B*****k's to Gambling! JP.x

Hi Ya

Good to hear you sounding so positive.

Keep doing what your doing , it is obviously working.

Get through tomorrow and that will be more money for your trip,.

Stay strong

Dusty

Hya pete

Good luck for payday. Whatever you do don't get a mullet! It's good to read how u take practical steps with your finances to prevent relapsing.

Becky

(Scampimus)

Day 27

Ok, bad nights sleep, things racing around my head just like old times... I woke up at 02:00 am and normally would have made myself a coffee, grabbed my credit card and deposited online till I had to leave for work... Not today, but heh, that Thursday night sleep and others i guess will take time to overcome as I was so used to that!

I dont think it helped that I watched a program on BBC Iplayer (BBC3) called Gambling, addiction and the Real Hustler! This shows a bit of science behind us compulsive gamblers brains and it wasvery informative, but also full of spinning reels!!!! I am glad I watched it as I think it will help me, if you get the chance please watch it. If your in the US you might not be able to (however if you search on youtube I am sure somebody will upload it at some point). The link for BBCIPlayer and the program is here if you have not seen it already.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/…tion_and_Me_The_Real_Hustler/

Really worth the watch. Ps... The presenter actually enters the GAMCARE ofices and takes a call from a problem gamblers wife who has really just about gambled their home away. Disturbing

Ok, off to withdraw all my wages, paid my phone bill, paid my catalogue yippee (those two card deposits for a change feel good rather than keep saying, i ll pay them next week, another week until i get cut off!

Take care all, good luck and have a great day!

C you tonight.

Pete.

Morning early bird,

Good for you, your determination to beat this shines through in your post.

I watched that programme as well, did not get me all reflective but did spend all day thinking about Mark.

Think it is part of the process, thoughts and feeling we have to go through to give us more strength to beat this. Although at the time when the thoughts replay and replay we wish they would subside.

I used to obsess about my dept, hours and hours of adding up the same figures, trying to find a different answer but it was always the same

Keep going. Imagine that satisfaction next week when you cut those cards off. I got a credit card bill this week for £1.22 which I have now paid and from being 1000s in dept on it I am £1and 78p in credit.

That seemed impossible 8 months ago.

Hope you have a good day.

Roll on the weekend

Dusty

Morning! Enjoyed readign you diary today. I'd recommend you do, too so you can see how far you've come in such a short time. You seem like you're in a good place at the moment and I particularly enjoyed reading you are able to spend money on making yourself and others happy. Grats buddy - have a great weekend.

I thought It would never happen, feeling so positive, all is good in the world and I left myself vulnerable...

I withdrew my wages this morning but the cash point I went too withdraw £350 only had £320 in there, ok so I thought that's ok, when I get home I will put that extra 30 on my catalogue...

I get's home, after having 7 pints in the pub with the guy's from work (ritual by the way), ordered a takeaway and thought to myself, ok, well 30 not to bad, lets do it... Well in fact. I got the £710.00 mini jackpot on one of the slots. I was stressed still, I know why, because i did so good and now I have failed . But heh, I cashed £500.00 this time, and played with the other 250, o*g, will this ever end. Anyway, I came here because of this. and to tell my story, maybe it may help somebody down the road. I hope so.. Not so positive today, but I am gonna wake up strong. SoSo sorry everybody, I feel I have let the whole world down.

Peter.

Sorry...

pete.

thanks for posting fella.

pick up sticks and start again fella.You had a lucky day please take it as a lesson that you have not done your lot,next time will you. For me fella a win just kept the game pley going a little longer to gamble i would lose.

duncs stepping forward use your courage pete just for today NO BET

Pete,

Wise words from Duncan.

Stay strong and re-focus.

gazza

Hya Pete

Sorry to hear about the other night mate. You luckily didn't lose but don't let this motivate you to continue gambling. We can often think well I didn't have this money anyway so if I just use it as my stake I haven't really lost anything but you will have, you'll be losing the fight against your addiction and however much more money you end up betting once you've lost your 'stake'. Please just let this be a blip if you disappear where will my regular fix of bad hair jokes come from?! Think of what you've already achieved. Don't let this ruin what could be a happy life.

With support

Becky

Hi Peter,

Spect your get this early morning before work.

Your blip was just that we have all done it , so appoligies needed. ( I did it far more times than I like to remember)

But each time I never gave up giving up. and this time maybe I am getting it right. For today any way.

That trip away is still there all be it a week later.

Keep posting ,

Take care

Dusty

You had a blip mate. The good thing is you ARE being hard on yourself because you know it could so easily have gone the other other way and you walk out £300 down. IMO, that is the right thing to do because if you just wave it away then it doesn't matter if you gamble or not. Like all of us, you WANT to be gamble free and we all recognise that we need to make changes in our lifestyle to allow this to happen. You may need to adjust the amount of cash you carry around with you or even stay away from any temptation until you are strong enough.

You can do it and everyone is rooting for you.

Have a great week.

Hya Pete

It's been a few days now mate don't mean to sound like a stalker but wana know how you're doing lol. Even if you're in a bad place discussing it's gotta be better than being alone.

With support and a pinch of worry

Becky x

Hi everybody,

Facing the demons once more, thanks Duncamac, Fairy, Scampimus, gazza, JS123, and all, all wise information and I love you all (sorry fellas! hehe). I had to take some time out and contemplate some things...

I get all shy and personal, in real life when things like this happen, heh, this just shows you what gambling does to you as the same happened n my diary. I feel proud to say that I have not gambled since the day after the slip and that the moneys' I saved prior with the additional is accumulating nicely! I woke up weak the next day, I was kinda saying to myself all day that that is dirty money and just urged to put it all back in, so guess what... I did. For some strange reason, i thought if that money goes back into my account then I would be waiting for it and say..Lets put a few quid back in as it's "Up" money, and we all know it's not! So I bet high and £500.00 gone in a matter of minutes, strangely that felt good, payday came, i did the same as prior to my slip, paid my bills drew the rest out and all is still good on the Northern front!

Not hiding no more, will try my upbeat to get on here all the time, it helped before will help again! Wish the slip never happened, but heh, just another step in the right direction I guess, learning all the time. Feeling good again, dont want to gamble... EVER

Pete

Pete.

It takes a big man to admit his mistakes and you have done that with grace so dont beat on yourself fella you have removed the famous gambling goggles we once wore and one day at a time the world gets a little better in focus.

keep at it fella you can do this a gamble free life the place we all want to be!!

duncs one day more stepping forward.