I joined this forum what seems an eternity ago. Reading all the stories did a world of good to me at a time where my gambling addiction was out of control. I was losing the grip of reality and harming myself in ways that made me feel I was worthless.
Basically, I lived to play slot machines online. The rest was not important; work was just a means to finance my habit and my social life was practically inexistent, mainly because I was not interested in seeing anybody. I would rather sit at home on my own and focus in the mind-numbing activity of repeatedly pressing my computer keys waiting for a win the never came. Day after day. Hiding my addiction from my loved ones, out of shame and guilt.
Shortly after joining the forum, I managed to quit for a long period. I took on board all the advice and suggestions that were offered to me and completely blocked my ability to gamble. Those were happy, relaxed days and I wondered often how on earth gambling had been "a thing" for me in the past. I got complacent and thought those dark days were over but it only took a small bet to get me back in chains.
Last year was tough for me at many levels. One evening, when I was home alone, I saw an add to join a betting site. Suddenly, images of what were my "favourite" slots came flooding into my brain. I can only describe the feeling as nostalgia, as I had forgotten all the pain they had caused. Surely, I thought, I will not get caught again now that I know better... I was so, so wrong! I started with a small deposit and obviously I did not stop there.
Fast forward a few months and here I am again. On day 1. Determined once more to set myself free. Blocks are back in place and I have run out of excuses to myself. Today I have started breaking the chains.
Well done for coming back, when you know you have a gambling problem and you go back to gamble you know in you’re mind this is wrong so I am happy you made it back to the site and maybe understand and have learned another lesson. It’s bloody hard tho and it can hurt very much financially. What I learned was if I relapsed I should tell my partner ASAP to limit the financial damage I can create. Opening up and talking about it is a way of fighting the addiction itself.
my partner gambles on the lottery and some competitions… I just say you will never win! And go into great depths about my destruction and what can happen. It’s a balance thing and works well for us both. She knows I can never bet and I have a lot of responsibility on my shoulders. She can limit herself while I can and will never be able too, ( she never gambles for me in anyway.. just to make that clear!)
so day one and I hope you get to talk to family members about the problem… it’s hard to do it alone but you are not alone just remember that!
dave101
Just for today I will not gamble and maybe have a cheese toastie.
Thanks for firing up my resolve again guys and yes I do believe a ploughman’s sandwich is in order 😋
Hi,
Your story looks exactly like mine. The same feelings, same nostalgia... same stupid mistake after 4 months of gambling free.
Don't give up!
I want to thank you all for your comments and encouragement.
I have to report that I had a painful relapse last Thursday. I immediately realised that, despite having blocks in place, probably the most important or effective one for me was missing and that I needed to reactivate my Gamstop exclusion. No more ifs, no more buts. And I breathed a sigh of relief from the very moment that final block was in place that evening.
So it is day 7 for me today and I'm happy to be have gone through a whole week without gambling. I have been rekindling hobbies, giving my very best at work and generally just feeling at peace with myself. Looking forward to the weekend (drizzly as it may be!). I have no plans to go out but I think I will enjoy a bit of peace and quiet. I may even cook! If you have any lacto-free recipes to share, I'm all ears 🙂
All the very best to you all x
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