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Hi Lee

I felt exactly the same, each month blowing my money and feeling sick each time

I really think I hit my rock bottom on Friday, I signed up to everything to block me and still borrowed a tablet to gamble,  it wouldn't let let me download gamban as the storage was too low on the old tablet,  so I cut the wire up so I couldn't charge it!!  It actually felt liberating!

Only on day 4 and taking each day as it comes, but feel quite proud of myself for doing it, as I literally spun every day

And you know what, I haven't felt sick in those days

I actually smoked a lot while I played which sort of come hand in hand with gambling, I've not even smoked

Just good luck, hope you can do it, take each day

Thanks, luckily I can't gamble online at all due to all the gambam, GamStop bank card blocks ect so that helps alot and I'm self excluded from almost every bookies, casino an even bingo halls in my town, but there's so many that I can still go in to some unnoticed, I'm just going to focus on keeping busy

Well done on 4 days!

Good luck Lee, putting all the stops in place certainly helps, let's hope we can all stay strong and beat this awful addiction

Hi Lee. Wishing you the best of luck, strength and determination. I have lost so many months salary in just hours of it reaching my account, over the years. No way to live at all and I think I am finally realising this! I am now not far off being 300 days g.f!

Great that you have a plan 👏👍.  I would just say though, that the first 90 days can also be the hardest but with determination, patience and plans in place, it can be done. Better than this though is that from experience, within just a matter of days/weeks, I can assure you that you will feel so much better physically and mentally and I can bet your sleep pattern will improve too.

Wishing you the very best 🙏.

Pink Lady 🩷🍎.

Thanks pink lady, and well done on 300 days!

Day 1, took the dog for long walk this morning, really cleared my head, came home thought I'll sort out my finances, work out how much I'll need to borrow to get me through the month then as soon as I started worrying about money all I could think was I should go back one last time to try and get abit back! Even though I know from experience that I'll almost definitely loose every last penny I have, so came on here instead untill the urge passes, going to read some more threads then do some jobs in house I've been meaning to get done for ages before I have to go to work!

Day 2, much better day today, took dog out then went to the gym, picked kids up from school and made a nice healthy tea, that's my new focus try and get healthy! Still didn't get round to getting any of the jobs in house done but had a good day and didn't gamble so I'm happy with that. Long shift at work tomorrow so know I won't gamble then either.

Day 5, still haven't gambled, but I can't stop thinking about it, keeps popping into my head, thinking how I could do things differently this time, like don't take my bank card, only spend abit and cash out soon as I get a chance, I know these things don't work I've tried all this stuff hundreds of times and it all ends the same way, just been keeping myself busy until the thoughts pass.

@fun-has-stopped 

Hey Lee

I’m on Day 1 today and I feel like s***. I have often come up with ‘fool proof’ plans that will allow me to gamble safely. I can honestly say that this doesn’t exist for gambling addicts. 

It always goes wrong. I know that the ‘fool proof’ way of gambling safely for me is to not gamble. I’m determined this time around and I’m reading diaries and subscribing so I can follow others journeys.

Day 5 is amazing… I’m right behind ya 🙂

Thanks em, hopefully can both beat this horrible addiction!

Day 6, been working all day so makes it alot easier, looking forward to going to bed early tonight, cold and tired!

Day 7, this time last week I was devastated! feeling much better now that I've managed to not go back chasing what I'd lost, today I was off work and had some money so was a day I'd normally have gone to the bookies, but I never, instead, long walk with the dog, went to visit my nan and did some food shopping then made a nice healthy tea, a good way to spend a free day rather then sitting in a bookies with a load of strangers in a absolute trance, head pounding with stress, it's not just the money I'm sick of wasting it's my time, I can make more more money but can never get back the days I've wasted.

Day 9, had a bad day at work and really wanted to gamble, luckily I didn't have the opportunity or I might have done, pay day feels a long way off, I hate not having money, after long spells of not gambling I got used to always having money, now I feel back to how I used to be, skint and miserable, day off tomorrow hopefully won't be feeling so down by then 

Day 10, managed another day without gambling but was very tempted, driving to gym this morning and thought popped into my head, same old, could just put abit in and walk away win or loose, then actually laughed as I know this is not something I am capable of, it's funny how the last time (and most other times) that I walked out of the bookies I felt ill, absolutely gutted, close to tears and yet when I think of gambling this isn't the memory that pops into my mind, it's of winning, strange seen as this rarely actually happens and even when it does I never manage to actually keep it, so how does something so negative leave positive memories!! 

@fun-has-stopped Keep going Lee. You are doing really well 👏👏👏. January is a pretty gloomy month for most people so just go with.  Payday will soon be here for you and you will feel so good when 24 hours after you have been paid, you see that you still have money!👌.

Keep going, day at a time and I can assure you, it will get better and better if you remain g.f - just take a look at my diary!😊.

Take care.

Pink Lady 🩷🍎.

Thanks pink lady I've read so many diaries I can't remember if yours is one of them or not but I'll take a look and check!

Day 11 now, much better day, no urges at all and can relax now until Tuesday at least, as that is my next free day.