Cant do this anymore!

Hi rich,

Welcome to this very supportive forum, where you are not alone.

You have taken a very big positive step by coming in here and realising you have a problem.

I can relate to your post in the new members forum, I had so many PD loans six months ago, apart from long term debt through gambling, I could see no way out, it was very hard to do but I had to tell my OH as I had wiped us out, and then began my new beginning.

Please don't be too hard on yourself, and just take one day at a time with everything, yesterday has gone, your money has gone, tomorrow is not here yet, but today is and its today that counts.

We cannot win because we cannot stop, that is a very positive thought to have at the front of your mind.

We have a triangle on this forum.

TIME LOCATION MONEY.

If you take one of these away it's impossible to play.

I wish you all the very best on your journey of recovery,

YOU CAN DO THIS IF YOU REALLY WANT TO

Best wishes

Suzanne x

Thank you Suzanne for your kind words x

After posting on here last night I decided to type a letter to my partner to tell him what had happened again! And how I felt, I thought this way I could say everything I wanted too because I know if I tell him face to face again I wont be able to tell him how bad my problem really has got because in my mind I want to protect him from the truth and know the words just wont come out, has anyone else told there loved ones this way?

I am working a late shift this week so finish at 10pm I planned to email him the letter a little while before leaving (I know he would get it on his phone) and he would read it and I would have to talk when I got home, but I bottled out of it :(I just couldn't deal with it and I know he is having a very stressful week at work and don't know how he would cope with it, now thinking of leaving it until the weekend as we have nothing planned and gives us more time to talk.

So day 3, feel like a coward but think I am also doing it for his sake too, but on a positive its another day without any gambling 🙂 although sitting here on my own I do want to but I am being strong and I will not give in!

So here I am on day 4 and no gambling which for me is great, I almost tried to find and take out another PD loan as I just want to have a nice weekend after a long week at work but I know a small amount will go on the weekend and I will gamble the rest of it away! It would also mean that I wouldn't have to tell my partner and I could try and put on a happy face for another weekend! But next week would be even worse and would eat me up inside even more.

Finishing work earlier today (Friday) so plan to send him my letter before I leave, and hopefully he will still be here when I get home! Just hope I can find the strength to go through with it but I know I have too I cant drag this on anymore 🙁

Wish me luck, not sure if that is the right thing to even say but need something, fingers crossed the next time I post I wont be single and feeling even more low than I do already.

Hi Rich,

I just wanted to show my support. I hope things went as well as they could tonight.

I'm also new to the site, 12 days gambling free, then a blip, so now 2 days gambling free. I can't offer you any advice but whatever the outcome has been tonight after speaking to your partner, please please please fight the urge to gamble. You've done 4 days already, make it to 5.

J xx

Today is day 6 without gambling but I am struggling 🙁

I told my partner the yesterday evening about the trouble I had got myself into again! He is understandably upset and disappointed in me but the good news is he didn't leave, we talked a lot and we both now realise how bad my problem has got and that I need help.

Today I felt so relived that I had finally told him and had somewhat got rid of the sick feeling in my stomach, I kept myself busy today by doing lots of things around the house and I felt fairly relaxed for the first time in weeks, but my partner has been very quite all day I just thought he needed some time on his own. The problem is im trying not to stress about the money so I don't give in and try and have another go at getting it back 🙁 But he is stressed out about the money and is finding it hard to believe we will ever be normal again financially!

The problem is this is making me feel worse and to be honest I think he is starting to hate me, he is upstairs and I am in the living room on my own with my laptop which could of been dangerous but I decided to post on here instead and take my mind off it for a little. I wont give in!

Hope your all having a good Sunday and good luck for another week of being gambling free 🙂

Thanks for your post Emily your doing brilliantly too 🙂 we can beat this.

So today was the start of my week on early shift while quiting gambling which I know could be tricky as I am so used to coming in and jumping on to the laptop, but today as the sun was shining I went straight out into the garden when I got home and did some bits out there. When I turned my laptop on I went onto gamcare, without thinking about the gambling sites first and that feels good. My partner will be home soon so that will be no gambling on day 7 (Bloody hell that's a week!!!)

Well i am back and probably should of stayed! I was almost 6 months without gambling, losing my job helped (not gambling realted) but it meant i had no money in my account. But i had some money come in and now it's nearly gone it was only £100 but when i have had nothing and my partner has been supporting us for months i feel disgusted with myself, its driving me mad trying to think about how i can cover the loss or lie about where the money went 🙁

So i have no job and no money and lost the little bit I got, how pathetic am I? I had one major slip up since I was here last time and ended up taking an overdose, stupid and selfish I know and not something I will ever do again, sucks to think gambling could do that to me!

Well I had a terrible nights sleep and spent most of the day feeling sick and throwing up due to the stress of going through this again, it didnt help i had a letter from the court come today about a payday loan that i took out at the hight of my gambling they want to put an attachment on my earnings which are zero right now, if i dont have the from back within 14 days i could be sent to prison for 14 days hows that for a wake up call!!!

I must not gamble because it makes me physically ill in the end and its ruined enough of my life now! Have to get a f*****g grip of everything!

Hello Rich

Thank you for coming back to the forum - that shows determination. Have you considered getting advice from eg Stepchange or National Debtline about your debts? That could help with a lot of the stress you're experiencing right now. You can find more information here: http://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-advice/what-can-you-do/finance-and-debt-management#.VweCBvkrKM8

It's also important to put up barriers to help prevent yourself from gambling. We can also offer free counselling, or point you towards Gamblers Anonymous groups in your area. Why not give the GamCare helpline a call if you haven't already? We're on 0808 8020 133, 8am to midnight every day.

Take care

Forum Admin.