all. I just enjoy being there. If I could afford it I would go and live on a farm with my family, but gambling has meant I can't afford that. Maybe one day.

Anyway the important think I took from my weekend is that if I do things I truly enjoy doing, then I don't think about gambling while doing them. Same goes for spending time with people I enjoy spending time with.

Have a great day everyone.

Hi BigAl,

The difference between your first and second post on this thread is very noticeable. You were speaking in the first post about feeling anxious and depressed and just 4 days later in the second post about how much you enjoyed your time away on the family farm. I am so glad that you have managed to be 3 days gambling-free today. Registering for Gamstop and keeping in touch on here via a recovery diary to track this progress for yourself and have supportive comments from your peers are great first steps. Keep up the good work! 

Feel free to contact us on the Helpline 0808 8020 133 or Netline to speak one-to-one to an Adviser between 8am and midnight 7 days a week.

Best Wishes

Forum Admin

Well here I am, exactly three months since my last post. I'm ashamed to say that I have gambled a lot during that time. Mainly unsuccessfully, as per usual.

Why have I come back here today? Well I just lost £100 in a betting shop in my lunch hour. To be honest, that's not that uncommon. Why the difference today? Well when I was in there, 2 drug addicts came in, both of whom had been banned previously  for threatening behavior. On this occasion, one of them made a very vile threat to the staff member behind the till, which I won't go too much into.  Threatened to use a knife on him essentially.

Addiction is an awful thing, but I believe it can be beaten. Do I want to end up like those two? Goodness me no. Do I want to end up like the countless elderly men that I see in the bookies every time I go in? No.

Do I want to be a man and provide properly for my family? Yes. I have to stop spending my hard earned money on gambling. I have to stop begging my wife to give me money for one last bet.

October 1, 2019. I hope this can be a start of a better period in life for me. I know deep down that my life can only get better if I stop gambling.

Alan

From One Alan to another get BLOCKS in Place that is a start (it does help) register with every block charity etc that there is! also I would recommend one of those top up debit cards. You dont need real cash 99% of the time nowadays and the most important thing is make sure your obviously loving wife is strict as hell with you (which must be very very hard for her). You need to break the cycle and find something or a means to help you through the dark times. and don't ever quit. You fall down and pick yourself up. You fall down again and pick yourself up again but you HAVE to keep going and you will succeed!