[Closed] Charly's life

Hiya Sabine 🙂

Just popping in to say even though I'm rarely here...I think of you often and sending you a big hug.

Love Del xox

Hi Sabine

I myself am just popping in to let you know we are all thinking of you.All the best Jeff.

Hi Sabine.

Just want to send my best to you and your family.Thinking of you!

Viggo.

Hiya Sabine,

Hug!

Love Delx

as with the rest you are in my thoughts bine x

Hi my friends

Thanks you for all your prayers and thoughts and nice posts. I do read every now and then but I don't have the energy to write. I'm in pain as I'm writing but thought I must update here so you guys, who have been so very kind to me, know where I am.

Things had taken a turn for the worse as my pain increases almost daily.So much so that I had started giving up. Another reason for not posting. That is never a good place to be in. My days consisted of laying in bed, doing stuff on the laptop my son kindly loaned me. No energy for anything, no up and go and most of all, in my head no reason to get up. What was the point? If I did get up it wasn't for long. I did bits and I'd break out in a sweat, it was like walking around and having a portable shower. Totally exhausting. Not sure where I finally took the energy from to at least write to the cancer nurse and ask for guidance and help. I just said to her that, everytime I had to go and get my tablets I felt like I was on death row. You know - here you go, here are your painkillers, now go back home and die. Don't bother us, we don't want to know any more as there is nothing we can do for you now anyhow.

I went back to my consultant last week tusday for the routine get together, but before that, I wrote to my cancer nurse, like I said above, asking again(I have been asking for tests for weeks but ewas told they know the cancer is there and they know it's growing so they don't need that confirmed by tests, doh) to have blood tests done to see what the cancer levels were and how my organs were doing on all the tablets and stuff I am currently taking.I even said - just humour me

She send a very nice e-mail back, saying she'll pass my e-mail on to the consultant. and that she understood why I needed to have those bloods done. Yeah - finally - someone listens - at least I'd get some information I can pass on if family or friends ask again.

When i got there for the flush through of my porta cath, I told the nurse to do the bloods.. She says, no probs, do you have a form, nope I said, I e-mailed and asked a few days before. She says, no worry, I'll go and print one off, what are we doing - (grin) I says, everything - CA125, liver, kidney, the lot. So she did.

When I got to see the consultant, she knew nothing about it,my cancer nurse hadn't forwarded my e-mail. Ah well, it was doneby then. I let her read the e-mails from my phone. Anyhow, liver and kidney are working 100%, no cancer there still(YIPHEE)

CA125 level(cancer indicator, anything under 30 is classed as normal and my last one in May was round about 600 i think) is now 3978. That is not good. Especially not combined with all the pain I'm in now.

Youl'll never guess what my consultant says next..............

How would you feel about having some more chemo????? w*f???

Hey, did I hear this right, You told me in May that this was it, seeing this last lot wasn't working, it's palliative care, no more treatment available, so WHAT IS GOING ON???

Ahh, she says, the platins(types of chemo treatment) can be given over and over again to put the brakes on and maybe reduce the cancer a bit.

That so I said, then why the hell did you not tell me this in May? Why did you let me believe for months that I'm going to die fairly quickly(well a year or so is quick, isn't it?)

Especially when my angel asked this question last time he came - Can any of the cancer treatments that have been used in the past and did work, be used again? and they said NO.

No matter now! HOPE has returned to this girl's home and that is worth far more than causing arguments over what should and shouldn't have been said or done.

I shall start treatment next week. It'll go like this - 1st week Cisplatin and Gemcitabine, 2nd week just Gemcitabine, 3rd week off - repeat that 6 times - if all goes well.

Downside is - the cisplatin is the predecessor of carboplatin, which is the stuff I had a huge allergic reaction to. The reason for the reaction is that they added something into the carbo to make you feel better. The cisplatin doesn't have that, which means it's evil(in the words of my consultant) and will make me feel like hell. But.... chances are that it will stop the cancer growing for a while and there is a 40% chance of reducing the cancer a bit, which in turn means, I get to be around a while longer. I'm up for that. I have a choice. Even once I have started. If it is too rough, I can always stop and just enjoy the time I have left, but try it I must.

So there you go guys, a detailed update from me.

Now I must go and lay back down. Sitting up like this is killing me. My stomach hurts like hell now.

You all carry on with your recoveries. Remember, no matter what life throws at You, You have the choice, You don't have to waste time by gambling,as that will never solve life. You are all always very close to my heart and I do think of you and your recoveries as they have helped me so very much in mine, and I don't just mean stopping gambling.

Sending lots of love and hugs out to all of you but especially to my besties and you know who you are.

God Bless You

Sabine xx

((((Sabine))))

Wish I could wrap you up in a cosy blanket, and take the pain away.

Following your story has inspired me to stop P*ssing about, and take recovery seriously, and I am now celebrating my 14th week.

Lots of love to you, courageous warrior!

f x

Hello lovely Sabine,

So good to hear from you but I'm sad to hear that the writing is taking it out of you. I think your a wise woman in putting aside the what should have been done and said..you have that hope back...good stuff! I'm hoping of all hopes that the next treatment helps...thinking about you...rooting for you...sending you a big hug.

Love Del xoxoxo

Just popping in to say hello..sending hugs!

Love Del xoxo

Hello my dearest Sabine,

I hope you well strong enough to log on sometime soon and read.

Haven't been around much for months now but for all the right reasons.Life is good,gamble free and normal.

I feel very blessed for that and meeting cyber friends like you on this site,it turned me around.

I dread to think where or what I would be without the support I found here and fronmy own angel at home.

Found myself thinking of you a lot over this last week and thats what inspired me to drop in.

Sending you hugs, I am sad for your pain but hopeful if the treatment does give you more time.

love W xxxx

(((((Sabine)))))

Love you xxx

In my thoughts and prayers, one lovely lady.

Thinking about you ..hugs xoxo

Love Del

Hi Sabine.

Just popping in to say hello and that i know alot of us on here are thinking of you.

All my best.

Viggo.

Hello,

You have been on my mind xx