Closure - 13th Feb 2014

Day 347

Had a bit of a heart to heart with my other half. Said a few things. Reminded her that I am a compulsive gambler which I think really shocked her, didn't tell her of my subsequent slips, but I was amazed by her thinking that it had 'just gone away'. Personally, I don't think I will ever be completely 'cured', and do still get the odd 'urgelet' which never manifests itself to more than a brief thought. Anyway, only a few weeks until 1 year gamble-free

Day 352

Coming up to 1 year gamble free. Credit card #2 now paid, 6 to go, but should get rid of CC card #3 by next month. Debt is flying down now, and its gathering pace, each month more and more paid off £100 then £300 then £700 then £1000 then £1500, next month should be over £2000. Paid off about £6000 in 6 months, twice as much as the previous 2 years put together, but it gathers pace all the time as interest reduces significantly every month. The hard work of the previous 2 years seems to be working now and what a great feeling it is as I close down credit card accounts. Still humongous debts though but reducing in great strides now - I have some real momentum, and I can't stop until I'm back in the comfort zone.

Hi Michael,

I have been following your diary from day one and this latest post is fantastic news. Way back at the beginning when you were so down i did say that there is no quick fix but there is a fix. You have done this well and the payments are now snowballing as the interest reduces as i said it would. Now you seem to have a new drive and you are getting stronger as the debt reduces. Well done and you are nearly at that year so you go for it mate. Your debt free life is on its way as long as you keep the vigour and determination you have you will smash this.

A very big well done to you.I dont know you in person but i am very proud of you for the way you are triumphing over this as you have carried the burden alone.You really are turning this around and that's awesome.

All the best

Steven

Also as an after thought if your debts are reducing significantly you may now get a 0 percent balance transfer card if you have not applied in the last few months. you can use money saving experts soft credit footprint tool that will tell you which cards you are liable to be accepted for and its does not leave a credit search footprint on your credit file so does not affect your credit score.. I would not enter a real phone number though as you get loads of calls on your mobile afterwards.Just make one up :-). If you get a 0 percent card it will smash the debt further as be interest free 🙂

All the best again

Steven

Day 362

Thanks Stephen - Your comments, as ever, are greatly welcomed and really motivating. Yes, surprisingly, I've just been offered a BT deal on one of my existing CC's for 2 years, which I will be taking. Should save me about £100 in interest/month !!

Well, almost 1 year gamble-free, but more to the point, 1555 days since this battle began 14/02/09 when I admitted I had a problem. Looking back, and it was an incredibly dark time, having blown about 60K in 4 months of madness - the last loss I had almost pushed me over the edge. I remember lying in bed, shaking, unable to eat for 2 days before I cracked and confessed all. I remember having to contend with unbelievable debts, working out how make about £500 pay for mortgage + min payments of about £2500 per month. I cracked and I received help, then things started to get better. Then 2 years later, I fell of the wagon and blew another £30K, and I remember so vividly that final day, sitting at my laptop blowing £9K in the space of 3 hrs. I didn't c rack this time, and with the support of Gamcare and it's incredible followers, I started my recovery. But I remember how it felt in the immediate aftermath - all of that hardwork of the preceding 2 years - gone. I had some stupid thoughts, and spent the next month at work, making regular toilet visits just to sit in a cubicle with head in hands. But again, and eventually, things improved, but yet again, last year, May-12, I fell off the wagon - a rush of blood, but by my standards, not as catastrophically as the last 2 times (only lost £5K this time) ! Straight back on, and nearly 12 months on, and here I am, still sitting on a huge pile of debt. But nowadays, the debt is much more manageable. 12 months ago, half my income was going on min payments and mortgage, now it's a third, and it's reducing monthly. This is the lowest it's ever been, and even before gambling days. Even though debt is greater, my means to pay it has never been more. I'm certainly breathing much easier nowadays, and as the worry and anxiety of making it through to next payday slowly dissipates each month, thoughts can turn to other things such as holidays and things like that.

It's weird, that when something happens to you in life, a self-inflicted pit you dig yourself, as you claw your way out, inch-by-inch, that daylight at the end of tunnel takes on new meaning - you appreciate it more. I'm not there yet, but it's no longer the pin-hole it was in the past, it's bright and shining - I'll know when I get there - I just will, and I don't think it's far off. But for the time being, I keep climbing.

Well done, Michael. You are doing really well and you have almost reached a year without gambling, which is a fantastic achievement. However, now your debts are slightly less pressing you must not become complacent. Stay strong and keep going. Are you still on target for your projected 'closure' date of 13th February 2014?

Day 364

On the brink of hitting 1 year gamble-free ! Pellekanin - thanks for your comments, but no, unfortunately not. 13th Feb 2014 I think is out of reach, but hey, it'll be close. And as long as I'm close, then that's good enough for me.

Day 365

One year gamble free today ! Not much more to add that I haven't already said. Next target - 500 days.

Congratulations on this significant milestone. Stay focused and keep your guard up and you will soon be celebrating 500 days gamble-free.

Micheal

may I congratulate you on your years continued abstinence.

An achievement you should be proud of as in my fifteen months here you are the sixth poster to achieve there first gamble free year.

Keep making the right choice.

Duncs stepping forward never back

Likewise, well done on your year free from gambling, an excellent achievement. As Dunc says, keep making the right choice as I do the same one day at a time. Regards.. S.A

Hi Michael,

Well done on the year. You are really motivated now and keep it up. Look at how much you have paid back in the 1 year and this alone can drive you on to your debt free life.

Your last posts have been so full of positivity and thats great . You may or may not get the odd down day but one thing is for sure and that is the longer you carry on the way your are the down days shall get fewer and fewer.

I remember you started crawling towards the finishing line at 1st, wondering if there was a way out. Now you are picking up so much speed its fantastic.

Your drive and will to beat this is a real inspiration, especially as you have done this on your own as your OH cannot know ( Something i am all to familiar with my friend ),

Great work and keep posting and let the feelgood factor flow onto here as it helps you and also others.

Again well done, Brilliant !!.

All the best

Steven

Amazing achievement, a huge well done.

Day 368

Guys - Thanks for all of your comments. But, feeling a little bored and tired today. And for the 1st time in a long time, those demon thoughts pop back - I thought I was away from all of this now. People do get bored now and again, and people also get tired now and again, but it doesn't turn them into gamblers ! So why do I suddenly get these urges ? Grrrrr !

Day 370

A 0% BT offer on one of my existing CC's - one with 0 balance, means that I can cover 2 of my high interest rate cards in one, saving about £100/month interest ! That's good news, and it also means I can technically say that I've got rid of another Credit Card, so down to 5.

I did attempt to apply for a new CC, but unfortunately, even after 2 years, my Credit rating is still very low. Still far too much debt I'm afraid.

The reality is, in spite of all of the hard work of the last 2 years, this continues to be a hard slog. But I will get there - eventually.

Hi Michael,

I can understand your frustration at being turned down for a cc because of your credit score and you say about the 2 years of hard slog.

The thing is its all about how you perceive yourself, not how a computer credit score sees you that will drive you to being debt free. You said not long ago that you had the blip last year and in the last few months alone you have paid of thousands. That is the way to boost your drive and also your credit score will definitely improve. After all your have already got a new 0 percent deal on your existing card and this may not have happened a year ago.

My point is that if you put all this together then it shows that your credit rating is improving and you really are doing well and more 0 percent offers will come too if you just carry on the way you are.

Dont let it get you down, the last year should really pick you up. keep the positive mindset as credit scores cannot reflect the total picture of what you have achieved in the last year but they will soon as you continue winning your battle the way you have been.

All the best

Steven